Is it "normal" that everyone gets everything i say wrong?

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Hi,
I mean, seriously, even if I try to talk to someone, like a doc, about my vision (problems), which is something very straight forward and logical, they get me wrong. ALL THE TIME, people get me wrong. In very bad and weird ways. I'm not going into details because that's too painful.
Sometimes they hear just stuff I didn't actually say! I mean, this doesn't make any sense AT ALL. In one situation, someone heard a sentence Completely and Utterly unrelated to what I said, and reacted accordingly.
Is this "normal" for "us" in "our" miserable lifes with these so called "normal" people?

The funny part is, not a single time, I was misunderstood here on this forum. On othe forums, everyone thinks I'm either a troll or insane.

That happens to me constantly, I would think in part that a social communications disorder that that would be a factor. I know people in general have a hard time listening, and miscommunications throughout our species is fairly common. I know that just my tone of voice will be misinterpreted, and then I try to change it to avoid that, and it makes it worse. I think personally my body language might read differently than others, but I also have issues on forums too. But being that the majority of people rely on body language it is not surprising that many misunderstandings are made in writing. I know that reality is largely filtered through our perceptions, and people operate on the basis of an expected social norm, so they are not looking to be able to see perspectives they don't expect, which probably helps narrow down confusion, but limits your reality substantially at the same time. I wonder if supposedly neuro typical (I think everyone's brains are radically different, some just blend better) experience this too, and don't talk about it. I feel like I am trying to translate my thoughts to other people, which is really strange and confusing.

Yes. I don't know if you mean normal as in normal for everyone or normal for us. Online I would think it would be more due to lack of tone because they can't hear your tone or see your body language so misunderstandings are more likely to occur. I don't interact enough in real life for me to know how often I am misunderstood and when it happens, it's not enough to count how often it happens.

Also people will sometimes twist your words if it's an argument or a disagreement. I see it as a form of gaslighting because they are doing it to make you look crazy because they are doing it to win the argument so you you will get worn out and quit because the more you speak, the more insane you look because they will keep twisting it. This usually happens in debates or in strong topics or when a topic is very emotional for someone because they have a strong opinion about it. It doesn't mean there was anything wrong with your communication, it's sometimes the other person with the problem. Just a life pro tip.

Someone asked if NTs experience this too through writing, definitely because of lack of body language.

Funny that you mention this because its an issue with me lately- how some folks put things into what you said that are not there.

This is me all the time. People hearing things I didn't say, yes. The past couple days I've been noticing that when I talk, people just walk away as if I'm not. Am I not clear enough that I'm talking to them? Or is that supposed to be socially acceptable to pretend you don't hear when someone talks to you?

this happens all time with me and it's really frustrating

It's an issue for me, even when I'm really careful. I've had a doctor miss a TB diagnosis and other nastiness because they hear something other than what I say. I think it's because NT people don't actually parse sentences. A sentence reminds them of something they've heard before. And they figure that's what you mean. Because the shape of our thoughts is very different from theirs and we're trying to get a point across in a literal manner, they often come up with something from their memory that is only loosely related to what we're trying to communicate. Sort of like a metal ball rolling unpredictably down a Pachinko machine. Also because it takes more mental attention and energy to parse a sentence rigorously than to associate some part of it with something already in memory, NTs often make loose assumptions about what is meant. It brings to mind Monty Python skits, nod, nod, wink, wink, where context trumps words. With other autistics I don't have that issue because we're both interacting at the level of syntax and semantics. And NTs have a magical way of reading each other's intended meaning without too much effort...

Some people probably just don't understand my vocabulary; I notice that many confuse the two most common engineering terms. Some seem to take offence when I offer suggestions, but that's not unusual. My ex called me passive aggressive, meaning I was not acting like a slave. She was also prone to interpreting "I'm having a great time networking with the other engineers here" as "we call home when the girls go to the bathroom." There are a lot of people who will assume you are like someone else you remind them of in some minor way, and many who can't really imagine minds different than their own. "If I was doing that, I'd be acting, so you must be faking it."

What I cant stand is folks who slander you for lying and expect you to be delighted to be slandered.

Case in point:some guy with his wife and kids in the car infront of mine at the gas station. I was driving home, and I realized that I could not put off fixing the automatic shift on my car that had been not securely fastening my car in park. Had been getting steadily worse. Finnally Realized that I should pull a U turn and leave the car at the Ford dealership to be fixed. But was also low on gas. So I pulled up to gas pump. Put in park. Guess what while I was fixing to pump the car fell out of park and rolled in to the car I front at the next pump. The driver and I got out looked at it. My car was moving somewhere between zero and a tiny fraction of one MPH, so there was no damage to eiher car. So there was no need for the whole exchanging phone numbers and insurance company thing. No problem. I apologized and told the truth the car had mechanical problems. He smiled and laughed and something to the effect that "Its okay. You don't hafta lie about..." I don't even know WTF he thought I was lying about. He meant to be "nice", and he just some stranger who I will never see again. But I still have fantasies of verbally lashing out at him to say "you're both as*hole AND idiot dude! A) you just called me liar, and (b) you did so when its illogical to think that I was lying!". And then I would then explain to him (in the most condescending voice I could muster, like talking to child)that " when a person LIES its to GET something. IE to make myself look better. Admitting that I was negligent about fixing my car doesn't make me look any better than if I had just forgot to put on the breaks. Its step sidewise at best, if not a step down. So why would I bother to lie in order to make myself look no better, or even look worse than the truth? So if you had more than a piece of candy corn for brain it would be obvious to you that I am telling the truth."

Ofcourse I would never have done that in that situation because...my car had just hit his car (if he ldn't find damage to his car and had gotten him pissed off-he coulda faked whiplash and sued me. Lol!).

Someone at work did that a couple of times recently. Pissed me off. Just today worked with person again today.
Ididnt
say anything about it but we had a good time working together (a funny lady who is very emotional, and working with her usually emotionalusually in a good way- but she can rub a person the wrong way) anyone. I am just rambling.

But it just occurred to me that there IS one possible comeback to one of these acts of "friendly slander" that folks indulge in: just say "don't project yourself on to others please. Just because you're a liar doesn't mean everyone is a liar.".

It sounds as if you have some unfortunate feedback loop going, expecting to have no credibility. Frank Abgnale had the opposite condition - he never had trouble passing bad checks. Dogs growl at people who are afraid of them, and they stay afraid for life. For credibility, looking people in the eye is often critical, which is difficult for many Aspies.