What are the main differences between female/ male autism?

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Lumi, I have few friends too and I don't like going out with a group of friends.
I love to be alone. I only allow one or two people, whom I perceive as understanding, trustworthy and not superficial, to come to my place and spend time with me. I am not good at keeping contact with others. Some people in my community think I have depression as I used to participate more in social events (not parties, just church events). After burnout, I realize I can't handle social life anymore. It takes too much energy.
Some women with AS have been pressured to socialize. I think it's because that's the norm: women need to enjoy company of others. I have heard that people who has AS are prone to anxiety and depression. However, to diagnose someone with anxiety or depression, there are strict critiria. It's not what people just see as something deviating from the so-called normal behaviors. If someone says I have depression (clinical depression?), I challenge them: show me evidence, why do you think I am depressed, etc.

I'm forcing myself to socialize right now. Granted, I'm not talking to anyone, but I'm out. If I find someone who looks as interesting as me, I'll talk to them.

Well, you were sexually harassed which must've led to some bad memories for you. I understand why you're defensive, you want someone to reply to you confirming your beliefs and suspicions (aka cognitive bias) in order to reaffirm them.

In the past you've been badly treated by gay guys, and you feel alone because you feel like you have no one to turn to, so you seek validation here.

We all experience cognitive bias in some way or another, personally for me it was that I could no longer trust teachers, and assumed the worst whenever I heard stories about teachers. I did this because I found it hard to separate my thoughts of how most of my teachers were to me, from actual reality (that although some of my teachers were horrible, it doesn't mean that all are, and some are caring wonderful people).

Homophobia doesn't have one singular cause, people become homophobic for a variety of reasons, and in the case of you it seems to be a result of negative experiences with gay men, and you find it hard to see the big picture and separate your personal experiences from a more balanced perspective.

I hope this make sense. Yeah, I fail to see what the fact I'm female has to do with anything. If I didn't worry about things that didn't pertain me, then I wouldn't have helped some of the people I've helped in my time so far.

The main difference I notice the most is the one mentioned before, about faking better. During my childhood and adolescence I was described many times as beeing cold. The tone of my voice was monotonous and my face was almost always without expression, I used to reaaally hate to be in pictures and people asking me to smile.

At that time I began to watch many movies and to read many magazines for girls of my age (wich I considered stupid, but I readed them anyway). Most of that info was registered very well on my brain, info about what men like, how to "be pretty", how to flirt, etc, and expressions seen in movies began to came to my mind in real life situations, even the intonation of voice. Those things become like an habit to me and I do it automatically, although I feel my way of speaking is fake, my expressions are exaggerated, and I still fell the urge to look otherway when I have to look people's eyes, but it's manageable now and others don't seem to notice.

Here goes some other peculiarities about me, I don't know if it's the same with men on the spectrum:

-Most of my friends was and still are men (I like do things commonly men do, I often argue with my husband about who is gonna fix some thing in the house, and I don't like things that usually women like).
-I don't follow fashion rules, and I prefer to wear sneakers all the time, it's comfy.
-My special interests was dinosaurs, marbles and pretty rocks (I still have my collections), but I did like dolls.
-I had much more interest in animals than in people.
-I was very quiet most of the time and daydreaming and thinking while looking through the window (people used to think I was sad or bored).
-When I was a child I had no interest in having friends or going to birthday parties, neither in playing with other kids in those parties (I was forced attend them) or participating on games for kids (it seemed silly to me).
-I have never been interested in jewerly
-I was very perfectionist with homework (from maths to art) till the point teachers and classmates thought I wasn't doing it on my own.
etc

I made many changes when I had kids for practical purposes (I had to), I readed many personal development books and it was very useful for deal with so many things, including chitchat and talking with new people (like FORM, which is asking to people about Family, Occupation, Recreation and Motivation) and a convenient perspective about the world being a lab for me to experiment and practice all those things.
That's what I can remember at this moment.

If it makes you feel better, I'm fine with lesbians.

You know that lesbians exist, and homophobia towards gay women also exists, right?

Right?

Yeah, I can relate. I never liked having my picture taken, because I felt unsure of how to pose in them. What do I do with my hands? Should I smile? Look neutral? Am I smiling? Does this look natural? To this day I struggle to smile in photos and usually take a load of photos and pick whichever one I look happiest in.

There are times I just give up, and upload a picture with a neutral expression, because I'm not good at smiling on demand.

You never know what you look like, there are times that I wish there was a way you could see your own facial expression when talking to others, or when a photo is being taken of you. *Sigh*

At one point I was considered monotonous and that I "sounded too serious", I remember one time I was texting my dad asking for a lift home, and a group of girls came up to me asking "Oooh, who are you texting? Maybe it's her lover...is it a secret lover?" to which I replied "No, I'm just texting my dad for a lift". They looked at me for a bit, and one asked "Do you think she's lying?" another responded "It's hard to tell, she's so monotone", someone added "Yeah, it kind of freaks me out a bit", then they all left.

These days I am not monotonous however, and I'm actually told that I have quite an expressive voice.

This is a really good article:

https://www.scientificamerican.com/arti ... -in-girls/

A lot of women, myself included, have been sexually harrassed and molested by men. Does that mean we should be heterophobic?

And this is not too off-topic because one of the poblems that women with Asperger's face is that we misread certain signals and get taken advantage of.

Excellent reading

I am very animated when I speak. I do have an excellent poker face. People can never tell how I'm feeling. I don't really smile much unless I mean it. My smile looks weird most of the time. I like getting my picture taken, but there are few pictures of myself that I actually like. My NT brother hates getting his picture taken and he smiles even less than I do.