Normies and virgin-shaming

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Normies are sheep that follow the herd. People who choose conformity over reason. They don't give a second thought to what they are doing because they are insecure and they fear social rejection.

Aspies who are misanthropic about people might generalize that all neurotypicals are like this (being conformistic
sheep), but they are not the problem. The normies are the problem. Most normies are neurotypical but not all neurotypicals are normies. When I was in high school, only like 20% of neurotypicals bullied me in a class. The rest of them were indifferent towards how I behaved and weren't intolerant and prejudicial. Even with such a small percent of people bulling you, to some misanthropic aspies, it may seem like everybody is against them, which might lead to generalizing all neurotypicals. So that 20% are the ones most likely normies, because one of the strong reasons they bully you, is because you don't act like them, you're simply different and deserve to be bullied for being different. Being a lil' different is all what it takes. Is there a more intolerant and bigoted reason to bully than being a lil' different from others? And is there an easier excuse for bullying than virgin-shaming?

When a normie asked me whether I was a virgin. I would always say yes. Their reaction was predictable, they would belittle you, try to humiliate you and often say "you're really a 22 year old virgin?".

I don't know about you normie, but I am not ashamed of being a virgin. Nobody should be ashamed for being a virgin. You act like I should feel ashamed for being a virgin.

Your question reveals more about you than about me because you have fallen quite deep into the abyss of peer pressure. You feel like virginity is something to be rid off as soon as possible you fear that normie pals will start talking about behind your back on how you are still a virgin at 21, if you don't lose virginity. Compulsively you might have gone to the nearest brothel, just to lose your virginity and save your reputation in front of other like-minded normies.

Yes, I'm really a 22 year old virgin. I don't know why its hard for you to understand something simple as that.
You might say "lol, how are you still a virgin, everybody loses their virginity by the time they are 20". Your premise is invalid. Because you just assumed that everybody thinks like you do, you've just built a form of wishful thinking and a defense mechanism from the insecurities of virginity. You might also ignore the fact that some virgins lie that they are virgins due to fear of social stigma.

Do you measure the worth of human being by whether it has penetrated a vagina or not? If so, then you have a wrong value system. Are you saying that someone who had sex deserves more respect as a person than someone who hasn't?

Do you view women as commodities, something to be possessed like a car or a nice painting? Do you treat women as "hoes" rather than human beings like some materialistic rappers do?

Other delusional normie thinking:

- if you don't have facebook or any profile on social media you're a weirdo.
- if you don't drink beer, you're not a real man, because real men drink beer!
- if you never had a girlfriend, you must be gay.
- if you don't have a favorite song, band or don't prefer any particular music, you're weird.
- men and women can't be friends (so in your opinion women are just sex objects?)

People in our society sometimes have really stupid beliefs.

Virgin-shaming is just as bad as slut-shaming. Insecure people bully others for being virgins. Deep inside they were insecure too when they were virgins, if such people didn't lie that they lost virginity when they asked you "are you a virgin?". We should not tolerate such behavior.

There are a few pack leaders, who take the initiative to bully you; there's the far more numerous group of their followers, who will leave you alone in the absence of their leader, but will loyally join in the bullying once it's started, and then there's everyone else, who will usually avoid getting involved, since it's not their quarrel, and stick to the code of silence they know very well how dishonorable it is to break. I couldn't help making the generalization you're talking about, because the way I was brought up, I thought you actually had a duty to side with the wronged one against the bully. Therefore, indifference was just a thrifty way to be complicit with the bullying, which it patently is; only, I didn't know this complicity is actually expected and honorable.

I took many years to get this through my thick skull. Plenty of times did I try to defend someone I thought was being unfairly attacked, only to have both contenders put their differences aside and turn on me to teach me to mind my own beeswax. Self-respecting people don't want my help, because accepting it would be a sign of weakness—they're more interested in showing clearly they don't need it and putting me in my place for suggesting otherwise.



Strange. The closest I remember to that didn't happen to me at such a late age, but at fourteen, once, when I was new in my school and a few boys began to ask me things like how many bare p*****s I'd seen. I thought you were supposed to answer just by telling the truth, like very much any other question, so I did. After all, lying is wrong, isn't it? Of course, this probably encouraged them to keep asking more and more intimate questions, if there were anything possibly more intimate than that.

But ever since, noöne seemed to care one bit about my virginity or hypothetical lack thereof, till I met a few pretty nasty people at my current pseudo-job, in my mid thirties. Even they found out quickly enough that I'd never been anywhere close to losing my virginity and that this is unlikely to change, and they got bored with this topic.



I'm not ashamed of my virginity itself, but I am of many things that, as a side effect, made losing it even harder than it'd otherwise be. Having a rich and fulfilling sex life is usually a sign of general success and health, in addition to contributing to it.



Peer pressure notwithstanding, virginity is something you usually want to get rid of soonish rather than later for the simple reason that sex is desirable in and of itself, and possibly other aspects of your relationship with your sexual partner. Therefore, failure to lose your virginity is usually a sign that you can't achieve your goals; in other words, of weakness and that you're in the process of being weeded out of the gene pool. That's not the kind of individual others are interested in associating with, whether they understand it intellectually or not, so they instinctively avoid you at best, or else bully you.



That doesn't count in my book. Being unable to find a woman willing to have sex with me for pleasure or because she likes the intimacy with me is better than being unable to find a woman willing to have sex with me for those reasons and paying one to pretend she is.



Wrong as judged by whom? By definition, any value system different from yours is wrong to you. By definition, it's right to them. Therefore, the only meaningful thing here is that you have different value systems.



People who succeed usually get more respect than those who fail.



You see, the association of virginity with failure I detailed above doesn't require any sexism. But plenty of those guys are indeed sexist and proudly and openly show they regard women as possessions. What does this tell you about them? That they're so successful they can afford to treat women like s**t, because there'll always be plenty of women wanting to be with them anyway.



Drinking alcohol is sometimes a sign of independence, much like sex, because it shows noöne, like your parents, is anymore in a position to stop you from doing "adult" stuff.

Also, if you ask me, beer tastes pretty nasty, but real men are above wanting everything to be soft, sweet and nice, aren't they?



Depending on the social environment, calling you gay may be considered more respectful than calling you a failure as a living being, mayn't it?



I don't even know why sex and friendship are supposed to be mutually exclusive.



I think it's a bit more justified. As explained above, virgin shaming is usually a case of failure shaming, like fat shaming. Unless you have a good reason for staying a virgin, you can take the shaming as an incentive to develop a stronger will and begin succeeding in life as a whole.

Slut shaming is very different: it's not about pressuring women to be stronger, pursuing their own goals, but to surrender their bodies and ambitions to a man and strive only to please him. The only reason to condemn the elusive concept of sluttiness is that it makes for bad marketing when trying to find a male provider who wants to be sure of the paternity of his children by the only means available in the Stone Age. It's therefore an unacceptable restriction on the freedom of women who earn their own living and don't expect a man to keep them as property.



It's often said that bullies are insecure people, but I don't know any reason for this to be necessarily the case. It sounds like wishful thinking on the victim's part.

I think there's more virgin-shaming directed at men than women. A lot of people think that if you're a grown man and still a virgin, there's something wrong with you. But I don't think so.

I've never understood why being a virgin is something one should be embarrassed about. I refuse to feel ashamed for not having intercourse and risking my health purely to satisfy some bullsh*t social standard. If someones biggest achievement is the number of people they've penetrated OR been penetrated by, then I feel awfully sorry for them.

Usually this argument is met by the extremely intellectually sound rebuttal of; "lol you must be ugly". Which for most of us probably isn't the case, I've had more than enough offers in that department - I've just never felt the need to lose my virginity for the sake of losing my virginity, and I'm 23.

I made the mistake of hanging out with a group of virgin shamers when I started working at a factory 23 years ago. I told them that I wasn't interested in sex. Some loser guy said that I might also be ret*d. So if a person has never had sex and isn't interested is the R-word. How nice. I didn't talk to that guy ever again.

Normies?

I personally know people on the spectrum who bully others without mercy.
Are they normies too?

I watched a video of a middle school health teacher once and the reason that they said people who haven’t been in a relationship, are virgins, etc. are humiliated and looked down upon is merely a result of normies being jealous. They have already lost that part of them, and they envy the people with enough strength and willpower to not give in to temptation. As a result, these people make fun of you, belittle you, and try to do everything in their power to sort of fall into that trap so they can feel better about themselves.

In the same talk, the teacher also mentioned how you will never regret not making a bad decision. One isn’t going to look back later in life and say, “You know, I wish I had done more drugs when I was younger,” or “I wish I would have been in more short-term, shallow relationships with people just so I could lose my virginity.” Nobody says that. It is a great thing to be a non-conformist because when you look back to your past, you won’t always have these sorts of regrets about your life. You didn’t take the risk now to try and fit in or to get high, but that makes your decision pay off so much more in the future. Never be ashamed of that.

35 year old virgin here.

No f_cks given.

Unfortunately in this day and age virgin shaming is actually a thing ... More so for guys I would assume but even women engage in these type of behaviors. I had a chick low key patronize me for being a virgin still at 21 and I called her a whore and told her to go screw herself (:

This is a post I would find on 4chan

I have to admit that I didn't read all of the original post, but I agree with what I did read.

I lost my virginity several years ago and it's something that I now enormously regret. Saving the sexual act for that one special person must make it infinitely more satisfying.

You know that kind of reasoning can be used to justify depriving yourself of any particular experience, not just sex, don't you? Lemme try. ...

* I saw a landscape for the first time many years ago and it's something that I now enormously regret. Saving the act of seeing a landscape for that one special place must make it infinitely more satisfying.
* I read a book for the first time many years ago and it's something that I now enormously regret. Saving the act of reading for that one special work must make it infinitely more satisfying.
* I listened to music for the first time many years ago and it's something that I now enormously regret. Saving the act of listening for that one special piece must make it infinitely more satisfying.
* I travelled for the first time many years ago and it's something that I now enormously regret. Saving the act of travelling for that one special trip must make it infinitely more satisfying.
* I swam for the first time many years ago and it's something that I now enormously regret. Saving the act of swimming for that one special beach must make it infinitely more satisfying.
* I ate for the first time something not strictly needed to avoid starving to death many years ago and it's something that I now enormously regret. Saving the act of unnecessary eating for that one special dish must make it infinitely more satisfying.
* I scratched myself for the first time many years ago and it's something that I now enormously regret. Saving the act of scratching for that one special itch must make it infinitely more satisfying.

Again, I didn't read all of your post, but I think that you're making a comparison between two classes of things which aren't quite comparable.

The sexual act has enormous psychological significance for the human being; it has to be this way. It's also a rite of passage into adulthood, or used to be before it became a dull act of routine; rather like ordering a takeaway.

Okay, then I won't read any further of yours.

There's no need to compare apple to oranges. If one wants to wait for someone special what's wrong with that??? It doesn't have to be a means to justify "oh I'm gonna deprive myself of whatever because of this significance".

Classic NT bashing. This thread should be locked, imho, and asap.