Devastating Comment

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Sometimes I feel jealous of people who are obviously or visibly impaired because they don't have to constantly explain and justify their existence and they get help without having to fight tooth and nail for it and without the constant denial and having to prove why they need it. But I also understand and empathize with the struggle that you have Ezra and the struggles of people who are visibly obviously impaired. So it's kind of like we are all in this together. It's really nice that we can support each other.

(((Skibum)))

I'm sorry this happened to you.

Thank you so much

There is a saying or quote I've seen that I really like, that might apply to this thread: "If you've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism." Everyone is different. I wish more people would embrace difference. The world would be so boring if we were all the same!

That is definitely true. We are as diverse as any other demographic. I have not heard people with Down's Syndrome or Cerebral Palsey or Intellectual disabilities or anything get told, "I expect you do be able to do this or that because so and so with that issue does this or that," nor have I ever heard someone say, "How dare you insult me by saying you have Down's Syndrome because you can do more things than my kid who has it." Not once have I ever heard people say those things for other disabilities so I don't know why they think they can say them for Autism.

I'm sorry Skibum I would definitely have had a meltdown if someone said that to me! That's totally unacceptable, how dare she presume to understand your experiences after having only just met you! I just got the results of an adaptive functioning test I took with input to the therapist from my sister, and even though I have a nonverbal IQ of 94 and a verbal IQ of 134 which fall into the average and very superior ranges, respectively, I'm in the 1st percentile for communication, community use, functional academics (using the knowledge you have to do something productive), home living, health and safety, leisure, self-care, self-direction, social ability, and work ability, with an overall score of 65, which is more than 2 standard deviations below average. That just goes to show that a person can be intelligent and speak well, but that doesn't mean they don't have severe deficits that require a lot of support!

Big hugs friend, and well done for being able to stand up for yourself and not let that nasty woman keep you down or deny you services that you need!

I feel this too. My mom asked me if I was trying to get SSDI just so I could have an excuse to stay at home and play video games, and when I told my dad, he said, "well hopefully you'll be able to find a job you like really soon!" They don't understand the depth of my struggles and think I'm just being lazy and not trying hard enough. It's extremely frustrating, and has often made me wish that my disability were more severe or more visible, just so people would take it more seriously.

When I family does this, I hate it. And I can't find myself to tell them how I feel.

I just give non answers like Okay, I know, I understand, I'd like to.

They just don't understand, and if they do they don't care.

hey try to push me to something so I can help my family.

And I so desperately want to but know I can't.

I have MS, & I get people telling me all the time about so & so that they know can do this or that, so I must be able to as well. MS affects the neural pathways in your brain & spinal column. Every time there is damage, it affects something, even if I can't feel it, but it affects everyone differently. Even when the same area is being attacked, the results are never the same. I thoroughly hate it when people try to tell me what I should or shouldn't be able to do, based on their perception of someone else's MS. I can sympathize with you there.

MM, Welcome to Wrong Planet. i am so sorry you have MS. I know several people who have it and it is very brutal. Are you Autistic as well? That would be a tough double whammy. I apologize and I stand corrected. I had not heard other people say these kinds of things to people who had disabilities other than Autism so forgive me for what I said earlier. I guess we really are in familiar territory. I wish people would just have compassion and take us at our word and not argue our own experiences with us. It is so invalidating and so wrong on so many levels. I understand that there are people who malinger and fake and who try to take advantage of the system and of people's sympathies and who are genuinely lazy and not doing their best, but it's a real shame because those types of people make it so hard for the rest of us.

I have seen that these type of response fairly often online when Autistic people speak about autism or autism treatments.

Besides you are "too high functioning" common ones are "you do have real autism", "you are not autistic" and worst of all "Because you can write you have NO RIGHT" to opine about my "low functioning" child. Apparently freedom of speech applies to everybody with the exception of autistics commenting about autism.

You are so right about that! Sure feels that way sometimes.