Anyone here hate compliments?

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I am uncomfortable with compliments.

I guess it's nice, I just don't really like the focus to be on me.

When someone makes a compliment, they act like you have to say "thank you"

Criticism, and they act like you have to apologize and fix it to their satisfaction

Either way, they act like their stupidass opinion is the most important thing in the dumbfuck solar system

Compliments embarrass me ( at least that's what I think I'm feeling )

Compliments are usually useless at best and insulting at worse

"I like your shirt", but I did not sew it

What is so great about when you like something. And what is so bad about when you do not like something?


An aikido classmate told me that I improved a lot

What the flying f**k? He wasn't the instructor. He wasn't even an instructor

Some white belt dipshit boy

I like compliments overall but it all depends on who, where, why and what. There are times when I don't like it in the slightest.

I just start laughing even though I don't think it's funny. That's just my response when I don't quite know what to do. So I don't like being complimented either.

In fact, I also feel terrible at such moments

Not always, and I wouldn't say hate,but I do avoid having any noticeable hairstyle changes or wearing glasses because I don't want to look different to how I was and having people compliment, especially guys because usually guys are less tactful than women (not all guys, but some of the guys I work with are). I think I'd just get embarrassed turning up somewhere with a new appearance. Maybe it's a lack of confidence thing, even though I know that having a change of appearance would probably boost my confidence. You know what I mean?

I like compliments, but don't know how to take them. I feel like people are lying to me just to make me feel better about something, and I'm worried that they think the opposite of what they've told me.

yes and no....i dont like people forming unrealistic expectations of me.

I don't really hate compliments. It is more that I do not know what to do with them or what I should say.

A compliment puts me on an "On the spot" position that I was not ready to deal with, so I have not had time to process how I should make my reply in this unexpected situation, so I am more likely not to reply, because I have not worked out how to in an appropiate way.

It can be similar to someone telling me off when I did not expect it when they demand a reply and I am speechless because I did not expect it and I don't know how to reply, as I have not had time to think about it to process it.

Oh. I get that in regards to the trust part, though I have never had anyone say I had beautiful eyelashes or lips before! Hahahahaha!

But I do tend to miss hints, so instead of thinking as my Mother points out, where the person may expect a compliment back, I am likely to stand there and not reply while I try and work out what the situation requires, and I often don't reply because it can take me months of processing it and everything that happened before it to try and work out if the compliment is genuine or if it is someone who wants something.

If I can see that I have just helped someone with something and they immediately say how good I am at what I did, I will know that they liked what I did so it makes sense. However, some people will say this because they want more help, and this does not work for me because they did not directly ask so I have not done more, and they get frustrated and I get very confused and feel bad... Where I feel I have done something wrong but I do not know what I have done wrong... Because to me I have just done a good thing. (I hate these mind games and I avoid the people rather then be in those difficult situations. I have an elderly neighbour who works by the hint system, and I reached a point where I could not help her because I was getting multiple partial shutdowns and I was shutting down at the thought of helping her because her ways are all by hinting, where I just don't get hints... So I will be in her bad books when I am trying to help her. I can no longer help her as I get so many shutdown issues. She is a nice lady but I just don't seem to communicate on the same level as she does.
Sadly at the moment she is in hospital. I want her to be well. She is a nice lady. I would really miss her if she dies as I know she cares about me and I care about her. I have known her since I was a child. Her husband passed away six days after my Dad passed away. I hope she is back to normal even if it means I will be in her bad books again (Hehe). As I like her really despite the different communications...

It is like she is part of my life and if she dies I will have that missing so the familiar will no longer be there?
It is wierd. I want to relocate, but at the same time I want this area to remain familiar so when I come back it is how I expect it to be?

I have different responses (hate/irritation, etc., levels?) depending on my subjective intensity state:
1) When out of conversation but intensely "thinking!" a complement to start a conversation irritates me terribly. Actually anything said to me when I'm in that solo focused state does it.
2) When in conversation and intensely engaged in it, a complememt irritates even more, "Why did they go off topic for no reason?
3) In a usual conversation, not intense or interesting: just the usual confusion and "Why don't they explain more, what they want or what they are doing?!"
4) It's very terrible when I detect (poorly and late of course!) that there's a mutual complementing storm going on and I missed it. Those storms are dangerous!!

I don't mind two or three approving words by someone who knows that I've done something good, difficult, clever, etc.

I am uncomfortable if the complement is too wordy, or too exuberant, or disproportionate to what I did, or coming from someone who doesn't know what they are talking about.

In 2019 (before my diagnosis) my bride and I went to a convention. We are both members of the organization--I've been a member much longer than my bride has but she has been much more involved and visible than me. At the convention someone I did not know came up to repeatedly complement me. It sounded like she was making empty complements, not really knowing anything about me other than who I was married to. I kept deflecting her complements and steering them towards my bride. The gal got irritated and finally just exclaimed "OK. So you're a jerk?" I cheerfully agreed to that--especially because it got her to go away.

With hindsight, I remember that I have face-blindness. But I'm still pretty sure she is not someone I've spent much time with.

When I got my diagnosis the Psychologist asked me whether I liked complements. I told her about that incident and clarified "I don't mind people saying nice things about me behind my back, but I'd prefer they not do it to my face!"