NT's misinterpreting your intent

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I guess this is a vague topic, but I feel like it took almost 30 years for me to understand socializing at all. In the past couple years, i've made leaps and bounds. I guess before that, I was totally oblivious as to when I was staring at people or just being "weird" (in their opinion). It might have been further delayed because my old group of friends and I basically drank all the time, and I'm quite sure that impedes learning. I guess I'm rambling. But my whole life, people have misinterpreted things I've said. When I was in grammar school, I was obsessed with building things, especially with erector sets and legos and k-nex. And people thought I was being a show off. I've gotten accused of that in recent years with my artwork. As I got older, men seemed to always misinterpret my intention. Which was a shame, because I had a really hard time making female friends, because we rarely had anything in common. So i tried to bond with guys, but most of the time they just wanted to hookup or whatever. So life felt lonely. It still does, in a lot of ways. But I have alot of memories of male coworkers and professors hitting on me, and being extremely creepy, and their justification was always "You were staring at me" (like I started it). But alot of times, I can only focus at meetings or at lectures if I pick a random point and stare at it. And I think even if I'm staring at a wall, people might think I'm looking at them. It just makes me feel neurotic, because I get accused of staring even when I'm not, and I was so bad at eye contact for years, that I was accused of staring on dates and when I was out with people in general. I guess its left me feeling a little anxious and paranoid. I think I sort of run a timer in my head now, so I don't hold stares too long. But I see this as improvement because I never used to be able to look at people at all when we were conversing.
Is any of this relateable?

I feel, in many cases when people don't like it when you show how good you are at something, people become envious and jealous. This sort of thing happened with me, too.

As one gets older, one gets better at "holding back," so to speak. Not showing off one's knowledge. Listening to other people.

I believe one should show one's positive sides, though----while allowing others to show their positive sides, too.

I don't believe that people with ability in one area should assume they have abilities in all areas. In other words, it's best to be humble, and to not assume people are inferior to you automatically. I'm talking in general; I'm not thinking that you believe you are superior to others.

It's just something to watch out for. Don't lay everything out for others to see, so to speak. Only show your abilities when it is relevant.

You've made some interesting points. Its weird, mostly I'm pretty quiet. But people don't seem to like that either, haha. Most bosses and coworkers comment on it constantly, like its a bad thing. Like, WHY DON'T YOU TALK MORE!
But yes, I've been trying to be more relevant with my conversations, and not just blab about how I accomplished this or that or what not. It is a struggle.

I fear this post may have been misinterpreted, too. Oh well. Communication is weird

There's nothing wrong with what you said. People do this all the time. They want you to talk more. That's because some people fear "quiet" people because they feel they might be "hiding something." It's sort of a subconscious thing.

Why do you feel I misinterpreted your post?

I think you're all right. I really do.

Oh, I was just worried that I came off pompous or something.
If I only talk when I have something relevant to say, then I am pretty much going to be silent 98% of the time.
It is weird that being quiet is thought of as sneaky or like there's some bad intent there. But really I'm just daydreaming alot

I should have phrased this better.

It doesn't have to be "relevant."

But it should have some connection with what the other people are talking about.

gotcha. I hope I haven't offended you. I appreciate the reply

I don't get offended over every little thing.

What I'm saying---is that you're probably okay.

I bet you're a college graduate!

People might misinterpret your intent. It happens. We all learn from our experiences.

But this does not mean that any of us have any disorder or defect, or any neurological difference.

Richard

I've had people misinterpret me a lot. There was one time that I was working doing grounds maintenance at a location that had a bunch of parking lots together. There was a guy who was trying to make a move on me. I told him that I will be friends with him but that's it. He tried to charm me for weeks after I told him that. I finally told him that I have a boyfriend just to get him off of my back. I didn't really have a boyfriend. One time he asked me why I had 43 year old as a boyfriend because He was 38 and closer to me in age. I felt like saying, "Because he's not a creep." but I bit my tongue.

I was accused of staring at people a lot as a kid. I would just zone-out & daydream partly due to AD[H]D & probably stress & I would get accused of staring cuz my head was facing someone. I also have a rare low vision disorder & I sometimes don't look at things directly maybe partly cuz of that. I kind of look out the side of my eyes sometimes & my eyes happen to be pointed at someone even thou I'm not looking at them. New teachers used to call on me a lot at the beginning of the skewl year because I didn't look like I was paying attention since I was not looking at them. They soon realized i was listening even if I didn't look like I was. Just cuz my head &/or eyes look like I'm not looking or looking at something else, does NOT mean I am.
I never been accused of thinking I was better than anyone because I do NOT have any of the special talents/skills/strengths that us Aspies are supposed to have & the average NT is better at me with most things. I just s#ck when compared to most people around my own age.

I don't have any real "special talents," either. Though I'm pretty good with trivial facts.

Usually, when people accuse you of "staring," it means they want to start some sort of fight with you.

I would ignore these people.