Being A Responsible Adult

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I just had a meltdown. I have sooooo much to do, I have to find a primary doctor, an eye doctor, I need to get a new bed, I need to call the foot specialist at the doctor office where I went for my ankle, I need to call the cable company to pick up their cable box & router, I need to transfer money from one account to another account. I also need to go out & do stuff, I cannot go out, cuz of my foot. I also afraid I damage both my feet when I broke my ankle last year & I had to put all my weight on my other leg. I wish Aspergers people can handle stuff like life, stress & being under pressure. When I had my meltdown, I was having acid reflux, I felt like my throat was on fire, I had an anxiety attack, I was crying so much & I threw up. Why is it if I have a GREAT relationship, he understands me so much & he is very patience & treat me so good, he makes me Sooo Happy, happier than I been in over a decade. Why I said I want to die?

Awww, that's a lot going on! I hope you didnt mean it. Stress and anxiety can play nasty games! You can do it! Make a list and start checking it off! Dont be afraid to let someone know if you need help, but it sounds like you got this!

I'd say just make a list and keep going down the list, but I'd probably just sit in front of the computer and do Brainscape.

I am pretty sure this is related to why we can't hold down a job. It's overwhelming being an adult in society. You're right, life sucks. But just take a moment to breathe and get out into nature, take a walk, and think of a plan while you're walking. While your body is moving, energy flows through it, so you end up coming to conclusions that you never would have thought of before. This works for me, at least.

(((Kitty)))

Kitty, I have a lot of meltdowns. I just had one a couple days ago. And sometimes you say things you don't mean in them, be it saying you wish someone would die to saying you want to die. It's an extreme state, and it causes extreme emotions.

Give yourself time to recover even if that means putting off what you need to do, let yourself go at a pace you can manage.

As a few others have said - make a To-Do list and check the items off one at a time when you have accomplished them. There is a great sense of joy that will come over you when you draw a line through an accomplished task.

My daughter sometimes has meltdowns. She can't handle much executive function, she not only has autism but a brain injury history. I help her out sometimes. Slowly we are getting a better handle on how I can be helpful to her. She has a hard time going and buying groceries. So I take her with me when I shop and that gets her task done. She has let her dental care slide because of difficulties with the provider, so I now take her to my dentist and pay her dental bill, all she has to do is show up and I usually drive her so she can pre-medicate.

Now I also have trouble managing my own affairs, but I avoid meltdowns by just recognizing my internal state and zoning out if things are heading in that direction. Sometimes I will make a to-do list for the following day. That way organizing my activities is all I have to do the first day, and carrying them out happens the next day. It seems like less of a challenge that way.

I find it effective to bunch or batch similar activities. Like doing all my phone calls one morning. Paying my bills one afternoon. Filing papers a different time. But I don't want you to get the idea that things are going smoothly around here. They just aren't. Doing what needs to be done feels like a never-ending treadmill. What helps me is also making sure I do some enjoyable things, otherwise life would be too depressing and difficult. I think a lot of people who have trouble with mental health issues have stopped planning to have enjoyable things in their routines.

I hope you are feeling better by the time you read this.

^
Very wise, you seem to be such a well-balanced person, Bea!

Thank you Bender, but I repeat: "I don't want you to think things are running smoothly around here!" It's just that I have learned some tricks or "life hacks" about managing myself and my affairs. I share when I think someone might benefit from what I have learned.

^
Yeah, I know, but sometimes I get this feeling that just not being a complete mess or being able to handle enough things in a reasonable manner is a great victory if you know what I mean...

I throw a party when I've paid my half of rent....well, a weed and alcohol party between my boyfriend and I, but you know! I reward myself for small accomplishments, even the most minute. I think it's pretty cool that I've stayed in one job for six months straight without losing my mind! CHEERS TO THAT! And I am able to sustain the lives of six ferrets! They are cute, cumbersome little fuzzy long nuggets of love! https://imgur.com/a/k6MioNR

I bought my daughter the "I adulted!" calendar (with stickers - for adults) ... was not sure if she would be insulted by it, but she loved it!



P.S. Amazon lists that at $35 but I paid half of that at Barnes and Noble last fall.