Traumatic life events resurface after diagnosis
I have recently been diagnosed with Aspergers, and now in my mind all the major life events I went through are being replayed from this perspective - how being an aspie might explain what happened there and then. Some of them are pretty traumatic (bullying, being hospitalised for depression, attempted suicide, eating disorder, emotionally abusive relationships, divorce, lost friendships etc.).
Most of these happened more than 5-10 years ago, so I wonder to what extent is this normal, how long it might last, and if I should get help to go through these? Or it will be just less and less intense over time?
Anyone had similar experience after being diagnosed?
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After my diagnosis I reinterpreted key turning points and memorable moments in my life good and bad. In the 80’s I was at my most “functional” point in my life. I made a decision at work that was influenced by autistic thinking that did not have an immediate effect but would start a long slow slide to unemployability and autistic burnout. The late 90’s was probably the best economy in America yet it took me two years to find a job after being laid off. Maybe the most painful day during that time was seeing newspaper headline “Prosperity Wave” and a whole section devoted to local companies expanding, hiring and generally raking it in. Me and everybody around me was proplexed as to why I was not able to join in the fun. Now I know why.
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Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity
“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman
I went through the same thing right after I was diagnosed. I revisited a load of events from 10-15 years ago and re-interpreted them in light of the diagnosis, especially the bullying and lost friendships. Finally, I realised that I was never a bad child, just clueless as to how to socialise in an acceptable way.
To answer your questions: yes, it's normal and it will get less intense after a while.
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Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?
- Epicurus
Absolutely!
Mine go back even longer, as I was diagnosed at 39 and can still recall very autistic moments from my school days. It hurts, but it does heal. I thought a lot about the same events over and over again. One thing that is a good way to start dealing with it is to write things down, in a diary or whatever. I like making lists too, I have multiple word documents about how my autism affects me now and in the past.
My initial reaction to diagnosis was very a very positive one, but after a while I started to feel very down. I managed to find an online counsellor who specialised in Asperger's and talking to her helped get some of it out of my system- but talking that much about myself also put added pressure on me so I did the minimum 7 weeks.
Another thing that I have found to be helpful is using those experiences to help others. I work in a school, and when I see autistic traits in children with whom I work I am able to handle the situation better for them, and give feedback to their teachers. Somehow by ministering to their needs I am ministering to my inner child, and making something positive out of my negative experiences.
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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 149 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 73 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
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