What NT accepted behaviour flumoxes you the most?

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feeli0
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12 Sep 2018, 12:13 pm

I agree about not liking handshakes. If someone touches me and their hand skin is rough I feel repulsed. I have had my hand crushed by aggressive alpha males and that is awful. It does tell things about a person, mainly as to why I want to avoid them.

Also agree on the chit chat thing. And also the 'joking' people do in the work places which to me is just being mean. Like finding something about you that they can all laugh about. "Oh that feeli0, she always stacks her paper up like that lolol!"
Very annoying.


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fifasy
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12 Sep 2018, 12:42 pm

Dear_one wrote:
I have never seen people do that. Are you sure they are reacting to you? Do they behave differently if you watch a video of a train without being present?


I've seen people behave the same if I'm not on the train. They may not be reacting to me come to think of it, they might be suffering from inflammation, which though not classed as an illness or disability does lead to many, and is bothersome enough to make people tetchy.

Or are they making movements because of how I look? Am I scary, my body language and facial expressions appear inappropriate? I don't know.



Dear_one
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12 Sep 2018, 1:10 pm

^^ I think that most people prefer a seat by themselves. Experienced riders may subconsciously develop various mannerisms to ward off a large variety of seatmates.



fifasy
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12 Sep 2018, 1:21 pm

Fair enough, that's probably it. It's not so annoying when I understand why people are doing it.



B19
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12 Sep 2018, 8:59 pm

Office politics as practiced by NT's - particularly the narcissistic types - is accepted NT behaviour that has concerned me the most in adult life. (I include academia in office politics, there's no lack of the scourge there).

At school it was bullying that was their most worrying propensity vis a vis myself.



starcats
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12 Sep 2018, 9:13 pm

Cellphones on speaker all the time.

Politics. Lobbying, specifically. How is it an acceptable thing to take money and be bought off when you decided to have a job to represent people's best interests? Same idea also translated to work politics.



Noca
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12 Sep 2018, 9:30 pm

quite an extreme wrote:
You are wrong about not liking handshakes just because you never got the meaning of it. Base rule: Your handshake should always be firm, but not as firm that it hurts the other! Best is just as firm that it gives the other a little bit hold while you are doing it. This way a handshake expressed that you are self-confident but accept the other and that you expect of beeing accepted by him as well. It's quite a contract: You give him hold and he gives you hold and you want to stand together! Doing it not if another wants to do it expresses that you don't like the other at all and that you don't want to get along with him at all. Doing it weak expresses that you don't really care about the other. For this always try to do it in the right way!

Whether I shake someone's hand or not has nothing to do with how I feel about them. In particular cases like in a medical setting, not only is a handshake unnecessary and pointless, it is also counterproductive and acts as a conduit to transmit germs from one to another.



shortfatbalduglyman
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12 Sep 2018, 10:14 pm

Noca

Exactly

After class, the instructor offered a handshake

Since I had just washed my hands, wanted to refuse

But didn't want the instructor to misunderstand

So shook hands

Gross

There are just too many things that you pretty much have to touch every day, except in extreme circumstances

Train station, library computer, school



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13 Sep 2018, 7:49 am

The smartest doctor I know made sure his wife let their kid play in the dirt so he wouldn't develop allergies. Like it or not, you are covered in bacteria - there's a whole ecosystem living on your skin, and it is actually the first line of defence for your body - there's not much room for an invader, unless the field has just been sterilized, when it is like a fresh-plowed field inviting all weeds.
To keep healthy, we need moderation. Don't bathe in a sewer, but don't try to live in an isolation ward either. Always let your microbes meet a few strangers, to keep up their skills. BTW, if you pluck a cell at random from your body, there is only a 10% chance of finding human DNA. In detail, we mostly run by organizing a swamp to process our food, etc.



shortfatbalduglyman
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30 Sep 2018, 11:53 pm

How they act so dramatic, like everything is a soap opera

How much they talk about nothing

How loud they talk

Addicted to the phone

How some of them wisely chuckle after every couple of statements, even when nothing is funny

How they act like they are doing you a personal favor by complimenting you

How they say "would never" as if they have considered all situations

How they call dogs "he," and "she" instead of "it"

How they put so much emphasis on appearance and money

How they have an entitled lil attitude

How they drive cars like they are off to save the world



Dear_one
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01 Oct 2018, 4:05 am

shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
How they call dogs "he," and "she" instead of "it"


I do that too. It is well to know if there might be puppies or not. Sure, many dogs are neutered, but no matter how eccentric people are sexually, they probably won't like being called "it."



MatchooW
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01 Oct 2018, 5:56 am

shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
How they call dogs "he," and "she" instead of "it"


I call them he or she because (a) They have gender, so it's accurate and (b) because they're sentient beings and referring to an animal as an 'it' like he or she is an unfeeling object sends the wrong message to anyone who thinks otherwise. Calling a puppy an it before it's gender is confirmed is fine. Same with human babies.

But calling your car or boat a she is weird.



Dear_one
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01 Oct 2018, 6:12 am

MatchooW wrote:
shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
How they call dogs "he," and "she" instead of "it"


I call them he or she because (a) They have gender, so it's accurate and (b) because they're sentient beings and referring to an animal as an 'it' like he or she is an unfeeling object sends the wrong message to anyone who thinks otherwise. Calling a puppy an it before it's gender is confirmed is fine. Same with human babies.

But calling your car or boat a she is weird.


In school, I was quite unhappy with having to remember the gender of nouns in the Romance languages. I really wish someone had pointed out that in high-noise situations, having gender agreement within a sentence gives you nearly twice the chance of guessing the garbled words correctly.
Anthropomorphizing vehicles can seem odd, but it helps many people treat them with respect. People do all sorts of things that are not strictly functional, but help us focus better by co-opting other skills. There was only one top golfer who stopped thinking about his swing at the bottom. Others plan a follow-through, because it helps the middle bit be accurate. Other athletes have many odd "body english" habits, to the point that cyclists have completely forgotten the small steering motions they actually perform, and declared that they turn by leaning, as if force of will alone caused that. Musicians dance as they play, even though it makes accuracy much more complex for pianists, because the muscles have such useful memories.



shortfatbalduglyman
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01 Oct 2018, 8:41 am

How some of them act like they have a moral right to get whatever makes them happy immediately

Entitled arrogant lil simpletons

Simple-minded

How they act like they have never done anything wrong before and they are the latest greatest thing since sliced bread

How they comment on your clothes and facial expressions and gait ("walk funny"), when they just have to walk past you

How some of them call themselves "most people" in order to get themselves more authority

How they ask questions that are none of their business

How they treat anger as tabboo

How they make snap judgments about moral character (saying someone is a "good person" when they barely even met)

How they make a hugefuck scene when they think you are wrong (factually incorrect or morally wrong) , and then when it turns out that they were wrong, their attitude is like :roll: whatever :jester:


How they solicit me for drugs, cigarettes,


How they act so excited and energetic

How they refuse to :heart: pick your battles :jester:



ezbzbfcg2
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01 Oct 2018, 1:51 pm

Dear_one wrote:
MatchooW wrote:
shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
How they call dogs "he," and "she" instead of "it"


I call them he or she because (a) They have gender, so it's accurate and (b) because they're sentient beings and referring to an animal as an 'it' like he or she is an unfeeling object sends the wrong message to anyone who thinks otherwise. Calling a puppy an it before it's gender is confirmed is fine. Same with human babies.

But calling your car or boat a she is weird.


In school, I was quite unhappy with having to remember the gender of nouns in the Romance languages. I really wish someone had pointed out that in high-noise situations, having gender agreement within a sentence gives you nearly twice the chance of guessing the garbled words correctly.
Anthropomorphizing vehicles can seem odd, but it helps many people treat them with respect. People do all sorts of things that are not strictly functional, but help us focus better by co-opting other skills. There was only one top golfer who stopped thinking about his swing at the bottom. Others plan a follow-through, because it helps the middle bit be accurate. Other athletes have many odd "body english" habits, to the point that cyclists have completely forgotten the small steering motions they actually perform, and declared that they turn by leaning, as if force of will alone caused that. Musicians dance as they play, even though it makes accuracy much more complex for pianists, because the muscles have such useful memories.


Interestingly, and off-topic, the English language is already fairly gender-neutral to begin with, which makes it interesting when people get upset over the relatively few gender-specific nouns and occasional adjectives we do use in English. Imagine speaking one of those languages where inanimate objects have genders, and all adjectives change slightly if discussing a man vs. a woman (and get pluralized and change again when discussing men vs. women, plural). We already have it pretty gender-neutral in English. This linguistic gender topic is merely one facet of an argument that supposes a person's native language (both it's limitations and its uniqueness) ultimately effects how the person thinks and perceives the world. I wonder if there is a variance for Aspies vs. NTs who speak the same language, but it's an interesting topic regardless.



Dear_one
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01 Oct 2018, 2:04 pm

While we are here, I don't know that this is at all NT - specific, but to me, the biggest hair-puller is when people treat gender issues like racial issues. Adoption can change just about anything except skin colour, and sexual orientation. "Racial characteristics" are highly malleable, but people of all stripes insist on their own gender definition to match their genes as well as they can manage. The genders can't be equal the way races can, because they are built to be symbiotic - the real "separate but equal" halves for a productive partnership.