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AquaineBay
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31 Dec 2017, 11:09 am

ladyelaine wrote:
I get tired of the basic " Hi How are you" stuff too. I have to hear all about your life all the time. Why not take an interest in my life? It is hard as hell to join conversations. It just feels awkward. People wonder why I'm quiet all the time. If you would give me a chance and include me, then maybe I would talk more.


Pretty much for me that is the only question anyone even ask me "How are you?"(which most of the time they don't really care anyway). I have always been invisible and most of the time go completely unnoticed even when surrounded by other people.

I also hate popularity contest crap as well. The most popular people are obnoxious and self absorbed, don't know why. I think it's stupid that society accepts this kinds of behaviour.


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ladyelaine
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31 Dec 2017, 3:07 pm

HistoryGal wrote:
Hearing about other people's lives all the time without them showing interest in yours is why I don't bother with socializing.


Exactly



ladyelaine
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31 Dec 2017, 3:11 pm

AquaineBay wrote:
ladyelaine wrote:
I get tired of the basic " Hi How are you" stuff too. I have to hear all about your life all the time. Why not take an interest in my life? It is hard as hell to join conversations. It just feels awkward. People wonder why I'm quiet all the time. If you would give me a chance and include me, then maybe I would talk more.


Pretty much for me that is the only question anyone even ask me "How are you?"(which most of the time they don't really care anyway). I have always been invisible and most of the time go completely unnoticed even when surrounded by other people.

I also hate popularity contest crap as well. The most popular people are obnoxious and self absorbed, don't know why. I think it's stupid that society accepts this kinds of behaviour.


I wish people wouldn't ask me how I am unless they actually care. I don't like my time wasted on fake greetings and crap.



LittleCoyoteKat
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31 Dec 2017, 3:32 pm

I always got plenty of attention and praise... as long as I was doing what was expected of me and I was "behaving appropriately". If I wasn't, then I didn't exist at all. Eventually I began to hate any attention I got. It was either Show Pony quality (me being the Show Pony that was supposed to perform) or it was bullies.
I've craved unconditional love and the kind of attention that goes with it, all my life, because it always sounded so nice when I would hear people talking about someone who was always there for them, loved them no matter what, was supportive and understanding. It sounded like some kind of magical solution to all the bad things in life, unconditional love and acceptance.
But it took so long for me to find someone that actually loves me like that, that gives me that kind of attention, that I'm never really convinced that it's real or genuine. So mostly, I'm sandwiched between a rock and a hard place when it comes to attention.

As for attention hogs and popularity contests... I usually don't spare those people any thought or focus. They're already getting enough from everyone else and I've got other things I'd rather spend the time on.


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HistoryGal
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31 Dec 2017, 5:53 pm

I don't find the popularity contest to be in good taste once out of high school. Can't people grow the eff up?



Aristophanes
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31 Dec 2017, 6:46 pm

HistoryGal wrote:
I don't find the popularity contest to be in good taste once out of high school. Can't people grow the eff up?

Nope, sociopaths would have nothing to justify their being without popularity contests and since sociopaths control the world it must continue.



ladyelaine
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31 Dec 2017, 7:52 pm

Aristophanes wrote:
HistoryGal wrote:
I don't find the popularity contest to be in good taste once out of high school. Can't people grow the eff up?

Nope, sociopaths would have nothing to justify their being without popularity contests and since sociopaths control the world it must continue.


Narcissists too



HistoryGal
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31 Dec 2017, 8:19 pm

Luckily I cut a few of those loose from my life recently.



ladyelaine
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31 Dec 2017, 11:04 pm

Life is better without narcissists in it



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01 Jan 2018, 1:15 am

These are just my opinions, & perspective. I think the majority of people just want to be distracted & entertained. Charismatic people have within them the ability to take your mind off of bad stuff happening, or if not, they can make a joke of it and get people to laugh. Laughing reduces stress, & when someone can make them laugh they will naturally gravitate to them again in the future. If not laughter, it can be any other catalyst that draws people to them -- a talent for sand art, 3D art, a new or repurposed gadget, building unique things, ... just something that is good enough for a distraction. That is really all the masses want >> to be distracted &/or entertained. It is kind of easy once you figure out what someone is interest in, but you have to be able to sustain the interaction positively or else they will be deterred to interact with you in the future. No one wants to engage with someone who is negative or doesn't make them feel good frequently. You must put forth the effort, sustain it, & be willing to examine what you are doing or not doing to obtain the attention you desire.



HistoryGal
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01 Jan 2018, 10:02 am

Your post has zilch to do with Elaine's post.



HistoryGal
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01 Jan 2018, 10:06 am

It is a fact that certain people hog all the attention in any given situation. At my age, I don't care. Elaine is just starting out. Perhaps it is tough for her to go up against extroverts.

Don't make this another if you smile more they'll like you more. People come on here for understanding rather than have the resident NTs tell them if you just do........they will accept you.



League_Girl
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01 Jan 2018, 10:09 am

ladyelaine wrote:
Some people get all the attention and all the awards. When I was in school, the same few people got most of the awards and attention. There are the people that hog up the pastor's attention at church. There are the people that hog up the boss's attention at work.

I get tired of being invisible everywhere I go. I can sit at a table full of people and nobody will notice that I left the table. Hell, nobody notices me sitting down at the table to begin with. My extended family doesn't even acknowledge my existence on Facebook or in real life.

What are your experiences with feeling invisible? What are your experiences with attention hogs?



I've learned to not care. I have always been ignored so I used to be silly to get attention so they would notice me. Now I am kept to myself now.

But when someone does try to give me attention, I am all of a sudden annoyed because I am in the middle of something.


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01 Jan 2018, 11:40 am

In my case scenario, I was the individual whom often was rarely acknowledged in terms of my existence.To be honest, I never cared for the spotlight so to speak, in fact I think such persons tend to be shallor or vain in some ways.


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Boo Radley
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01 Jan 2018, 3:39 pm

I feel invisible as well (especially in here) but I kind of like it. It's almost like a special power.



Aristophanes
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01 Jan 2018, 3:40 pm

Boo Radley wrote:
I feel invisible as well (especially in here) but I kind of like it. It's almost like a special power.

I could see that special power being useful in a whole host of criminal activities. :twisted: