How do you feel when people look or stare at you?

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At best, it's funny. At most, it's confusing. At worst, it's distracting.


If someone stares at me while doing something, I'd usually stop or slow down. See if this person wants something or what.

If not, I stare back and leave.
But if that person is someone I've been goofing around with, I'd laugh and stare back. Unless said person isn't really goofing around, I'd just get curious.

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People stare at me under 2 circumstances:

1. I rushed out of bed and jumped on a train with a wild hairdo. Sighs usually go with those stares.
2. I recently had a haircut + took the time to comb/shave and women are staring at me for other reasons.

Either way, i do not feel anything, i appreciate the second situation.

Uncomfortable. I usually look away and try to ignore them. I find eye contact VERY intimidating.

To be honest, I'm usually unaware of when people are looking at me or staring. I don't notice unless somebody points it out.

I feel a little uncomfortable

I don't mind kids and teens staring at me. They do it because they find me interesting. They've never seen someone like me before.

I know that I get stared at because of my stimming and awkwardness and usually hiding behind shaggy hair and a hoodie. But I'm also pretty much oblivious to those around me.

Hate it
Some days I don't care and can control my reaction and find it easy to ignore people. Other days, like last week when I was with my Dad I was stressed and close to a meltdown, I can't stand people looking at me. It's too much for my mind to have to deal with eye contact from other people.

For deflecting unwanted sexual attention, I feel I have near perfected the art of making myself invisible in public space. Or at least making myself feel fairly invisible when I want to in public space. People can’t make me feel uncomfortable if I don’t notice them.

This came after having a very hard time travelling alone as a single female in all sorts of places and also after teaching in a fairly male university environment when I was in my mid 20s and many of my students were only a few years younger than me. I initially suffered all sorts of unwanted attention. During my travels: staring was the tip of the iceberg, masturbating men jumping out from behind bushes was fairly frequent, one incident where someone got far too close for comfort on a bus when I fell asleep, two highly unwelcome marriage proposals on long distance flights without me even talking to the person etc. I am a sensible traveler. I cover up. I am respectful of cultural norms. Still this just kept happening. Then I went to live in Cairo and I learnt that it is not really just about what you wear but more about how you carry yourself. I learnt to walk fast with determination and purpose. I learnt to take in my environment without looking directly at people (kind of treating them like blob like things), not hold my gaze up when walking along the street but down, and I learnt how to bury my head in books or newspapers and appear highly unapproachable. With my students I put a lot of effort into making myself as asexual as possible and keeping a strictly professional relationship. It mostly worked.

So with these new strategies and not being in my more vulnerable 20s anymore... I am no longer bothered.

If people are staring at me for other reasons, well I probably hardly register them either. People stare at people with children, probably so you can kind of smile at each other and acknowledge how cute children are and share some inane thought about the circle of life or something.... I try to avoid that too.

My daughter is very specific in a safe home environment that she finds staring an invasion of her privacy. People stare at me when she stims in public as they seem to either feel I would hold the key to what is going on or ask her to move along (if she is doing checks and momentarily blocking their way) I just revert to my strategies for not noticing!

Edited to add: This is not to suggest in any way that staring is predatory and sexual. I am sure most of the time people are just nosy. My mother stares like crazy. I just find it really rude.

Unless I've just had a meltdown I don't think people stare at me that much. Not that I've noticed, anyway. If I did I could just say, "Take a picture, it'll last longer".

If someone said that to me, however, I'd probably say "I'd rather not break my camera."