Annoyed and frustrated when being asked 'got girlfriend yet?

Post Reply New Topic

I find it frustratingly annoying when some people like my dad and stepmum and work colleagues ask me 'when are you going to get a girlfriend?' and telling me how to use a dating site and what to say and do on it and it feels quite patronising but I appreciate they are trying to help, and it makes me feel I will never find somebody because it feels like I'm more interested in my books and stuff. Let's face it if I don't like going clubbing or something like that then there is no chance. And no one will come to my front door to want to be my girlfriend. I've gone on meetup but the clubs and things in my area are not what I want to do like just talking about one specific book and some are miles away.

Have you considered just asking them to not pry on this part of your life? If not, then the chances that they don't know they're doing something wrong are rather high.

Of course, you can always answer the guestion "when are you gonna get a girlfriend?" with one of your own, like "when are you going to learn some manners?" It's rude to pry in to people's personal business too much after all. Of course, this could get you in trouble with those people, so do think it over before saying it.
Another option is just to say "no" when someone asks you if you have a girlfriend and just leave it at that. Change the subject right after before they can pry more; they should get the hint after a few times.

My relatives ask about my relationship status sometimes too, and since I'm known as a picky woman among them anyway, I use that to my advantage and answer with "I haven't found a man good enough yet." And it's kinda true since while I meet interesting men from time to time, they don't usually get interested in me. A man with no interest in me is not a good match for me, so therefore he's not good enough, no?

Why don't you tell THEM what you've just told us.

My parents used to bug me about it, but they eventually stopped.

I believe that I described it to them as if they were rubbing salt into a wound.

Next time someone asks, tell them that when you get a date , you will tell them.

In the meantime, tell them not to keep asking

I used to till v recently pester my brother (the one who is one yr younger thn me) ‘why dont u go dating??’ ‘Why dont u go clubbing??’
N variations of that

It was entirely wrong n cruel but I did not realize

When i dod realize i still kept doing it every now n then till i realized
It was just me showing concern n feeling worried about my brother


I also intended it a a compliment eg I thought he will make a great boy friend n husband.
Im thinkinv this is the case hee too


Instead of wishing internally that he gets a girlfriend i was spewing it nhuring n annoying him
But he did not say anything
Then when he directly told me I apologized b said what shd i say instead?
He said u can ask me how my day went but dont say ‘when will u get a gielfriebd’ or ‘i wish u wd go clubbing n gwt a girlfriend’ etc


So now i had to train myself to redirect my concern
N verbalize it a different way

Im guessing the sane thing will worl fr u
If u tell them they r passive aggressively hurting n annoying u n say clearly lkke my brorher did
‘please stop’ n dont respond

N instead tell them what they CaN say


So they know how to formulate their caring n concern

Noone has ever asked me that question but I have a lot of disabilities so people shouldn't be that surprised I would struggle majorly to find a girlfriend. If I was asked that question I'd answer by going, When Will You Set Me Up With One?. I desperately wanted a girlfriend but struggled majorly to get one & never even got so much as a date so I would of LOVED to have been set up.

"Nope"

"Haven't found the right one"

"No, I'm perfectly content as I am"

and, of course, "None of your damn business"

You're under no obligation to have a significant other and there is no shame in not having one. So, take your time. Use a dating site, go the library, join a club, etc, etc., but don't let those people bother you about it.

Well, its all about perspectives. Some people are comfortable being alone whereas some are scared to death by the very thought of being alone. It's a subjective matter but the decision lies completely on you.it's all about perspective and there is nothing good or bad about being single. Some people are quite comfortable.

Turn it around on them. Ask them if they have divorced their wife or husband, or broken up yet. Why? Oh, I think you would be happier alone. When they object, end it with, well I just want you to be happy.

If you want to let them know you were pretending, you can say See? Doesn't feel very good, does it?

They should leave you alone after that.

Might not work if you already told them being alone makes you miserable. But works great if you are asexual!