Anyone hate it when people tell you how you feel

Post Reply New Topic

Yes they usually say that because it's not something that is of the norm. I get that but it's still not right to assume I'm like everyone else.
One example I'm willing to share is my stance on allopathic medicine. I know that it causes me problems and I've gotten people implying I'm making it up or my favorite they say it's a coincidence. Just because it didn't bother you doesn't mean it didn't bother me.
It hasn't happened lately but it has steered me away from sharing things I feel because I know I'll just get people not understanding.

Usually they are just pretending to "care" how you feel

This is an email of what I said to my mental health doctor about my family telling me how to feel:
Here's what I said:

I don't like it when people tell me how I feel: When I tell my mom I'm confused, and when she says I'm not that angers me. Also when she says the postal strike doesn't effect me, it actually does.

When I tell my sister I'm upset, and she says I'm not again that angers me.

Here's what my mental health doctor said:

It is understandable that you feel frustrated when people tell you how to feel or Not feel. Can you express that in a calm manner: “please don’t tell me how to feel.” Would be an example. I do not think you have schizophrenia, but understand that you are worried about that.


What do you all think of what she said?

Instead of saying "you got mad", they should say what they did wrong

They act like they are perfect and have a moral right to veto anything you do just because "I don't like"

Which leaves little option left besides anger

I hate it when people trivialise phobias and anxieties, like they say "your irrational fear isn't real, get over it". That is actually insulting. A know a girl who is petrified of moths, and I love moths, I could walk through a thousand moths and the only thing I would be afraid of is if I stepped on one and hurt or killed it. But I wouldn't criticise the girl for being afraid of moths, because she must see moths the same way I see spiders; absolutely terrifying. I respect other people's fears and anxieties.

A former precious lil ", friend" had the nerve to as me "why are you not happy?"

What the flying f**k?

There are five emotions and "happy" is just one of them

She acted so innocent, like she was on my side

But she was just cross examining me

Of course. It definitely happens to me sometimes. But then I’ve seen and heard people without Aspergers in a similar position. So I’m not sure if this is limited to those with autism.

I hate it when I tell someone that I'm unhappy about something and they tell me, "You should not be feeling this way."

My mom does this, which is why I never open up to her about anything on my mind.

I really hate it when people try to tell me how I feel. I know what I'm feeling. I'm not stupid.

No one has exactly told me how I feel. However plenty of people will decide how I feel or what I think and then make decisions and judgements based on that without consulting me. Frankly it makes me want to set their hair on fire.

I honestly don't know if that is better or worse than having no consideration put to how I might feel about something.

Sometimes it's just a misunderstanding:
Husband: And now you are angry at me!
Me: I'm not angry, I'm overwhelmed and need to be alone.

Sometimes it's plain emotional abuse of projection, negation and devaluation.

Probably there is some continuum between those two.

Wow! This REALLY grinds my gears. Even if I don’t know how I feel, don’t tell me you know because you bloody damn well don’t! Needed to get that out.

To be fair though, I’m rubbish at knowing how someone else feels. I automatically (masking) go for a standard statement when someone tells me how they feel. I just can’t put myself in their shoes unless I’ve experienced something akin.

My mask and the true me are like walking contradictions and having only recently discovered this, am now working on not reaching for the mask so much, in particular with people close to me. But it’s so hard when I’ve developed it to the point of being automatic. People pleasing, copying and developing my listening skills to fit in.

Yeah, I really hate that. >.< I am not so good at putting it into rules so I need to process things. But some people assume and say how they think I'm feeling as if it's fact.

Like "She feeling tired." A few months ago, someone said that I was feeling anxious being away from my mom for so long which was not true at all. I was upset, but about other things. I'm a legal adult, and people just shouldn't say that.

There was someone who stated that I'm not hungry as if it was fact. I know, that I had a snack, but there are times when that doesn't quite satisfy my hunger.