People reading their own intentions into your words

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Recently I've been fascinated by the tendency of people to read their own intentions into my words. I am the type of person who will call the sky blue if it's blue (as a replacement phrase for something factual and possibly completely obvious). I can't comprehend how perhaps the subtle nuances of it could insinuate fifty other different things which might insinuate other things some of which someone might take an affront to. If the sky is blue, it's blue, right? There's no judgement, just fact, but other people insist there is. They insist there are motivations there that simply aren't, even in the face of me clearly spelling it out for them.

It is very interesting how people seem project how they would act onto other people's actions and place their personal motivations on the other person rather than just taking their words at face value.

An example would be if I said, "Hey, can you please not do that? It makes me uncomfortable." The person hearing it might hear those words but, if they are the type of person who would load that statement with unspoken malice if they said it, might translate the request and statement as, "She is rude and pushy and thinks I'm a b***h" and then act as though those were my thoughts and my motivations rather than just taking it as a polite request to prevent discomfort. I've found that tone and nuance of voice don't necessarily affect this, depending on the person. People who behave in very judgmental ways seem to do this the most. It makes it very hard for me to understand how to prevent this misreading of neutral statements as loaded ones.

Anyone have any advice or experiences to share?

I have had that experience for sure.

I'd say something general and unrelated, and the other person would make a whole story out of it in their mind.

Usually people who would make up this story out of my words, approached me with anger...
It's actually quite sad, because I've always considered myself as someone who is generously open to compromise and rational discussion.. and they simply *assumed* that this was not the case.

It often led to being misunderstood, being approached with anger, labels, etc...
And it's scary, coz if someone often labels you as something, it can affect your self image.

Oh well...

you know, people who do this are in my experience usually not very good listeners.
Any good listener would not simply assume things, but ask you questions.

Best wishes!

Ugh this is something that has confused and frustrated me my whole life. Many of my family members read into my words like this, and my attempts to explain that I actually mean what I said and said what I mean (and nothing else) usually hurt more than help. People take offense and I'm left not knowing what to do except apologize that they felt hurt. My apology MIGHT soften their angry reactions, but to me it always seems a little illogical to apologize when they're the one who wrongly assumed I was attacking them personally. Also it doesn't help at all with what I was initially trying to communicate. Like in the example mentioned in the original post, if I ask them to stop _____ and they get offended, I apologize and maybe they calm down... but they still don't get the message that I actually really truly just want them to stop doing _____. Or maybe they did understand but just keep doing it anyway? Then what?

Also, I've noticed that with the same people who assume my intentions, I will sometimes do the same to them. It's like because I don't trust them and fear being manipulated again, I'll disbelieve things they say and go into fight or flight and say things like "You always say that but you don't really mean it" and then I'll realize how hypocritical that is to assume that that didn't mean what they said. It's like I try to beat them at their game but I don't even understand it. Why.

Does anyone else do this or is it just me? If you have experienced it, have you found an effective solution? I guess I have more questions than solutions to this discussion.

Unlike aspies, many people can get through life believing that their mind is like all others. If dullards can't understand science, they assume that actual smart folk are just faking it too. There are whole cohorts of people who don't believe that humans can forgive. We are broadly divided into those who think of society as cooperative vs those who think competition is the highest good. The second group is only able to continue by plundering the first, but that does not change their minds about how to behave, because it works for them. My ex would regularly dream up ways that people might take advantage of her, and then feel justified in "striking back." Countries do that too.