Do I worry about what other people think of me ?

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I seem I feel like I don't conform to what society expects of you when you are 29. I seem to think I haven't achieved a lot so far and feel like other people finish university at 22 or 23 and achieve their goals they've aspired to do whereas I didn't as I never graduated and I feel in someway of not having done that, didn't have a paid until I was 26, working as a retail sales assistant and not someone doing something I have aspired to be. I feel like social media feeds me these thoughts and I'm thinking right now why don't we all get rid of facebook, twitter and other social media platforms and just have emails and phone numbers. I feel like everyone now like me worries about what other people think of them, whenever someone says something online it seems to offend everybody and alienate them people and it does annoy me when some people feel they have the right to say offensive and horrible things that will upset and hurt people without the worry about them being monitored and reported to the police because we live in a great society with freedom of speech and say whatever they like. It does make me quite angry at times.

Are you asking us for our opinions?

Most likely, you do worry about what other people think of you.

I didn't do many of things at the "proper ages," either.

I got my drivers license at age 37.

I got my bachelor's degree when I was 45.

I got my first car of my own when I was 51.


When I was in my 20s, I lived on my own. But I didn't have a TV, and my bed was a mattress on the floor.

I had a little trouble following your post, but if I understand correctly, what you're getting at is that you feel bad about not having done or achieved things in the same timeframe as would be traditionally expected?

I'm struggling with that too. I have my bachelor's degree, but my executive functioning and emotional regulation skills are too poor for me to as yet successfully hold down a job, so now I'm receiving support while I look for something "menial" that I can do, like shelving books at a library or feeding animals at an animal shelter, work that is well below my education and intelligence level, but which still stretches the limits of my daily functioning abilities. I didn't get my driver's license until I was 21, and watched my little sister get hers two weeks later at 16. She's working part-time and going to school all while living independently (I worked through school but still lived at home while I did it), and by 18, she had been promoted to shift manager at the job I got fired from when I was 19.

It's been a struggle to not see myself as a failure in comparison to everyone else, while I watch all my high school classmates get masters degrees, get married, buy houses and have kids, but my therapists are teaching me that I get to decide the value and meaning of my own life, that I don't have to follow the beaten path and check off "milestone" boxes to measure my success. If you can find something that makes you happy and brings meaning to your life, all the other stuff doesn't matter. The only one who can determine whether you're successful in life is you.

Answering literally, it definitely sounds like you worry about what other people think of you. I think social media has broadened the audience for our sharing of life events and accomplishments and the lack of non-verbal cues in communicating these increases the likelihood that such sharing will lead to alienation and offense. NTs engage in competition for status in the social hierarchy, so an innocent sharing of a milestone or achievement can come across as a put-down or as shaming by comparing to others' achievements. Sharing a frustration at not achieving a milestone can even seem like self-pity when it's actually reaching out for others' perspective or suggestions. NTs seem to deal with this sort of thing instinctively but they still anger each other, get into online flame-wars and the like. If you're autistic, like I am, such reactions can be scary and unexpected and can lead to feeling excluded or unwanted, especially if it happens on social media where being ganged up on can seem like wholesale social rejection - like an online Lord of the Flies incident I'm super-careful of posting anything or commenting on anything on social media and that takes a lot more energy than I'm usually willing to invest. To some extent I'm the same way on WrongPlanet, but on WP I can feel that I have some experience or hope to offer a poster and that overcomes my reluctance to risk making a bad impression.

Okay, you didn't take the hint.

What I'm trying to say is that if you have to ask other people for their opinions about you, then you do worry about what other people think of you.

QED

What question are you asking?

The title is one question, but the OP asks a different question.

The title question is nonsensical. We cant tell you what it is that YOU worry about it. You tell us.

But in your opening post you ask if we should "get rid of social media?", and go back to phone and email.

You might be right that social media feeds into rancor in society. I haven't done facebook for a long time. I don't miss it much. But I may rejoin it.

But in the old days when they didn't even have e mail and just landline phones folks got worried about comparing themselves to others. In fact they did that pretty much since the beginning of time.

Those were the days, my friend.

I still don't have a tv, but that is by choice, not by necessity.

That was a great song from 1968: "Those were the days, my friend....we thought they'd never end....." By Mary Hopkins.

It had an early jazz-ragtime sort of rhythm. I think there was a banjo in it, too.

Yes, that's why I said it. I was hoping you would catch it.

Do you? Probably.

Should you? "Other people" is a very broad category, so the answer will wary depending of which specific people you're talking about.

Everyone worries what other people think of them or otherwise people wouldn't keep their behavior in check and they would be doing anything they wanted to do not caring if it will cost them their job or make them be alienated or have the cops called on them.

There is such thing as worrying too much what people think of them which is why some people have social anxiety.

Yes, I do. Besides being neural-atypical, I am technically a dwarf (little person) and a target for bullies even in my adult years. I was criticized for the last ten years by a girl at work for how i dress, how i smile, what kind of make-up I wear, the music I listen to, what movies I watch, books I read, where I live, that I have no kids, etc. etc. etc. She turned everyone on staff against me. My bosses didn't care until my therapist phoned them as she recognized this as workplace bullying. I could have sued, but i couldn't afford a lawyer. And I just suffered. The narcissistic psychopathic co-worker eventually left and found another job, as did many of her flunkies, but things didn't improve for me until we got new management. I actually am taken seriously and respected now. I still won't go to many public places as I can't predict if anyone will harass me for my size and different "personality".