Autism and rationalizing

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Simply put, do you believe that being on the spectrum and constantly being in your own head makes you susceptible to rationalizing behavior. For example, I spend so much time in my own head I've convinced myself I must be repressing gay sexual urges even though previously I identified very comfortably as asexual and have never wanted to have sex. That's just an example, my thought process went a little like this: I'm ace. *See's photo of pretty celebrity* wait am I not ace? Do I want to have sex? No, not ever. But is that because I don't like being touched or because I'm asexual? Am I gay? Have I been repressing gay attraction? *Thinks about if I have ever wanted to have sex with the same sex* I must be repressing! But I don't feel a need to have sex. And so on for weeks, just repeating the same thought processes until I tire myself into exhaustion.

Does anyone convince themselves of things that might not be true because of how we think? Rationalizing every single idea minutely until it fits with what you initially thought? Are people on the spectrum more susceptible to rationalizing themselves into unfounded conclusions? I really want some opinions on this since in the example I mentioned it's starting to become a problem and giving me a lot of uncertainty about whether I'm just making things difficult for myself by putting ideas into my own head.

Yep. I believe people are prone to this.

What do you feel when you see the picture of the celebrity?

One definition of “asexual” is the state of not wanting to have sex, but having sexual urges, nevertheless.

Maybe you’re “that type” of asexual.

Do you masturbate? Have you? Do you think of men when you do it?

Are you depressed? Could depression be lowering your labido making you think you are Asexual?

^ now you're doing it, too

I never see someone and think I'd like to have sex with them, regardless of gender. But I do get aroused I guess. It's kind of an indirect arousal, born from seeing a pretty person rather than what I think sexual attraction would feel like.

But yeah, I think I'm just rationalizing. It doesn't help that I have generu anxiety and so I feel like I need to be sure I'm asexual otherwise horrible things will happen.

THATS your problem.

Maybe.

Fear... of your own sexuality. So you repress it, but it keeps rearing its ugly head.

Just a thought.

Being "inside your own head" too much is really not a good state of affairs, because it means being cut off from reality. Rationalizing is merely one way you can go wrong. Creating complicated delusional systems is another. Failure to make achievable life goals is yet another. Any of these tendencies can be found in numerous mental illnesses.

Maybe. It probably also has to do with my generalized anxiety since it flares up pretty bad and when I'm coping with it better I usually don't have such unsure thoughts. What I meant by aroused is for example when I see softcore porn, which to my understanding some asexuals experience as well. I never get a desire to be an active participant but my anxiety sends me into a spiral of: wait? Is that repressing? Yes? No? What if it is? But I've never felt a need for sex. And then again: but wait, is that repressing? And so on and so forth for hours.

You know it kind of makes sense. I was physically ill yesterday so I had nothing to do except rest and think so my generalized anxiety had a lot to work with. It's hard to get out of my own head once I start. I'm not sure what you mean by creating complicated delusional systems? Could you give me an example.

But...why would sexual excitement spark your "general anxiety" unless you had some reason to have anxiety/fear of your sexuality?

But also..yes….it does sound like you get into thought loops. Kind of an obsessive compulsive sounding thing.

I'll try. So, you text something to someone and they don't reply. What you don't know is they had a car accident and are in the hospital for a couple weeks, not doing social media. But you assume they are just avoiding you or ignoring you. Each day that passes without a reply makes you angrier and angrier. You recognize that this feels just like when you broke up with a friend and then, trying to apologize, found that they never replied. (In that case, they probably really WERE avoiding you.) You notice that in both cases, the person you texted was Hispanic. Now you think that all Hispanics hate you and think you're awful. They might even know each other, and earlier friend is trash-talking you to more recent friend. It's a conspiracy. And so on and so forth.

There was nothing at all going on in the recent case, except an innocent reason someone might not answer your text, but you have convinced yourself that not only this friend, but also the earlier friend, and all others of their ethnic group, are out to get you. This was just an example.

It's not usually the sexual excitement that sparks those loops. It's the thought that I'm somehow repressing. That gives me panic. But I think I sort of get it a little bit now. I've been looking around some asexuality websites and came across a term that seems to explain what I'm going through. It's sort of like I experience arousal or fantasies but no desire to become a personal participant of sexual activities.

I do wonder if my lack of desire is influenced by my touch aversion, although generally I don't get "turned on" by people, more by ideas of sex. So once the possibility of sex presents itself I don't have any desire.

Meh, I think my worries were mostly my anxiety working it's magic and making me miserable. It gets really bad sometimes and those little issues become a giant mess. For example this morning I convinced myself my dad had died because I got a text from my mom asking me to call her. When no one picked up at home I remembered my dads hernia. And then I thought, "I know nothing about hernias, what if it was really bad and he died?" Queue me calling everyone, worried sick because I had convinced myself I was going to get a call telling me my dad had died. I wasn't able to calm myself down until my brother texted me that everyone was okay.

Who knows, I might be repressing I might not. But I'm touch averse so I have no desire to have sex, plus a low libido so once I look at it rationally it doesn't affect my life much what I think or don't think my sexuality is. For now I'll just say I don't know and try to keep my anxiety from making me question myself about something that doesn't define as big a part of my life as my anxiety makes me think.

Ah I get it now. I sometimes go through similar thought processes. Example: Starbucks barista makes a face I interpret as dislike. I order my regular order. Starbucks barista makes a face I interpret as mocking. Other Starbucks barista calls out my order and laughs (probably at something another barista said, but I take it as personal). I start thinking that everyone must think my order is ridiculous. I become embarrassed by my order and start to think everyone must secretly know that that order is lame. I then think there must be some guide to Starbucks and no one has told me so I make a stupid mistake. Then I conclude that all Starbucks baristas must talk to the customers except me and that's why everyone else knows not to order lame drinks. I conclude everyone hates me and don't visit a Starbucks for three months. I don't think I become "delusional" but I do make unfounded conclusions out of the most incomplete information.

Starbucks coffee is overpriced, anyway. Given a choice of where to get a coffee, I pick McDonald's every time.

I wish I could permanently give up Starbucks hehe but since it's the only place to get coffee where I'm at (there are no walking distance McDonald's and I don't drive) then I have to end up paying an overpriced amount for more ice than coffee

I probably rationalise a lot.