You know you're autistic when...

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i like this one too

ahaha between who?! me vs the system?

You just need the right help.
If you know people who claim DLA, find out who from them who the most amenable doctor is.
Go to the reception and ask for an appointment with that doctor.
That is how you change doctors.
Good luck.

When your mom says “you didn’t clean the litter box! If that cat messes on the floor again I’m gonna knock your socks off” and you reply with “well number one I ain’t even wearing socks...”

(This one was my brother, not me, but he’s also autistic)

When other Aspies expect you to give away something that they have put no effort into, simply because you are an Aspie too.

Everyday. I try to be critical about context but fall for this so often.

Me everyday

well i don't have a diagnosis yet, i don't feel i'm official enough to contribute with general statements but will be sure to spam ~

You miss someone’s sarcasm when texting multiple times so they type “/s” after saying something but you don’t know it stands for sarcasm so you take it literally again.

I'm always struck by the fact that nobody understands how pleasant it is to sit alone and think for half an hour. I frequently take the five minute walk from my home to the city centre and sit on a bench alone for half an hour when things get too loud or overwhelming, and find it incredibly soothing; inevitably, an NT approaches me and asks if I'm okay, which totally ruins the experience.

...you have to repeat yourself often in order for people to understand you, which is at least as annoying for you as it is for others.

I know that feeling quite realistic

You spend 5 days researching which is the best cat food, then when you get to the store they don't have the ones you were looking for or your cat won't eat it so you spend 5 more days researching. Repeat for several months.

You pull off a relaxed sounding "hi!" then nearly walk into something.

All humans are obsessed with what other humans think of them.

But aspies and autistics are impaired in deciphering what others think of them, and are more likely to make social mistakes and suffer the consequences, and like that. So it tends to be more of moment to moment obsession with autistics instead of the more general and less urgent obsession it is with NTs.

Starcats,

The cat food one sounds like me!

You know you're autistic when you run up a $600 phone bill just because you wanted to know the weather for every location in the world at a certain time.

I was just about to turn 10 years old when I did this.