I Might Have Aspergers and Want Help Regarding That

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There's somebody here who has emetephobia.

I'm also thinking that you could contact the New Zealand autism society--or whatever it's called there. That could be a start towards finding resources which could help you.

Then you could contact your state, county, or city autism society as a start.

As well as hang out with us.

what help are you looking for?
what is it you are struggling with? or what bothers you? what would you want to change?
do any of the things you attribute to possible Aspergers cause you problems?

As mentioned we can not diagnose you. For some of what you wrote I will say that is an autistic trait. That trait may be a result of Asperger but also could be caused another condition, or it is just a personality trait. For some of what you wrote I will say that is has nothing to do with Aspergers, that does mean you are not an aspie or the Aspergers should you have it does not affect how that trait presents. Also, it is very much possible to have Aspergers and other conditions.

Why I might be:
This guy was sunburned, and he was calling himself a lobster. I held back the urge to discuss blue colored lobsters.
Aspies are known to be prone to ramble on about their "special interest" that you knew to hold back is a social skill that many aspies do not have but some can learn


I have always felt different, and I have even considered trying to be “normal” for a day.
Teenagers in general often feel different, with Aspies it is much more intense than typical.


I only have one really good best friend, but I have a lot of acquaintances.
Aspies in general have a very tough time making friends and acquaintances.

My best friend was telling me one of her problems, and she got upset when I offered different possible solutions.
That is on her, it has nothing to do with you.

I write poetry.
Nothing to do with autism

I love animals, which is why I am vegan.
Nothing to do with autism


I am very empathetic.
That is a personality trait

I remember when I was little, I was either watching the show or reading a Berenstain Bears book, and in it, the cubs broke the mom’s lamp. I remember feeling really bad and upset for her.
You have sympathy, nothing to do with Aspergers

My hair is always a mess.
Sometimes autistics have issues with hygiene and fine motor skills which are needed to take care of hair.

I am most certainly gender nonconforming as I wear guys’ clothes.
Is this because you are not cisgender or girls cloths make you uncomfortable? A higher percentage of Aspies are cisgender then the general population and have sensitives to certain fabrics. Many other have these issues also.

I like to have deeper conversations versus small talk and what peers my age discuss.
By definition Aspies on average are smarter than the average population. Gifted people tend to want deep conversations. Autism is defined as difficulties in knowing how to communicate.

I was late to talk, but I could understand words, I just did not want to talk.
Without knowing why it is hard to say.

As a baby, I seldom cried, even when away from my mother.
Atypical expression is an autistic trait.

I would definitely not be considered normal.
That pertain to a bunch of people incling Aspies.

I cannot read people’s emotions well, except when it is obvious.
An Asperger trait.

I have always been unable to tell if I am annoying someone, which others tell me I do frequently.
Aspergers trait

I have had different topic of interest over the years, the most recent being kiwi birds.
That does not tell me anything in particular

I would still consider myself well rounded, though.
Autistics tend to have narrow special interests, that does not preclude them from being well-rounded.

I cannot easily tell if someone does not like me.
Difficulty '"reading people" is an autistic trait.

For eye contact, I usually either look elsewhere, or stare at their eyes and look away when they do.
Difficulty with eye contact is an autistic trait. Do you find eye contact uncomfortable or painful.

Sometimes I will say facts that others do not appreciate.
That could be related to Aspergers, giftedness but a lot of people do not like to be corrected.

Friends and family are able to pick me out from a crowd because of my gait.
Unusual gait is associated with autism

I loathe grammar mistakes.
Order and Routine are often preferred by aspies.

I have a very high IQ.
Discussed earlier.

I get anxiety at large events, such as concerts or parties.
My stomach will hurt and not feel better until I get home.
The question is why. A lot of aspies have sensitivity problems with the smells and noise and lights. Also, a lot of past social failures at parties will usually cause anxiety.

I never realized what it was before I started researching this subject, but if I am overthinking things in my bed, I will sort of curl up on my knees and rock.
I also play with my hands a lot.
Stimming which these sound like is an autistic trait

I write poetry.
Nothing to do with Aspergers

I have a differentiated taste of music compared to my peers.
Nothing to do with Aspergers per se.

I use vocabulary words that my peers do not always understand.
You are gifted, you are smarter than them

I will talk loudly and not realize it until someone else points out it.
It could be noise hypo sensitivity associated with autism but I suggest having your hearing checked


Most of the time I do not think that others understand me.
So many reasons for that including giftedness there is no point in me guessing.


Emotions, in my book, are less important than facts most of the time.
Aspies tend to feel that way

I like to pick at stuff.
It could be a thing related to touch senstivity or not

I am not concerned with being popular.
Not an Asperger trait

In grade school, after watching a movie, when the teacher would turn on the lights, my eyes would be unaffected.
You probably do not have light sensitivity which does not make you not autistic

I love to learn things.
Not aspergers trait

I have trouble doing “normal” things, such as brushing teeth, on a daily basis.
Why? Without that I can't hazard a guess.

I like being solitary.
I would usually rather work alone than in a group.
Again I would have to know why, could be trait of introversion, problems with multitasking and sensory sensitives associated with autism, or that is your personality.

I like to know why something is before I do it besides “I said so”.
I think that is a good trait to have but it could be your personality or a need for order associated with Aspergers

I also like to have debates/discussions
I am open to debate/discussion about my beliefs.
Not associated with Aspergers but debate rules are good for aspies

I usually say “hopefully” along with “see you later” just in case.
Not an Aspergers trait

I unknowingly emulate others.
Not an Aspergers trait. Actually a popular current theory is that Aspie females meticulously study others in order to fit in.

I have been complimented on the “cool facts” I like to tell others.
Not an autistic trait

I have tinnitus.
I am not well versed on this but there are indications tinnitus is more common on the spectrum than the general population

When somebody tells a story, I usually say a similar experience that I had. I heard that you are not supposed to do this. Are you?
It depends. Usually it will be seen favoraably as a way of trying to connect but it can be seen as trivializing for example if you say to a stomach cancer patient I get a lot of stomach aches as well.

When I was younger, and sometimes even now, I would keep adopting a habit of making small noises in my throat that I would then end, the habits, with my mom’s encouragement.
Could be a stim discussed earlier

In one of my classes with almost all seniors(when I was a sophomore), I always had trouble talking and pairing up with groups because I do not know any of them well. I can do that stuff fine in classes with people with whom I am more familiar.
This is not atypical at all but generally much harder for autistics

I guess that I can overshare, as evidenced by this.
Sometimes I will always talk about something. In 8th grade, I really loved the song Orange Crush by REM. I still do like it, but I would talk about it nearly every day, especially in art class.
As mentioned earlier rambling on about a special interest is an autistic trait as is repetitive behaviors which that is. I like that song also.

People think that I get easily distracted. Because of this, they think that I will be a bad driver.
This could be an attention related disorder which is a common co occuring condition with autism(and fairly common sans autism) or it could be sensory related.

The one person that I thought was really like me also has Asperger’s. I felt “connected” before I knew this.
Maybe

Pretty much every guy that I have dated was crazy or had a lot of problems.
Again it could be related to poor ability to "read" people or a host of other issues including lack of experience and judgement because you are young. That needs to be dealt with probably professionally.

I have some OCD tendencies.
OCD tendencies does not make one clinically OCD but OCD is a common co occurring condition.

I have adopted this thing where I “have” to take an even number of steps in a certain section, and I like to start with one foot and end with the other.
I like to blink an even number of times
Repetitive behaviors are an autistic trait

I have been called, and I quote, an “anal rule follower.”
As mentioned earlier autistics do tend to like routine



Why I might not be:
I am able to talk to others and get along on a day to day basis.
I am not sure if I have ever had a “melt down.”

I can read facial expressions somewhat well sometimes.
How well compared with the average?.

I can understand most idioms and expressions.

I have lied.
Autistics lie, often not well

I like a lot of different foods.

I like to talk a lot.
Autistics can be extroverts. Extroversion/Introversion are not autistic traits

I make a lot of bad puns.
I do not have a lot of problems with the five senses. I attended a concert recently, and I was fine wearing earplugs. This is something that seems a lot less severe in me than other people with Aspergers, but loud noises hurt my ears.
Maybe

I have been told that I am good with young and special needs children.
I only say this because of social skills needed.
Children are pretty simple and blunt. They say what they mean and mean what they say and don't hold back. That is good for Aspies who often have problems with "hidden meanings". You might see a liitle bit of yourself in those special needs children.


Maybe?
I am kind of a hypochondriac.
When I was little, I would inspect almost all of my food before eating it.

If think by now you understand all the traits are a maybe.




If you are going to go for an ASD diagnosis best to do it soon as there areless resources and understanding of adult autism.
The idea of a ASD or any diagnosis is not to see if you have a personality type but to try and find out what is impairing you. The goal here is not to get a Autism Spectrum Disorder diagnosis per se but to find out why you are bieng impaired. Like I said earlier your dangourous dating habits is a reason for me to suggest you seek proffessional help.

You seem very organized in your approach. Males and females tend to express autism differently. The following is a list of male Aspie traits. In reading your list, I feel that many of your traits are similar.

* shy and introvert
* feel isolated through most of their childhood and into adulthood.
* avoidance of social contact or events, and may experience heightened anxiety in social situations
* seek out time alone when overloaded by other people (need to decompress after stress)
* despite a desire for friends, difficulty in initiating or maintaining close relationships
* perceived to be cold-hearted and self-centered, unfriendly
* socially awkward (inability to socialize) (severe impairment in reciprocal social interaction)
* difficulty with nonverbal communication (hand gestures, facial expression, body language, eye-to-eye gaze)
* does not understand conventional social rules (have problems with following social conventions such as respecting another person's physical space, speaking loudly in quiet places) * does not understand the use of gestures or sarcasm (may not understand the subtleties of language, such as irony and humor)
* shows a lack of empathy (difficulty understanding others’ feelings, difficulty communicating feelings)
* unaware of others’ thoughts, feelings, desires, intentions or perceptions resulting in inadvertently appearing rude or inconsiderate
* may not understand the give-and-take nature of a conversation (they do not engage family members in true two-way conversation. Instead, there is limited or awkward turn-taking, and the natural "give and take" in the conversation is missing.)
* dislikes group conversations but effective in communicating in simple one-on-one conversations
* struggles to make eye contact
* seems unengaged in a conversation (seeming aloof, arrogant and uninterested)
* being “in their own world”
* formal style of speaking; often called “little professor,” verbose
* tendency to discuss self rather than others (one-sided conversations)
* average to superior intelligence, brilliant
* may be exceptionally skilled in math, computer science, and music.
* proficient in knowledge categories of information (highly-focused interests)
* a remarkable ability for intense focus is a common trait, becoming an expert in a single object or topic to the exclusion of all others
* the capacity to persevere in specific interests without being swayed by others' opinions
* activities usually involve collecting, numbering, or listing (often likes to collect categories of things)
* obsessed with order (an innate need to make order out of apparent chaos)
* frequently a target for bullying and teasing
* extremely hard-headed
* tenacity
* impulsive
* the ability to work independently * strong self discipline
* the recognition of patterns that may be missed by others,
* an original way of thinking. (outside the box) [or even better yet – What Box!]
* have rigid routines, may prefer sameness and have difficulties with transitions or changes
* repetitive behavior, such as repetitive eating habits, listening to the same song over and over again.
* likes to wear the same clothes for days/weeks
* inability to deceive or to understand deception
* righteousness, deeply compassionate and easily outraged by injustices (renowned for being honest, having a strong sense of social justice and keeping to the rules. They strongly believe in moral and ethical principles)
* trustworthy (my word is my bond)
* open book (when comfortable completely open and honest), blunt and direct
* fearless and risk taker - "seem to have no sense of guilt or of danger"
* face blind (prosopagnosia)
* prefers hands-on learning experiences
* double check to make sure the door is locked and the lights are turned off.
* child-like imagination
* limitless curiosity
* inattentive to grooming and personal hygiene, awkward appearance
* strong dislike of being interrupted when talking (It short-circuits the train of thought)
* remembers very early childhood events.
* perfectionist
* difficulty accepting mistakes
* difficulty making friends
* difficulty taking advice
* difficulty managing anger
* pattern of black and white thinking
* as a young child - bossy; a little older - tattletale
* calm in a crisis
* dislikes multitasking
* when young, exhibited self-stimulatory behavior: stimming (thumb-sucking)

Male Aspies or High Functioning Autistics (HFAs) as children are sometimes described as "Little Professors" while females are sometimes described as "Little Psychologist". Females tend to use social masking or mirroring to blend into society.

You have females who "present" autism in a way different from how males express it.

Then you have females who "present" precisely the way males would "present."

You would be better off to consult an appropriately-trained mental health professional than a bunch of strangers on a social website.

I drafted a longish response and lost it, so longish to short: Most of what you said resonates with me (except I am highly emotional rather than not, and highly sensitive -all six senses- rather than OCD). I am considering diagnosis now in my late 40s. At your age I was depressed (or quiet), at my age I have meltdowns (or shutdowns). I lean towards extroverted and am "fine" when life is good (meaning I am anxious but can pass), but I am a wreck when there is "stress" (e.g. which is a REALLY low threshold). When I read my college letters, I was bubbly and full of possibility and confused by my anxiety --- I did so much but it was soooooo hard (and still is). The irony of me: Life is hard for me, but I want to do so much!

I had support in college, but I if I knew I was ASD (or broad autism phenotype), I could have tailored my support. Instead of thinking "What is WRONG with me? Why can I be the highest scorer in multiple classes but I can't boil water?" I would think "Oh, this is the tendency of my brain, so I am going to concentrate on this recipe and GET THIS DONE. I can do it!" I then I'd stimulate some vagus nerve points.