Are intimate relationships/cohabiting basically a bad idea?

Page 1 of 1 [ 3 posts ] 

WestHam83
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 14

24 Mar 2018, 5:24 am

Hello again

I have been thinking about this more acutely in recent months. I am in a relationship and have been in the same one for getting close to six years. It is extremely difficult for both of us and we often get angry with each other.

My understanding of emotional reciprocity and touch and intimacy is basically non existent. I do not enjoy sharing a bed, having hugs and if I never had sex again I would be more than happy. I do not understand the need for those things, certainly not on a regular basis. So, I either sleep in my own room alone or on the sofa (couch to my American/Canadian friends). I basically prefer to be alone, to follow my interests without interference or feeling I am being looked down on. My partner is quite verbally aggressive and snappy which doesn't work for me at all. I am very separate and unwilling to be physical which doesn't work for her. We have a child together, so naturally it is imperative we try our best to make it a nice environment for the child.

I am definitely of the view that should the relationship ever break down, I would never want to enter in to one again. It is far too stressful for myself and my partner and it makes me pretty unhappy overall.

How do you all find relationships and sharing your space with another person?



CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 116,873
Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love

24 Mar 2018, 6:22 am

I don't think I'd be able to be in a relationship. I'm better off on my own. I'm too warlike to understand intimacy or be in a traditional, intimate relationship. Some people fare well in the bedroom and some people are better off on the battlefield.


_________________
The Family Enigma


ToughDiamond
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2008
Age: 72
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,973

26 Mar 2018, 11:21 am

I seem able to live with my current partner indefinitely, with no obvious problem. It wasn't so good with previous partners, so either I've learned to relate better or I've learned to stop choosing incompatible partners.

If somebody basically doesn't like company, it's probably better that they don't cohabit. In my case the company is worth the hassle. It's often hard to notice at the time, but I feel a certain comfort from just knowing there's a friend in the same house. Living alone has a lot of advantages but for me it would be a mistake to be that way all the time.