Officially NOT Autistic

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It's not like Alex asks for documented proof of an autism diagnosis....

Dan, Sir, you are welcome as a full-fledged member of the Site.

I think many folks on WP still don't feel comfortable with an NT lurking around. Frankly I don't blame them...NTs are usually the source of their anxiety in the real world.

I think a lot of NT people come across confident in person but may often have lots of inner turmoil in their minds. Mental illness (depression and anxiety) is actually quite widespread and it often takes a small incident to send people over the edge. So this balancing act you are talking about is not just restricted to people on the spectrum (although I don't pretend to know if it's comparable to NT problems).

Alex didn't but I did have a few who asked me for proof

Sure of course on the balancing front, we are the same species, lol, the source of the difficulties will/can differ though, my point being that masking makes it harder to be well... emotionally psychologically, though really on a holistic level, all areas of wellbeing are negatively affected by masking.

Its needed for survival I know, if we operated closer to a social model of disability the environment wouldn't require us to compensate in a potentially harmful way for our natural way of being.

On the few members disliking NT front, yeah fair point it's still there but for me it's much improved, I think its dangerous to rationalise away hatefulness even if it could be justifiable.

As an undiagnosed member I did experience the 'othering' you mention.

Not a fan.

Seen and experienced enough of that in real life, had to be put to bed. Left an impression on me... Im not ok with Autistics excluding bewildered autistic undiagnosed adults on a support site, it seemed again like an attempt to kill this facility while causing actual harm to people who could relate to the autistic way of being.

(B19 and many others done a lot to make this a friendlier place for those adults in the self diagnosed category. I do miss her presence)

Slightly ranty but the balancing act for borderline and undiagnosed adults needs recognition in a proper context and also I really can't stand for othering, and justifications for undermining another's natural way of being sickens me, it feels too much like discrimination against our own.

I think it's important to have a "live and let live" attitude and not take negativity personally. Yeah I get how it can be telling folks here you might be "undiagnosed" and getting somewhat toxic reactions from some.

Just remember everyone has problems they are dealing with ranging from relatively small to significant.

Where possible I try and help out giving advice based on my own experiences...

Agreed

thanks Kraftie and everyone else. One thing I would say about being NT or not being NT, the trick part is that huge grey area of, well, not even knowing. I still can't see myself as being neurotypical and a diagnosis of a lifelong generalised anxiety disorder kind of validates the feeling that I've always been different. One of the reasons I originally enjoyed WrongPlanet and kept coming back was that it seemed like a refuge not just for autistic people/suspected autistic people but also people with schizophrenia, bipolar, anxiety disorder, Tourette's etc (even if there is still a huge overlap of autistic people with these as comorbidity).
The more I think about it, I can see why my specialist wants to rule out autism but perhaps for different reasons than her. As I've said before she seems to have a very stringent, possibly old school view of what autism is. Even if I'm not on the spectrum some of the things that kind of offended me on behalf of autistic people were notions she shared that I have too much imagination to be autistic and, even more shockingly, she narrowed in on something my mother told her about me being in my earl 20s helping my older sister with her baby. On one specific occasion I walked around carrying her for a couple of hours while she cried (giving my sister a break) after breast feeding because she had colic. She explained that this showed a lot of care and consideration for others whereas autistic people can be more self focused or something it's been nearly a week since our last appointment so it's still taking me a while to process all of this. I'm going to stick with my original plan though. I'm gonna take the suggested treatment and see if it helps. If it does and I feel less alienated and more like other people then great. If not, if I still feel like there's some sort of impairment happening despite getting anxiety under control, then I'll start to think about getting a second opinion. After watching some youtube videos on generalised anxiety, even my initially skeptical girlfriend said something the other day like "I don't think this explains everything". I dunno, maybe I just underestimate the impact that anxiety can have on a person.

I wouldn't have guessed you're not autistic

Along the years, there have been a few non-autistic regulars that were very well-liked here. Personally, I have a huge dislike for NT-bashing, it doesn't do any favours to the community and it's no different from NTs mistreating autistic people.

I'm skeptical about your doctor. I would go get a second opinion. If they still find you not autistic, hopefully they will have a better explanation than using 90's definition of autism.

I agree. I have two children and have many times comforted them for hours. Not that ot didn't reduce me to a crying puddle of stress, but I care very deeply... just not always great at expressing it in a way other people understand! For my children though, at least at this age, they have always felt loved, I'm sure!

I have meant deficits, but caring is not one of them! This notion that people with autism don't care how people feel is so crazy!

...Did you ever see the old movie " Imitation Of Life " ?

LOL! I'll take that as a compliment.

I went through a phase where I thought I was undiagnosed (and who knows I may be) but realise that apart from the fact I'm a bit of a dick in real life (somwhere between Jim Carey/Jerry Seinfeld annoying) which means I actually don't have any friends - I do seem to be fairly NT in all other aspects and can't pretend I don't find it easy to deal with NTs...I call it engaging "NT Mode"

As far as what I heard via a missdiagnosed lady on Youtube, that she found the medication she was given did not work. I think they thought she had bipolar. Anyway, my thoughts are, try the medicatoon. If it makes a big difference to your life, then it is likely to be anxiety... And to be honest, a label does not matter. It is to get relief from the symptoms is the goal if possible here.. (Or to understand what is going on so one can find ones own relief by trying to prevent issues from happening in the first place... (E.g. if one does not know what one is getting are shutdowns, how can one try to prevent them! Something I have battled with for 40 years when doctors said they were allergies, so I kept altering diets and nothing worked!)).
Now if the medication has little or no effect, then one will know that it is not just anxiety. It may stop you feeling anxious, but it may not help withnother more minor issues... So one then knows there is more going on then just anxiety..

Those are my gut feelings as to a plan of attack to take. One possible negative issue is if you do have asperges, would the medication mask asperges and send one on a loop of being missdiagnosed... Ummm. Not sure. Anyone have an answer?

But at least, even if missdiagnosed, you are having the worst part of the condition dealt with (Assuming the anxiety is for you, the worst part of the symptoms you get). Those are my general feelings... I hope they help.

You fit in

I know things have been worse back in the day, but I'm sure both you and Dan are welcome here now

I second this. The current diagnostic standards are either ICD-10 or DSM5.
ICD-10 includes Asperger's Syndrome: https://iancommunity.org/cs/about_asds/ ... s_syndrome
DSM5 has broader definition of Autism Spectrum: https://images.pearsonclinical.com/imag ... sorder.pdf

With typical speech development you would fit AS under ICD and "ASD level 1 (most likely) without accompanying intellectual impairment, without accompanying language impairment" under DSM.

Your doc seems to combine the nonexistnece of AS from DSM with narrow autism definition from ICD

If your social difficulties were your only reason for suspecting autism (e.g. you don't have any sensory oddities, unusual difficulty coping with change, attention control difficulties such as more-than-normal difficulty multi-tasking, etc.), then that sounds like a reasonable approach. You might also find the following website helpful: https://www.succeedsocially.com/ (a collection of tutorials on general social skills).