Do you worry about what other people think about you?

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ravXVl
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17 Jun 2018, 5:03 pm

It's sometimes said that people with autism/AS don't care as much what other people think of them. On the other hand, there's many people with AS/HFA who report having social anxiety, so I wanted to ask you all if and how much you care what other people think of you or how they're going to judge you. Have you ever found yourself getting hung up on worrying about other people's potential judgement and not doing something you wanna do as a result?

As for me, I don't think I have social anxiety as I don't have any of the typical characteristics of that but I sometimes do worry about how other people are going to judge me about certain things because I just don't like being made to feel like I'm weird or stupid and I do think that sometimes stops me from doing the things that I really want to do. I'm trying to change this however... Overall though, I still think I'm a lot better at having an own opinion and maintaining that than most people are.



Aja
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17 Jun 2018, 5:13 pm

I overall just have a large amount of anxiety in social situations, even more so when i am expected to relay something personal. I usually couldn't care less following said situation, but it takes me a fair amount of time to work up to it. (I normally can push past it unless I am stressed or overwhelmed.)


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Biskit69
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17 Jun 2018, 5:14 pm

I used to care about it a lot. I still kind of do, but a little less than I did.


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Exuvian
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17 Jun 2018, 5:27 pm

In school, I cared enough about it to let other people dictate how I wore my socks. After they shamed me for wearing the same clothes twice in a row, I made sure to create a rotation. Everything I said was "uncool", so I learned not to talk to anyone. The friends that accepted me were delinquents of the most juvenile type.

I wish I didn't care, but I just wanted to lay low until graduation without getting bothered every second.



HistoryGal
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17 Jun 2018, 6:07 pm

No. With that said I don't purposely offend anyone.



HistoryGal
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17 Jun 2018, 6:07 pm

No. With that said I don't purposely offend anyone.



Joe90
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17 Jun 2018, 6:07 pm

I care a LOT about what others think of me. Social approval is naturally important to me, but some Aspies don't understand this. This is where I can relate to NTs so well. Being ridiculed or judged by others actually hurts. It's like a social pain. There are some things I would never, ever have the guts to do in a million years, like going out exposing unshaved legs. Now, in the UK (and some other countries too), it is frowned upon for women to have unshaved legs. It's not a personal choice where nobody cares whether you shave your legs or not. It is for men, but not for women. So me going out exposing unshaved legs is the equivilent to a person with a fear of heights going skydiving. Absolutely terrifying. If I was to go out looking or acting socially unacceptable, I would be feeling everyone's thoughts about me and it would just make me feel embarrassed and ashamed, and no Aspie in the world can talk me out of caring what people think.


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glebel1
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17 Jun 2018, 6:32 pm

I don't care about what other people think about me. If they can't accept me for the person that I am, then that is their problem.


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nick007
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17 Jun 2018, 9:14 pm

I've always been too much in my own world to consider what others thought of me. I do have social anxiety thou & I do worry about doing or saying the wrong thing but I don't consider what people may be thinking. I worry about a confrontation or someone singling me out.


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Steaphany
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17 Jun 2018, 9:45 pm

It use to be a significant concern, but I have slowly built the confidence to just not care what people think. My NT ex was worse than me when I and my therapist concluded and diagnosed me as male to female transgender. The first words from my ex were "OMG, What will the neighbours think". Later, I learned from family that there was a "Something" going on when I was born and realized that I'm intersexed and the recipient of corrective surgery. So, this roller coaster has taught me to be myself and as I have always been a loner, I do not need the approval of people.


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Steaphany
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17 Jun 2018, 10:05 pm

I follow a number of fashion and clothing pages on twitter and this post from a seller of athletic wear was just on my feed:

"Don’t be afraid of being different. Be afraid of being like everyone else."

Sounds like good advice.


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Edna3362
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17 Jun 2018, 10:18 pm

No longer do I... :x Though I wish this is completely true.

I'm not worried about other else's opinions. It doesn't 'touch' me in a way. An advice, is an advice. An insult, is an insult. Or a sign is a sign -- I'd take it as I would see fit.
More like I worry that they just give a damn about what I said or did, and actually do something about it.


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Spooky_Mulder
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17 Jun 2018, 10:22 pm

Only some people. I’m really selective about who I deem as “worthy” of my time which I guess kinda makes me a narcissist? I just don’t like most people. With that said, I hate it when I’m made fun of and I don’t know why people are making fun of me. I also wish I didn’t have social anxiety around the people that I do like especially potential romantic partners.



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18 Jun 2018, 8:42 am

I care about what those closest to me think about me. I also care about dressing in a neat and professional manner at work.



Sandpiper
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18 Jun 2018, 12:30 pm

HistoryGal wrote:
No. With that said I don't purposely offend anyone.


What she said.


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18 Jun 2018, 12:42 pm

A bit. But then it's exhausting trying to keep up a front of normality so sometimes I don't.


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