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dtodd0191
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20 Jan 2019, 4:05 pm

I've spent my whole life blissfully unaware of my ASD. 2 years ago I took the Asperger's test on Channel 4's embarrassing bodies website fully expecting to get a negative result.

It suggested that it was very likely I was autistic and my mind was truly blown.

I found out it was the AQ50 so I found that and retook it to get a score and ended up with high 40s. This led me to intensively research ASD, Asperger's and my whole life became clear.

I find it hard to believe how bad my self awareness was.

I asked for a diagnosis as I was starting to get bad panic attacks and anxiety and was constantly exhausted and was about to go to the docs about this when I made the above realisation.

Et voila, I'm here now more self aware than ever before and now understand that the anxiety and exhaustion were the result of faking neurotypical behaviour daily in my busy office. Now my long term partner understands my need for "me time" to recharge and we're much happier now.


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Lost_dragon
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21 Jan 2019, 5:38 am

lostproperty wrote:
I got diagnosed with agoraphobia in my early 20s but I knew it wasn't that, I'd seen a couple of things relating to autism on TV around that time, I remember Oliver Sachs presented one of them, but I didn't believe I was *that* extreme and I'd also begun self-medicating which helped me, so I didn't pursue it. My ex-wife eventually persuaded me to get a diagnosis thinking I'd get help when she decided to leave me.


On a slightly related note, I had a relative with agorophobia. It was quite severe, she wouldn't leave the house and got quite sick. Whereas another relative of mine showed compulsive behaviour to the point where it actually put them in danger. Anxiety and obsessive tendencies seem to run in my family. Which makes sense considering that I used to be selectively mute when I was quite young, which has been linked to naturally higher rates of anxiousness. Not saying that excuses my more neurotic tendencies, but it could in part explain them. I remember reading up on selective mutism, apparently selectively mute children often have a good or sometimes more sensitive hearing, but have a tendency to do poorly at auditory filtering. Due to this lack of filter, their hearing is cluttered with sounds which can be overwhelming and confusing.

It's understandable that boys with selective mutism are more likely to be misdiagnosed with autism than their female counterparts. The symptoms are similar, but present themselves for different reasons which is why a misdiagnosis often leads to ineffective treatment.

dtodd0191 wrote:
I've spent my whole life blissfully unaware of my ASD. 2 years ago I took the Asperger's test on Channel 4's embarrassing bodies website fully expecting to get a negative result.

It suggested that it was very likely I was autistic and my mind was truly blown.

I found out it was the AQ50 so I found that and retook it to get a score and ended up with high 40s. This led me to intensively research ASD, Asperger's and my whole life became clear.

I find it hard to believe how bad my self awareness was.

I asked for a diagnosis as I was starting to get bad panic attacks and anxiety and was constantly exhausted and was about to go to the docs about this when I made the above realisation.

Et voila, I'm here now more self aware than ever before and now understand that the anxiety and exhaustion were the result of faking neurotypical behaviour daily in my busy office. Now my long term partner understands my need for "me time" to recharge and we're much happier now.


Just in case anyone was curious about this quiz, it appears that it has now been taken down. However, I do remember taking this test along with a few others on that mind checker section which no longer seems to exist. I took the autism one with a few friends so that we could compare our scores to pass the time. My result was "Higher autistic traits than the average person, but below the diagnostic threshold" which is what I typically score on such quizzes. Usually I get not autistic but only just, or borderline.

For my friends (let's call them Friend A and Friend B) they got different results. Friend A scored fairly low, and got the result "Autism unlikely" whereas Friend B scored higher than Friend A but lower than me with "High end of an average score range for neurotypical participants". They both looked at my score bar across the top and asked me what on Earth my answers were. I thought that we would've ended up with more similar scores, so I was surprised with the end result. Friend A had initially predicted that she would score the highest stating that "If any of us is autistic, it's probably me, I'm fairly bad with people".

Regarding the other tests, I got a low indication of ADHD, mild possibility of dyslexia, and a very high chance of OCD. Not entirely surprised, I almost always score high on OCD quizzes. Usually in the mild but bordering moderate category. But I've also had people tell me that what I describe sounds more like general anxiety, but others have been insistent that it's OCD. In fact, I once had an online therapist try to refer me to an OCD specialist because they thought that either GAD or OCD was the explanation.

Online therapy did not go how I thought it would. I was expecting "Here are a few tips to help you deal better with your phobias" rather than "Have you considered OCD? GAD? ASD?" woah calm down for a moment. Let me sit down first. :lol: I thought that the therapy would go much slower, and that they would subtly ask questions to cross out possibilities without mentioning it to me unless there was enough of a basis to share that speculation.

But instead it felt as though I'd say one thing that could ever so slightly possibly be a symptom of something and they'd jump on it immediately, sharing their speculations and then giving me a bunch of information.

I came in to a session one time with the intention of getting advice on how to stay calm in crowded areas, and at the end I had a .PDF file about anxiety in ASD individuals with the message "I just added this one on because we covered autism briefly in our session and I thought it might be of interest, although I'm sure you've researched this plenty enough already!" W-wait what? 8O But why? I mean, what did I even say to give the impression that I'd done my research? Are you calling me a nerd? :lol: What even? I wasn't even the one to bring up autism, she did.


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Knofskia
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24 Jan 2019, 12:39 am

I was suffering from, ignoring, and exacerbating what I now know was an autistic burnout. I was oblivious to my difficulties with socializing, so I did not notice that change. But I did notice my sensory hypersensitivity and my executive functioning worsen dramatically. It caused my career to continuously backslide until I could no longer do any work. And it caused my ability to do activities of daily living to also backslide from living on my own to sharing the burden of chores to being dependent on others.

I started researching sensory issues. First, I found Highly Sensitive Person and thought that fit. After more research, it did not seem to explain everything, so I did more research. Then, I found Sensory Processing Disorder and that fit better. So, I started researching therapies.

Frustratingly, even the home remedies were withheld from the internet, so I went to see a therapist just to teach them to me. But I wrongly thought that just any therapist would do. My appointments with the first therapist were not very helpful; at best, the appointments simply offered me a set time in my schedule to do more self-reflection. And the "diagnosis", which was not based on any testing or scientific rigor and was created simply for billing purposes, was also not very accurate. After I realized that the therapist was not going to treat my sensory issues, or at the very least properly test and diagnose me so that someone else could treat my sensory issues, I left.

I finally searched for someone to do comprehensive neuropsychological testing - figuring that if I started from the beginning, I could finally get therapy - which diagnosed me with autism.

* Funny side note: while I was not even considering autism at the time, while researching, I did notice that Sensory Processing Disorder was sometime a comorbidity with autism. A friend of my sister mocked me for mentioning it, saying I could not possibly have autism, and recommended I read some book about a real autistic child. But after reading the book, I related more to autism than I had after reading any of the books on autism from a diagnostic perspective. And then I end up actually being confirmed as autistic.


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renaeden
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24 Jan 2019, 4:01 am

So many interesting posts here. Everyone has differing stories.

After a stay in hospital for depression when I was 26, I was made to see a community psychologist every week. We were to work on strategies to help alleviate my depressive thoughts. This was going all well and good for some time until one day I walked into her office/therapy room, sat down and saw a book on the low table open at a page with the heading of Asperger's Syndrome. I read a little bit and said that it looked interesting. She replied that some of it fit me in her opinion and she wanted to refer me to her colleague and friend who specialised in autism. I was curious; what was autism? I had never heard of it.

So about a month later I saw this colleague who was a psychologist who specialised in autism. She asked me if I would like to go through the diagnostic process. I agreed and so I had two appointments filled with testing. A key aspect was that the psychologist called my mum on the phone and interviewed her. My mum knew she was getting the call but not what it was about. She later told me she felt terribly guilty for not picking the symptoms in me earlier. But she couldn't have known, I said to her later. Autism wasn't well-known in our neck of the woods. I was just seen as "different".

The psychologist (who was thorough, lovely and one of the best psychologists I've ever seen) concluded I was autistic and sent me to a psychiatrist to confirm it. He was pretty nice and wrote a great letter to my GP about my being autistic.

So that's what happened. I think I had it easy, I think. The only thing was all the waiting in between appointments.



StarThrower
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25 Jan 2019, 7:16 am

My diagnosis couldn't have been more unexpected and random . I follow a popular forum about wooden boats and there is a section of the forum called ' the Bilge ' . Anything goes in the Bilge and needless to say , not everyone agrees , especially about politics . One tactic that is often used in these so-called debates is to urge others to take online tests and post the results to the forum . These tests are usually about personality disorders and substance abuse and are used to discredit those who disagree with you . Well , during one of these ' discussions' , the OP urged everyone to take an Aspergers test , which I did . To my great surprise , I did very well on the test as I scored in the ' you probably should get this checked out range' , which I did . I received my diagnosis in March of '18 , at the age of 64 and couldn't have been more surprised / pissed , but that is another story .



ZombieBrideXD
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25 Jan 2019, 11:25 am

in my case a diagnoses was never saught out but i was arrested after a meltdown when i was 14 and they gave me some assessments and found that i had Asperger's.


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nick007
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25 Jan 2019, 10:30 pm

My mom told me she believed I was on the spectrum after I graduated high-skewl. I looked it up alittle but didn't dwell on it much at the time. I had a mental breakdown at 20 over my 1st relationship falling apart & because my parents were on my back alot about me not working thou I was putting in apps at most any place I could get to & think of for anything I thought I might could do. My psychiatrist told me in my 1st appointment that she thought I was on the spectrum. After a few appointments I tried to get officially diagnosed because me & my parents were hoping I could qualify for services.


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01 Feb 2019, 11:14 pm

I knew I wanted a diagnosis the minute my mother told me she thought I had Asperger's when I was eighteen. I always knew there was something different about me, and wanted to know what it was. I had a huge stack of books on my bookshelf about introversion, high sensitivity and shyness, but none of those things really explained the whole picture.

I had to wait three years for an assessment because I couldn't afford it, but I finally got in to see someone through my university's masters in psychology program, and was diagnosed with ASD level 1. It was the best thing I've ever done for myself, and has opened doors to so many services that I really need but never had access to before.

I'm getting re-assessed in a few months' time because based on my reading, I feel like ASD level 2 fits my experiences better, and I want to know for sure.


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Diagnosed with ASD level 1 on the 10th of April, 2014
Rediagnosed with ASD level 2 on the 4th of May, 2019
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Ilikemusic
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01 Feb 2019, 11:41 pm

My parents seeked out a diagnosis because I started talking late and I didnt respond to my name. I also hated touch and I would stare at the fan for hours at a time or the washing machine. I would also flap my hands and rock. I was 3 when I was diagnosed. I asked my parents what lead to them getting me a diagnosis.


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qwerwe
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02 Feb 2019, 5:31 am

I've been thinking about it since childhood what is wrong with me. I ordered a psychiatrist, because I had problems with my boss at work. I could not talk to my boss during the evaluation interview.

The result of psychological examination was "probably Aspergers". After two years of waiting finally I have date of assessment this month. I'm in one waiting list for two years, in second for half year and yesterday I've been ordering elsewhere where I'll be waiting for only a month. Even it will not cost as much as I expected.


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02 Feb 2019, 7:12 pm

My parents sought one for me.


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kraftiekortie
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02 Feb 2019, 7:47 pm

I was diagnosed at age 3. I was taken for many examinations to rule out deafness, epilepsy, mental retardation, etc.

I was destructive and did not talk. I seemed oblivious to the world. I vomited constantly. My parents didn’t know what to do with me.

It was plainly obvious that there was something wrong with me.



KingExplosionMurder
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04 Feb 2019, 11:43 am

I had started to do more in depth research on autism presentation in girls (and as i went more in depth, specifically outgoing personality types on the spectrum) and it just hit me. My dad had actually brought up to me a little after i came to the realization saying that he thought i was on the spectrum. Him and my sister agreed, and in august we started the process of trying to find a referral, and finally, we are going to schedule and appointment for an assessment.

1. I was able to piece it together after a while because I realized autistic doesn't equal quiet, it means not understanding how social cues work in general. So for me that manifests in saying too much, giving unwanted input, not knowing when to be serious and not realizing other people's feelings and boundaries. So i was described as weird and annoying growing up.

2. At that time, my sensory systems were on overdrive from years of trying to repress my traits. My sensory issues had gotten a lot worse and the repression caused me to regress, making it more noticeable along with becoming more reserved over the years.

3. I was diagnosed with social anxiety, and it never felt completely right, because even when I wasn't anxious social settings are difficult. The anxiety developed from bullying, and I always had trouble with my peers.

And finally, I had such a lack of knowledge and all of these preconceptions about autism beforehand. So much so that I didn't realize that I could be on the spectrum myself.