aspergers and introversion: HOW MUCH alone time do you need?

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It depends on who I am with prior, but I like to get at least 2-3 hours a day of alone time. During the work day I take all my breaks alone, some in my car in silence because of stress. At home I spend about 3-4 hours alone. I may need more, but I am also an introvert in addition to AS. I also don't like to be away from my house for too long. I would rather spend a saturday night at home relaxing by myself sometimes. I hate to admit it but my girlfriend is a huge emotional drain and causes me to need a lot of alone time.

Personally the more alone time the better. I tolerate time with others but I am very easily distracted and if I am around someone else, I find it impossible to concentrate on anything. Most days I only interact with my mom perhaps a couple of hours a day, the rest of the time I spend in solitude in my "cave" as I call it. It is my office, ham shack, and repair bench. This is were I get to do what I want and spend many productive hours on repairs of radios, house hold items, etc. Or reading, studying whatever obsession I have currently. If I had a SO, perhaps I would probably spend less time in my cave but not looking for that. Been down that road 2x and both ended badly. Seems I didn't give enough attention and they didn't understand why I am the way I am. But I wasn't diagnosed till last year long after both had ended. All water under the bridge at this point.

I don't really care about how much alone time psychologists consider "healthy", everyone is different, and have different needs. Some people are perfectly happy being surrounded by people all the time and others would find that very difficult and it would be unhealthy for them. Myself I couldn't handle being constantly surrounded by a lot of people, I would have to go hide somewhere to get away from them (which is something I actually did sometimes during parties/family reunions, I would go walk outside for a while, and I would have left if it had been possible), also it quickly drains all my energy, I actually get tired physically, some people have even noticed how pale I get. I did enjoy hanging out with people once in a while tho, but they were couples my ex-husband and I had known for a few years and I was pretty comfortable them, so it was still draining but not as much.

Droppy, it's not always physical exhaustion people are talking about, I think, when they say that interaction exhausts them, although it can be physical.

Speaking for myself, when I say that socializing too much, interacting too much with people is "exhausting" to me, I primarily mean mentally and emotionally exhausting. I'm exhausted emotionally. To go into more detail as to how that affects me, well after too much interaction with people I feel more agitated, discombobulated, not calm, not relaxed, I feel kind of tense emotionally, the conversations tend to stay in my head, things that were said spin around in there and I second guess things they said, things I said, and I replay awkward moments that made me feel like I could have handled things better. My social awkwardness, which is stronger or weaker depending on the situation, the people and other factors, leaves me feeling like I just struggled and strained though something -- usually because I was trying to be socially "normal" in a way that, really, I am not.

This is emotionally and mentally exhausting, and this is what I, for one, mean when I use the word exhausting.

Exhaustion doesn't just refer to physical exhaustion. You can be exhausted in other ways -- look up a dictionary or thesaurus and you will see that it doesn't just refer to your body being tired.

Having said that, sometimes when I get emotionally exhausted I feel it as physical exhaustion too. The other day someone kept me talking for so long that my head started to spin, I felt weak and physically tired, and the stress of the situation affected both my emotions and my body.


Perhaps you never feel either type of exhaustion from social contact because maybe you are one of those people who have never felt the need to fake normalcy, or be anyone other than yourself. That is great, and I envy you. Because I have had to live my life being expected by everyone around me to "be normal" so much so that even I expect it of myself. I have had to try very hard to fit in because I have nobody and I need to make a living and in order to do that, I can't piss people off or come across as weird. Hence the striving to fit in when I DO have to deal with people. And the striving wears me out emotionally and physically.

STRESS is tiring.

.

I don't know how much time alone I really need. I am probably getting a lot more than I need, but on a work day I typically spend 16-18 hours of the day completely alone (including the hours I sleep), either at home or in my car. That's not counting time when I might be out shopping by myself, because I don't consider that to be alone time.

On my days off, if I don't go somewhere, I may spend the entire day at home by myself. If I spend the day with someone, by the time I get home I feel totally discombobulated, exhausted, and irritated, and I will most likely hole up the next day and avoid seeing or talking to anyone.

I am the same way, and I get pale too, I can feel all the color drain out of my face.



I get that too. Really for me, mental exhaustion almost always leads to physical exhaustion.

I need a whole lot of alone time. I have Asperger's and untreated ADHD. I think ritalin would help.
I am smart, especially in science. I forget things, and get distracted a lot.
Social interactions are draining even with people I enjoy.
The only people who understand are my close friends who also have Asperger's.

I need about 4 hours of alone time each day. I can go on the Internet watch TV and work on my art during that time.

The answer to what is a healthy amount of alone time is really up to you. If people always really drain you, then it would be healthy for you to spend a lot of time alone, and unhealthy for you to force yourself to be with people and stress yourself out. I've had family tell me I spend too much time alone, but they don't get it and I ignore. What is healthy for them as extroverts doesn't apply to me. Also, for me the amount of time depends on the situation. Work and expected routine with expected people, I don't need so much time. Birthday parties, gatherings of any kind, the mall, traveling, I need a lot of alone time before and after.

A lot more than is acceptable to most people.

I am very lucky that I have a wife who enjoys alone time too so I get to be on my own quite a bit. At work I use headphones to escape the noise which also helps somewhat.

I need it quite a bit, for example being social for more than two hours two days in a row causes a crash day when I really can't stand being around people, and talking is hard. I remember being the only one in a summer camp ( I was 14) who needed the go be completely alone, usually to draw or write, when others seemed to have endless energy to play games and socialize. Especially around people who I feel are judging me or in whose presence I have to pretend to be normal I get tired very very quickly.

With most people, averaging more than an hour a day spoils my sleep. I lack EQ, so the IQ has to laboriously review all conversations to finish the processing. However, there have been a few people with whom I can "be myself" and sense a mutual understanding. There is no particular limit for those. It has sometimes been a very limited relationship, only involving a shared task, but it can also be interpersonal.

I prefer to be alone all the time. Considering that they are a very few Aspies near my area and that I find NT's to be totally incompatible far as romantic relationships/friendships are concerned,I always prefer to be alone.