What do you think it takes to be happy?

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Every individual possesses at least one strength that will be of benefit in service to other people...even if they find it impossible to understand others' needs/ weaknesses that they might help out with.

It's extremely likely, almost impossible to be likely to be untrue to the point of near infinity, that every single person born into the world has at least one super-strength relative to the remainder of the population which, if they can identify it and find an outlet in the external world of the other earthling's located within their physical vicinity: they will be able to be of tremendous benefit to others as they leverage that particular strength or set of strengths.

Even in the one in a million or whatever case where someone is born deaf, dumb, blind literally and metaphorically (e.g. without the ability to decipher the needs of others and cater to that need via some given, innate strength): that individual will, at a minimum, serve as the target of service from others (therefore, ironically, by being the recipient of service themselves, is actually giving the opportunity for others to give service).

Perhaps the best place to start with, in terms of love/ service is loving oneself and serving oneself. Might be thought of as selfish...but one has to start somewhere.

I think this is one of the best, most humane and sensible posts I've read on this forum, although I disagree with the penultimate paragraph. Please tell me/us more about your experiences.

I think the Rat_Park(look it up on Wikipedia) tell you the basics of being happiness.

Now we get to the more advance topics of happiness.
The Wholly Marines have a thing called 'Seva' which is a service which is performed without any expectation of result or award for performing it.

This is the key to Imago Relationship Therapy as explained in Harville Hendrix's Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples

If you do some deed that doesn't benefit you in order for some result you end up like George R. Price


I know that you don't make the distinction between children and young adults so won't understand my displeasure with your calling a young adult a child but non-autistic children are eager to please people, adult are still willing to please their in group if it doesn't inconvenience them is asked.

Which brings up another point, as shown in the Fraggle Rock episode "The Preachification of Convincing John" doing what you think will benefit others doesn't work ether.



It's easy to get into the realm of selflessness without a religious basis, it just hard to stay there without getting one.

Which is a little strange as it's no more mystical than economics, money only has value if you don't ask what's is worth, I guess greed is just more profane than love.

You don't need religion, as defined by F.Max Muller in Natural Religion, but Spirituality as defined by Sam Harris in Waking Up. And then there is always scientists since you know it actually works there is evidence for it.

You have a pretty perverse idea of 'Fulfilled living' is you think that it is common. But then again you belong to the group that believe that the savages where better off spending 90% of the waking life on base survival and just one day a week on spiritual matters than 4 hours a day on base survival and most of their time on spiritual betterment.

A positive attitude really helps with my happiness. Another thing is not giving a rats ass about what people think about my unusual clothes or head wear.

For me it's having a girlfriend that I'm living with instead of being trapped with my parents. Having her in a good mood is also kinda required too. Another thing that makes me happy is having lower standards.

Not having much expectations and being self-sufficient!

Pets
An active, well-rounded life, a balance between the mental and the physical aspects of life
Fulfilling work (I am thinking of doing something in a helping profession, whether paid or volunteer work of some sort)

I always need to change who I am. I have a marked tendency to assholery, which is sometimes quite overwhelming.

"You are all perfect, just as you are...and you can all use a little improvement."
Shunryu Suzuki roshi

Healthy cynicism, optimism, and healthy challenges. Reaching consensus, and friendships with like minded people.

In general, accepting reality. You don't choose your gifts, but can choose to develop them. Accept loss.

We are responsible for ourselves, but so much of ourselves and our lives is beyond our control. Fighting reality and what you really are will make you miserable.

For me it means being content with my life as it is. Having a que sara sera attitude.
And knowing that while I have some significant disabilities things could be a lot worse. Enjoying what I do have and can do opposed to being unhappy over what I don't have and can't do.

In a word: Gratitude.