Is it really a gift?

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in response to the original thread topic:

I believe it is a gift...with a caveat.

IF you can process it all and find application for the internal and external excess of data very very fast. THEN...yes, it's a gift. If you cannot....then you are in trouble. Unfortunately even for the quickest of us, there are good days and bad days. Me...I just live in a perpetual adrenaline rush. I am lucky in this it's personality. For me sensory overload registers as the onset of a thrill and since it is in my character to thrill-seek autism kind of locks in for me as a sort of built in supply of that allowing me to (1) always have that on tap and (2) not need to engage in dangerous behavior to get it.
BUT...when I am forced to slow down (almost always by the comfort levels of others) I begin to do badly rather quickly.

That is simular to what I struggle with...except I had no idea I might have aspergers, until I was like 23 and had already developed a mindset that I was just a huge f**k up that couldn't do anything useful. And the trouble is I do probably have taletnts, I just don't know what they are and have never held a job more than a few months...so I don't really know what job I can get to make a living.....college/former education seems pretty out of reach. So I sort of have a plan of just taking whatever part time job I can get....and volunteering in things I care about to gain more experience in those areas. Maybe then people can see what I am capable of even without the ability to calculate math...I really want to work with animals, help rehabilitate wild animals and such. But I almost think looking for volunteer opportunities would get me more hands on experience than traditional schooling. Or at least sooner so I could actually put it as job experience. I mean ever since I was like 7 I've cared very much about the environment, so it makes sense I should get involved more with helping the environment....just not sure how to make a living that way.

I feel the same way as OP.

Definitely not a gift.

Recently I quit my programming course at Tafe (college) because it was too hard. A few people would think that because I'm autistic, I shouldn't find programming to be all that difficult. I tried my hardest, I wanted to be good at it but I bombed.

I have to look at the good side that I achieved Certificate III in IT. That's something I suppose. But it certainly wasn't easy.

I've never been particularly good at anything. Nothing that sets me apart from others. No talents or skills.

It was no wonder that after I was diagnosed I got depressed and had to be hospitalised for three months. My family was not impressed.

Never mind, I'll continue on as I always have. My next goal is to find a job.

New here...

It's an absolute curse to me and everyday I wish for a quick, painless death (why can't drunk drivers find me?). I'm no atheist as I don't know (or care) if "God" is real, but if so I would love to meet and destroy whatever "God" is. I also hate my narcissistic baby-boomer parents and the greedy doctor(s) involved who conceived me in vitro because they couldn't have a child naturally. Yeah yeah, it was my parents who went against God, but still God could've stopped them. I know I sound angry but I'm actually not (anymore), however what I've said is the truth. I appreciate your post and wish you well.

Hell, people at AA will try to tell you that alcoholism is a gift because you get the opportunity to "heal" others. It's a load of horses**t.

I see it as a two sided coin. It is a blessing on one side and a curse on the other. But in order to see it as a gift, one needs to minimize many of the negative traits associated with Asperger's.