I feel no connection to other Aspies

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Even though many push for an "autistic identity" and solidarity as Aspies facing a world that is not accommodating to us, noble as it may be, I feel neither a sense of unity nor belonging among other Aspies any more than I do Neurotypicals, simply as a virtue of us being autistic. Maybe it's presumptuous of me to assume this community alone is representative of every Aspie, but indeed there are a tremendous amount of people who use this site, and millions upon millions of posts of various subjects by people all over the spectrum. Taken as an aggregate I feel just as estranged and disconnected to Aspies as a whole as I do to Neurotypicals. The common ground we cover is simply issues that concern only Aspies - special interests, acute sensory stimulation, strange method of thinking, and so on. That seems like so much, but everything that makes us uniquely human - our passions, our beliefs, or values, our perception of reality, and outlook on living is all variable.

A society of the unsocietable is society nonetheless, and as is true of genuine society, norms, traditions, and customs arise. Just as society has its institutions and standards of normalcy so it is here - and being confronted by the Aspie monolith can be just as overwhelming.

The politics and philosophy section for instance is ideologically homogeneous, from my observations. Every discussion seems to centre on discussing the nuances of a particular belief or set of beliefs within the same paradigm of ideas; while nobody challenges the ideas themselves or presents a countering view. The sections and discussions of special interests don't at all include specific or peculiar interests that even come close to mine, but focus only on the "big ones"; the quintessential autistic proclivities towards technology, geek culture, etc. If I was to interject I'd find no common ground and others would quickly move on. Even the posts made here - especially on the "random" page seem like a popularity contest, no different than highschool, where though provoking discussions are stifled by vacuous, trivial nonsense about banal subjects, which in turn muster thousands of views and replies, although in keeping with the rules I won't list specific examples.

Ironically, I feel just as foreign and unrelatable in the presence of Aspies as I have among Neurotypicals in social settings. I'm no longer on the wrong planet, but now on the wrong continent.

I've often seen a though experiment floating around these forums in the form of - What would a country run by Aspies look like, and would you like to live there? with much optimistic speculation on that part. Honestly, I'd rather live in a country filled with like minded neurotypicals, with the same values, ideas, and dispositions than other Aspies, to whom I bear no similitude other than being placed on the same spectrum of diagnosis. I don't say this to flaunt my own uniqueness or insult your intelligence - I quite hope that I'm not unique and others have felt the same to an extent. If you've ever felt so, please let me know.

I do agree that an autistic-ruled community would not be functional. Maybe it's a marxist-like dream that the world woud be repaired if the victims of the current system got the power.
It wouldn't. The today's victims can well become tomorrow's agressors and some smartees would gain the most of the power anyway. See the outcomes of any big revolution.

The autistic people have trouble feeling connection to other people in general. The fact that others are autistic too means only that we can sometimes share some autism-related expiriences. But our brains are still non-social. And some of the said brains are more and some are less non-social.

I think it's significant that terms like "I can relate" are common here, not "I know what you are feeling".

There are, actually, many challenges to prevailing belief systems.

You should start a thread in PPR about your notions as to why you feel people slavishly follow prevailing notions.

People in Random just want to have fun, usually.

In general, people respond more to people they are familiar with than “new” people. I was “New” once, too.

Continually, I believe that the colloquial term would be ‘rare bird’. At least that has been the common theme among others I have discussed this issue within my immediate circle.

Most people aren’t open minded even though they believe themselves to be, most don’t engage in logic, most don’t want to hear opposing view points, and certainly most don’t want anything more than someone to reaffirm their beliefs.

It seems counterintuitive given the nature of the site, however it’s the reality. What I try to do is observe and when there is someone that seems to hold the same title as myself (rare bird) I engage enough to test my hypothesis. Sometimes it’s rewarding to have that glimpse othertimes it’s a failed attempt. Much like the analogy of high school.

For myself it has driven a desire to create something more attuned to my distinctive traits that allows me to express myself and be heard by those open enough to listen. Hopefully, in the not so distant future when I complete my idea (it’s being worked on) it will help others with the same title of ‘rare bird’ if they are interested. Which I believe (or I am forcing myself to believe) they would want to take part in and find more rewarding than the current status quo.

Your response is the most cogent so far. Better it is, I suppose, to seek out another rare personality than seek solidarity among the masses. Unfortunately the same obstacles are then manifest as would be if this were a forum for NTs. Since one's individual tics are rejected as a whole to find another to talk with requires screening others by setting out feelers in the form of a statement or argument which one would hope, others would then latch too, and this would be the basis for forming friendships and cliques. In theory this should be far easier in a community of autistic people, each of whom should have a propensity for doing just that. But the Aspie bloc is just as inimical to tics and ideas outside of the mainstream as any other segment of society.

I'm intrigued by your hypothesis and ideas, could you describe them in greater depth please?



I'm a bit shell shocked at the moment because the last time I posted in PPR it was eaten alive; out of 43 total responses only one was positive. I made the awful mistake of criticizing a right-wing position and was assailed in all directions by those who thought challenging their idea was an indictment of their character. The inability to distinguish one's opinions from themselves is why I felt so, at least in respect to PPR. If I made a post drawing attention to this I feel that I'd come off as a rhetorical smuggler trying to interject my own ideas as opposed to a genuinely concerned individual.

What was the position you espoused?

I promise: I won't "eat you alive."

I would say, most of the time, that I espouse things which are called "left-wing" these days--but wouldn't have been called "left-wing" until quite recently.

Most positions people take are merely opinions, and are usually based on a hybrid of logic-emotion, rather than on either "pure" logic or "pure" emotion.

A desire to "one-up" somebody is probably paramount within many PPR posts.

Sometimes, this desire interferes with any sort of pursuit of a "truth."

Well, believe it or not, you were one of the responders. Your response wasn't hostile but it was pessimistic, although you mentioned it was "well written" and you'd shake my hand. I don't blame you for not recognizing my title though, as I seldom post, and this happened a long time ago.

But to answer your question - I was talking about the events that led up to the Bulletin of the Atomic scientists' decision to move the doomsday clock to 2.5 minutes to midnight, roughly a year or so ago. I criticized the Trump administration for exacerbating this by appointing Scot Pruitt as head of the EPA, Rick Perry as head of the Department of Energy (both climate change deniers) and cutting funding to NASA, and then urged others to be more vigilant concerning political matters and to embrace environmental causes, as opposed to considering them a partisan issue.

But the notion that PPR is ideologically homogenous isn't exactly one I had to figure out on my own, nor does that single post suffice for evidence. If you were to count all the posts on several pages and average them together by which had conservative or liberal undertones, the consequent pie chart would look like an all-encompassing right wing Pacman, consuming the tiny liberal slice of pie. In fact I was considering doing just that and coming up with a "true" statistic, and using this as the topic of several discussions. But I'm having trouble at present finding an objective medium to judge left or right leaning views.

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Regardless, PPR is small segment of a more encompassing issue. That alone wasn't a cause for distress. What I meant was that the methods you employ for meeting people in an autistic community are identical to those you try and use when talking to NTs, which is paradoxical considering that Aspies are supposed to have a similar theory of mind which would thus dictate how they go about to employ conversation and relate to the world around them and so forth... In other words an Aspie "society" like wrong planet is just like an NT one: It's a popularity contest, only the mainstream interests and passions are represented while more bizarre and lesser known kinks are pushed to the fringes.

In an ideal society I feel that relationships would be cultivated thusly: One would set out feelers in the form of an statement or declaration of one's passions. Others with the same passions would latch onto this and gradually your group centred around mutual likes, passions, and so forth would wax fuller. This would become the basis of friendships, clubs, group activities, and so forth. Aspie society is much like our current one in that socializing isn't structured around the mutual pursuit of interests or the cultivation of ideas; things that make one uniquely human. Rather the reason we socialize now is one in the same as with NTs - typically emotional fulfillment, having fun, or fulfilling objectives befitting to our survival.

That's why I said I would rather inhabit a niche of sociable NTs whose interests and passions were the same, which would then form the basis of flourishing relationships, rather than with other Aspies whose only point of comparison is the same neurotype.

I’ve encountered challenges when seeking out a compatriot with my proclivities that resulted in counterproductive communication I’d be a liar if I said otherwise. I’d also be dishonest if I said it doesn’t get difficult even demanding. However, given the breath of a moment of internal disease as opposed to the lingering solitude if no action is taken, I choose to attempt and not allow it to reinforce the ideation that I am alone if it’s unproductive.

I’d be happy to share my idea with you. I don’t want to share it publicly though as I’ve had similar experiences as you have. If you’d like I would be happy to talk privately by utilizing the private message system here if you are in agreement to do so. If not, I do appreciate the inquiry anyway.

That would be splendid, although I'm at work at the moment, at 8PM EST I'll certainly be ready to hold a conversation and you can message me then.

I tend to get along more with people with ADHD, i guess I am quirky enough. That has always been the case.
Many people simply dont care about many of the issues you many have been espousing. For me, I ignore the political debates and tend to respond to more of the social aspects of our lives since that is what I am trying to work on. I do not mind getting into a political debate it is just not the reasons I come on this site.
I find that many people cannot take disagreements and simply call it an attack. I don't if that was your experience but people disagreeing with you should not be a deal breaker to talking to them.

Individual people can't agree with other individual people on everything; otherwise, we'd be clones and doomed to extinction.

I have always laughed at the whole "Aspies against the World" movement. I don't identify with it either, but then again I'm not an Aspie.

While there is comfort in communication with people who hold the same opinions as oneself, it is far more interesting and stimulating to interact with people who differ. My life has been a voyage of exploration of the world beyond my puny borders. I have found WP to be filled with a variety of interesting people, left and right, conservative and liberal, atheist and believers and so on.

Strong reactions occur when you (editorially) threaten a strongly held ideal of others. As a result, it is logical that more people with the opposing opinion felt strongly enough to respond. There may be lurkers who agree with you, but are too timid to express themselves publicly.

PPR is a place where people do feel free to disagree. If you have a topic you would like to be treated more gently, perhaps post in the Haven. Something like, I have xyz ideas and they seem to get a poor reception....perhaps others can relate to that and provide some ideas about getting your message across better. I'm not saying you didn't do it the first time...I have no idea what was posted or what the responses were. But if you are posting in PPR, people assume you are ready to take it.

I am sorry you feel lonely. Feeling lonely s**ks, even more so when you (editorially) are in a group of people who all seem to be friends and comfortable with each other. I spent much of my childhood and college years feeling very lonely. I have been part of many groups that were supposed to be inclusive, and still felt alone. Eventually I discovered that I really liked being alone and prefer it. I hope you find a connection that is meaningful to you.

The only way I relate to anyone autistic or not is online and that's it xD I've tried with offline autistics but I find that it never works out.

I met a young lady who was autistic but I didn't see a friendship going anywhere with her and I because she was in a group home and everyone knows how tight of a leash group home folks are. There was a young man that was friends with her who I ended up having to cut loose because he had a crush on me and I didn't wanna give him the wrong idea by befriending him. Another chick who was a bit more functional I couldn't really connect with either because we just didn't have anything in common.

Now online, the sky is the limit literally. I got one pal online who I've known for many years who's practically my best friend and he is also autistics. Then I found out another pal online who I knew for many years is also on the spectrum as well. Its very interesting how you never know who ends up being autistic or not but like anything else you just connect like magnets :p

Huh, I've never even noticed that. Interesting difference there...

Much ado about nothing.

Half of what you're saying are statements like this.

"I never get anything out of WP, never mind the fact that I never put anything IN to WP to earn getting anything out of it...boo friggin hoo.".

The other half are complaints about how shocked you were to learn that folks on WP are human beings who jockey for popularilty, and that we are attached to our opinons/beliefs, like any other group of humans online or off. STOP THE PRESSES! So you noticed that we aren't robots. Wow.
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Though that one thing is interesting. Didn't realize that you were the one who posted that thing about the Atomic Clock. That was in the "News and Current Events" subforum, as I recall. I was the one person who applauded you and the Atomic Scientists for moving the clock up. Everyone else on that thread ( including both left leaners and rightwingnuts) got all irrational, and went apeshit and threw monkey dung at you, and at the Atomic Science group. You DO have my sympathy about that chapter.

But I don't see how the PPR is "uniform" in beliefs. Seems very polarized to me.