Have you been accused of lying because of your autism?

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EzraS
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04 Jan 2018, 9:08 am

Has anyone ever thought you were lying or making stuff up because they didn't understand you, because of your autism?



Last edited by EzraS on 04 Jan 2018, 12:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.

magz
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04 Jan 2018, 9:36 am

Lots of times.
My own mother often said I was "pretending" or "acting dramas" when I was trying to be honest. I need to watch my body language so it matches what I want to say.


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League_Girl
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04 Jan 2018, 9:53 am

I am sure everyone in the world has been accused of lying. I have and I know when someone thinks I am lying without even saying I am. Telling me things like there is no way this can happen, it's not possible and even questioning me about it or saying they don't see it or never seen it happen or when they are not listening to me. I used to think all these people were just stupid and not understanding me until I got to my 20's and I realized maybe they just don't believe me, not because they are stupid. Technically they still are if they think it's not possible just because they expect everyone to be like them.


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AceofPens
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04 Jan 2018, 11:37 am

Very often. It happened more when I was a little kid, though, mostly by doctors and the parents of friends. My sensory problems were the most often misunderstood and interpreted as some elaborate ploy to get more attention. My mom sometimes asks, half-seriously, if I'm making everything up as a way of "staying a child forever," when I want nothing more than to be a fully functional adult. It's frustrating, doubly so because I wish their accusations were true, that it was an act I could drop. When I was eight I told my family that my sensory sensitivities really were fake, that it was all a big joke on them, and I really tried to convince myself that I had been lying all that time. I was tired of being yelled at, and I thought that maybe if I pretended they were nothing but lies, I could erase my issues. I couldn't keep it up, though. At least I know from my own experiences not to discredit others simply because their experiences don't parallel mine.


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EzraS
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04 Jan 2018, 11:58 am

League_Girl wrote:
I am sure everyone in the world has been accused of lying.


I'm wondering is this is more prevalent in autism since the autistic mind operates differently from others and therefore people with autism get misinterpreted more readily.

So really the question is, have you been accused of lying because of your autism? (I edited the title and op).



SuSaNnA
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04 Jan 2018, 12:52 pm

Before I had my diagnosis properly done, my mum accused me of lying about my condition.
She thought I was just trying to find excuses/ the easy way out.



League_Girl
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04 Jan 2018, 1:48 pm

My mom thinks I faked my anxiety and stuff in high school, I don't know if this counts as being accused of lying. I think it's the same.


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EzraS
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04 Jan 2018, 2:15 pm

I'm thinking more along the lines of unintentionally saying the wrong thing or unintentionally saying something incorrect, or it looking that way to someone.



starcats
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04 Jan 2018, 2:17 pm

All the time! It used to be so frustrating because I could never get why people would think that. I don't know how to lie. Now I just take it as amusing.



League_Girl
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04 Jan 2018, 3:16 pm

EzraS wrote:
I'm thinking more along the lines of unintentionally saying the wrong thing or unintentionally saying something incorrect, or it looking that way to someone.



Yes I do this quite a bit. I call it a brain fart. You can ask me where a place is and I can accidentally give out the wrong location and directions. I am better off saying I don't know. Yes this is lying but I just don't want to give them the wrong location and then realized later I goofed up. Now if someone just asks me where the mall is and it's only two blocks over, I just point. You can actually see the building.


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fruitloop42
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04 Jan 2018, 3:45 pm

I sometimes struggle to answer direct questions quickly, or I have a stutter and feel like I'm getting confused. And I sometimes worry that makes me look suspicious. Say if a ticket inspector on the train asks me which station I got on at and I feel like I'm looking elusive because it takes me a while to get the answer out. Nobody has ever actually accused me of lying in those situations, I just worry that I look suspicious. I don't know if that's the kind of thing you're looking for though.



livingwithautism
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04 Jan 2018, 7:54 pm

EzraS wrote:
I'm thinking more along the lines of unintentionally saying the wrong thing or unintentionally saying something incorrect, or it looking that way to someone.


I unintentionally say the wrong thing because I misunderstand what the person said and vice versa. It seems like there's some sort of mismatch of communication between me and the other person. Or if I say something that sounds weird they assume I don't know what I'm talking about even though I do know, it's just that I can't get the words out right.



XenoMind
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05 Jan 2018, 1:12 am

And here comes a question that I asked some time ago :wink:
https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=322546



ASPartOfMe
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05 Jan 2018, 6:20 am

I do not think most people can go through life without being accused of lying. Some
people are just skeptics and assume the other person is lying.

Autistics have the additional issues of lack of eye contact which NT’s associate with being shifty and atypical body language.


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Edna3362
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05 Jan 2018, 6:42 am

EzraS wrote:
I'm thinking more along the lines of unintentionally saying the wrong thing or unintentionally saying something incorrect, or it looking that way to someone.

In my case? I'll try to recall all of it. :lol:

Unintentionally saying the wrong thing or unintentionally saying something incorrect-- bad verbal comprehension, differing contexts -- different wording, 'undescribable messages', short term memory problems, executive functioning issue: sequencing and sequencing messages.
Even it goes as far as wrong timings and/of echolalila (yes and it's unnoticeable) and/or perceived like impulsivity (not knowing when it's right to) or actual impulsivity (added with verbal misinterpretations above).

Looking that way to someone -- of course. :lol: Odd body language, 'wrong tones', etc. Whatever what makes one superficially suspicious.


One-sided empathy, ethnocentric like presumptions (body language, context), etc...


In other words, yes. :lol:


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Goldenhawk
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05 Jan 2018, 7:16 am

I will frequently say the wrong thing unintentionally, then get accused of lying. I try to keep control over it by giving myself extra time before I answer anything to process what was said, but it's like there is some sort of disconnect between what I want to say and what actually comes out. Then of course, if I correct myself a few minutes later when I've actually processed everything the other person frequently becomes frustrated or upset since I didn't give them the correct information the first time. It's not as bad when I've got a script for the conversation or have anticipated what people might ask of me and pre-prepared answers.