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Do any of y'all worry about if people will treat you differently if they figure out you are on the Autism spectrum, like baby you or act like you need help with everything? I'm worried about it in relation to talking to the girl I like and her friends figuring out i am on the spectrum, they will tell her and any chance of anything happening will be gone, judging from their social standing/popularity.

I do not think the average NT can figure out that you are on the spectrum unless you tell them. They may think you are strange and weird but may not understand that is spectrum related.

When I was growing up, I was extremely shy and rarely asked a girl out. But dating is one of those skills that you have to learn the hard way and rejection is quite common. So one needs to set aside shyness and ask many different girls for dates and learn from these experiences.

I didn't know I was on the spectrum until a few years ago, so the friends I'd made in the decades before that, obviously I didn't tell. I've told a few of them since, but I've not noticed it make any difference for good or ill. Often I just wing it because I'm used to winging it, and anyway I don't expect it to particularly help in most cases. I've been told I hide it well, which I guess means that I've been fairly successful in tempering the aspects of my autism that cause the most trouble with friendships.

They said they knew, and it "made sense. it was honestly incredibly insulting as if they were talking down to me

They said it made sense as if i was a freak, it really pissed me off

Most people can tell there's something off about me already and I've had people treat me differently without even telling them.

I mean personally Id be more worried they'd treat you badly than just baby you...

Of the two people Ive ever told, one person denied it, ignored it, and then awkwardly ignored me for a week before she got over it and wanted to hang out saying "You're not really autistic cause you're not that freaky weird. I wouldnt hang with someone mental" (not really sure if that was a compliment or an insult...) and the other girl immediately looked up all the symptoms and sighed in relief that I 'Wasnt that super freaky so I guess we can still hang out". I these were teenage girls, but they seemed very worried I would affect their image.

Well, some DO act like as if i was an immature baby and talk differently to me when the hear i have Aspergers.

But when they do that i sort of look at them like Stewie from Family guy with half closed eyes and a demeaning look on my face as if they are idiots. Then they change back quickly...

I used to worry about how people would treat me if they knew I was autistic and was afraid that people might find out somehow. And I used to get treated badly, even bullied, back when I was a kid, but autism was not in the public awareness back then. However over the years I've had so much practice interacting with people that they may once in awhile think I'm odd, but noone (except therapists) have ever shown they are aware I have ASD - mostly I've been told I come across as quiet and thoughtful as well as caring and kind-spirited. I've told some people about my autism and they all seem to forget about it - I've never had anyone treat me differently because of it. I actually wish people would understand that it means I can sometimes use help in social situations or that I might say no to certain activities that would overwhelm me and that it doesn't mean I'm rejecting them personally. But the people I've told are adults near my age and aren't in social competition or so driven by popularity or membership in cliques, and a number are at my church where social rejection isn't an issue, so my situation may be a little different. Always acting as if I were NT can be a serious problem in its own right however...

I've had people pick up rather quickly that I'm autistic because I have trouble looking at them, not as a sign of disrespect, it's just that eye contact has always been very nerve racking for me.

As far as telling people that I'm autistic, I don't do it very often, it's rare if I do it at all because I do fear how they might react. Rejection is something I've been struggling with my entire life on how to take it better.

I was treated very poorly by someone once because they found out through someone else that I was autistic, it even went as far as physical beatings.

When I was 21, a classmate told me that he read a book about autism and recognized it in himself and me

When I was 31, the former aikido instructors wife told me that he said I was autistic. His website said he is autistic

I am 35 and diagnosed officially 21

By far the most common response when I told someone I was autistic "you don't look autistic"

Some people treat me like I am intellectually challenged


"Life" goes on

Sometimes it is natural, involuntary, subconscious or necessary to make assumptions

Sometimes it does not matter if the assumption is wrong

Intellectual challenges are not a choice or felony


Please do not think about it too hard