Big Question: How Do I 'Forget' My Past And Move On?

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Sometimes the thought enter my mind, about dating or making friends. It's a long shot, but hypothetically, if that were to happen. Sooner or later, they would want to know about me.

The problem is, I have nothing positive about me. I had a lot of things happen to me, and I have a lot going on. I'm frustrated in life, and very emotional. I struggle with mental health issues, as well of intrusive thoughts, rejection, ghosting and a large array stuff, as well as having odd triggers. The list goes on. ALl of these things plus ongoing issues has shaped me to who I am now.
It's very hard for me to be happy. I'm emotionally numb most of the time, other times I'm very emotional (HSP) and that is frustrating, because I like to feel like everyone else.
I don't know of anyone these days who would like to or rather willing to listen and understand my issues. I personally don't mind listening to others struggles, and would love to help anyway I can, unfortunately, most people aren't like that. If you have baggage, people are quick to reject. Because of my struggles, painful past, etc, I've become more negative and a mean-spirited person.

How can I forget what happened to me and my struggles so that move on?
I know it's not a simple question, and not a question that can be answered simply.

On a positive note, I'm not completely swallowed up by darkness.
I can still have times where I can laugh, be silly, joke around, try to make people laugh. I have an odd sense of humour. I'm a child at heart. I'm dorky and sometimes I like to be mischievous. I can still appreciate things at times. I try to understand people perspectives, and I try to get them to understand mine. I still look for ways to improve myself.

I ask myself the same question. The difference is that the theme of my past was keeping secrets from my family and putting on the British charade to hide my preference for Germany from my family for most of my life. I was also hiding the fast that I'm Trans. I regret not taking off that mask sooner and I also need to put my past behind.

I didn’t have such a great past.

I made a resolution at age 18 that I would start afresh.

I didn’t deny my past; I just decided to learn from it.

I’ve done pretty ok for almost 40 years now.

Be kind to yourself and do the best you can. I'm sure lots of people here will have been affected by things that were outside of their control.

A quote I heard somewhere
“Mental illness tries to keep people stuck in the past. The best thing a person with mental illness can do is move forward”.
One thing to keep in mind, even though what you’re going through is bad, EVERYONE is going through something, everyone has struggles in their life, & you are certainly not alone in how you feel. & no you’re not a bad person, just wanting to improve & wanting to help others puts you a step above a great many people.
I know it’s corny, but feel free to personal message me, I’m always open to new friends.

It may help to talk about your struggles here on wrong planet. people will understand here.

When i was in my twenties i noticed that any time i was feeling sad or depressed i would get sick with a bad cold and cough that would last a long time.
That's because mood affects the immune system.

So when i was feeling depressed or sad i tried to talk myself out of it because i was afraid of getting sick.
I would listen to music with lyrics that went like this:
'You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. you have a right to be here"

I 'd listen to it over and over and i started to feel better. I didn't get sad and depressed very often any more.
I don't know if it would work for you, but you may be able to talk yourself out of feeling sad.

The first thing would be to give yourself the benefit of the doubt.

You've had things happen, or what you can call life experiences. They help shape who you are today, but they don't define who you are.

You can't forget them and you don't really want to forget them, but you want them to not control you. If you find they are controlling you, set them free by talking about them, whether with a professional or someone who will listen but not judge. They don't have to say anything, just listen. Of course, only if you're comfortable with that person, as it makes it significantly more difficult if you're not comfortable with them and almost impossible if you don't trust them.

It's a matter of changing how you think and challenging those thoughts.

I'm a strong believer in CBT. It's not quick and it's not easy, but it's worth the work. I mean that in it's not difficult or complicated, but it often means discussions that can be uncomfortable or just plain hard to talk about.

Even talking here, in public or through private messages with someone who you feel you can trust (they also have to be willing).

You've brought it forward here, and being able to do that indicates that you can do it. So, really, it comes down to just talking.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive ... al_therapy

As a disclaimer: It's not easy, and it's not a cure, its effects are not permanent. You will still have tough times, but know that those won't last either, and the tough times become easier to manage.

First, you move on.

Then you forget.

My favorite thing that Denis Istomin (the tennis player who inspired my user name) said is, "Don't look back, only forward." It is a tough thing to do sometimes, but I try my best.

I've heard that PTSD symptoms often get a lot better once traumatic events are 15 years in the past.

Take it one day at a time, meaning to always be in the present and never think about your past.