Breaking Down
I got a new job, which is hard enough. Thankfully, someone I know works with me. But the time interferes with my schedule for school. It's not just that, it's plenty of things lately, I just cant...get it out. Does that make sense? I feel like I'm breaking down. It's getting harder to actually get my words out and reply to people. My mom says I seem rude. My words just aren't working well right now, and I have to force out my few words. I've consistently felt on the verge of just screaming and crying and hitting things, which I haven't done since I was about 12. I don't know what to do. Even eating is becoming a once a day occurrence. I only eat when it hurts. I don't want anyone to touch me. I just feel off. I don't know what to do. I've just recently started therapy for social anxiety about 2 months ago. (I'm a teenager) She said she noticed a few things, and recommended I be tested. My test is at the end of the month for autism. It was hard to be okay with even typing that, as I'm not really sure what it is. However, nobody in my life seems to understand what's happening, or maybe they don't even see it, so I thought maybe it was related to this. Have any of you experienced this before, and if so, how did you survive it?
Last edited by Theretheirtheyre on 07 May 2018, 10:00 am, edited 1 time in total.
All what you said can be stressful even for an "average" 16-year-old person. Juggling school and a job is hard for anybody. It was pretty hard for me when I did it back in the 1990s and 2000s.
It's good that you will get an evaluation.
Even if it turns out that you're autistic, it's not a tragedy. It's just something that one needs to attend to. It does not preclude you from success.
ASPartOfMe
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Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 67
Gender: Male
Posts: 35,703
Location: Long Island, New York
Welcome to Wrong Planet
Sometimes in life, we take on too many things and have to drop something or some things.
My 18-year-old nonautistic niece recently had to quit a job she loved because her job and school work was too much for her. Her job was interfering with her school work. She had to sacrifice some material things and the enjoyment of her job to give herself a better chance for a fulfilling future.
Also, it is pretty common to have a lot of anxiety before being tested for autism.
Basics about Autism
Signs and Symptoms
People with ASD often have problems with social, emotional, and communication skills. They might repeat certain behaviors and might not want change in their daily activities. Many people with ASD also have different ways of learning, paying attention, or reacting to things. Signs of ASD begin during early childhood and typically last throughout a person’s life.
Children or adults with ASD might
not look at objects when another person points at them
have trouble relating to others or not have an interest in other people at all
avoid eye contact and want to be alone
have trouble understanding other people’s feelings or talking about their own feelings
appear to be unaware when people talk to them, but respond to other sounds
be very interested in people, but not know how to talk, play, or relate to them
repeat or echo words or phrases said to them, or repeat words or phrases in place of normal language
have trouble expressing their needs using typical words or motions
prefer not to be held
have trouble adapting when a routine changes
have unusual reactions to the way things smell, taste, look, feel, or sound
lose skills they once had
Autistic people often have trouble with multitasking.
Autistic people often can be blunt and that is often misinterpreted as rude.
I hope your autism assessment next month is helpful to you.
_________________
Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity
“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman
This is normal in Autism and it happens to me all the time. This is why functioning labels are so destructive. If you reach levels of stress and overload your brain starts to shut systems down in order to try to cope with the overload and you start to regress in basic skills or temporarily lose them completely.
This happens to everyone whether nt or Auristic or anywhere in between. The difference is that an nt's brain will only reach that point during times of extreme stress and overload. So an nt could go his whole life and maybe only have it happen once or not at all.
Because Autistics have brain processing issues, our brains have a much harder time processing everything than nts do. And we need much more recovery time from processing everything than nts do. So we reach these extreme levels of overload much quicker, much more easily, and much more often than nts do. And because we take a much longer time to recover from stress and overload than nts do, we often do not recover fully from things because we are hit with a new overload or stress before having had a chance to recover from the last one.
I once told an nt that I was struggling from social and emotional overload. She asked me if I just needed a break for an hour because that is all she would need to recover from social or emotional stress. I told her that I might not be fully recovered for a couple of weeks.
There is nothing wrong with you. You are Autistic, you are overwhelmed and your brain is reacting in a normal and proper way for an overwhelmed Autistic brain to react. It means you have way too much going on. You need to cut back. This is why functioning labels suck. Our levels of functioning can change dramatically depending on our stress levels and our environments.
_________________
"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."
Wreck It Ralph