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"Most people with autism don't crave social interaction"

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asp159
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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28 Sep 2019, 12:15 am

Trogluddite wrote:
Social Interaction? I'd quite often like more of that.

What I don't crave? People taking my neutral observations as value judgements. People lacking patience when I'm slow to respond. People taking my questions asked out of genuine curiosity or confusion as indicating an opinion. Being expected to express an opinion about subjects about which I know too little to have one. Being excluded, laughed at, or bullied because I don't comprehend or see the sense in in-group stereotypes or shibboleths. Being expected to take sides in petty clashes of egos. Being expected to be social in environments which confound my sensory perceptions. Being dismissed or ignored when I try to explain why I'm struggling with any of these.

None of the above are essential to "social interaction" in its broadest sense; it is specific kinds of social interaction to which I'm averse, not social interaction in principle.


Sadly this is very relatable



firemonkey
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28 Sep 2019, 3:38 am

Outside of stepfamily, the cleaning lady and the depot nurse there's no one I've had regular interaction with since I've been here .
There's an activity club in town but (1) It's in a part of town outside the area I know (2)It involves a lot of activities I have no aptitude for (3) There are outings to many places I'd struggle to get to on my own.



Trueno
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28 Sep 2019, 3:55 am

Trogluddite wrote:
Social Interaction? I'd quite often like more of that.

What I don't crave? People taking my neutral observations as value judgements. People lacking patience when I'm slow to respond. People taking my questions asked out of genuine curiosity or confusion as indicating an opinion. Being expected to express an opinion about subjects about which I know too little to have one. Being excluded, laughed at, or bullied because I don't comprehend or see the sense in in-group stereotypes or shibboleths. Being expected to take sides in petty clashes of egos. Being expected to be social in environments which confound my sensory perceptions. Being dismissed or ignored when I try to explain why I'm struggling with any of these.

None of the above are essential to "social interaction" in its broadest sense; it is specific kinds of social interaction to which I'm averse, not social interaction in principle.


Spot on, trog!

I've said this before... I state a fact (which I often do) and people think I'm expressing an opinion. I rarely express opinions... even when asked... I tend to keep quiet in social situations. Even then some people can't leave me alone... "why are you so quiet? Are you snobby or something?"

But, in the past, if I have no social contact at all I tend to disappear up my own fundament and get depressed.


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shortfatbalduglyman
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28 Sep 2019, 8:42 am

Not all counselors say that

Maybe you could get a different counselor



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28 Sep 2019, 9:15 am

I do like the interaction, but never had the opportunity until about six years ago. I have found groups of people I like to interact with.



Redpaws
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28 Sep 2019, 10:58 am

"Most People With Autism Don't Crave Social Interaction"

I generally don't crave it at all. I enjoy the company of family (although I need a lot of alone time too), but I can't honestly say that I enjoy interacting with people, regardless of whether they're strangers, acquaintances or in school or daycare when I was a kid. It's not awkwardness or anxiety, it's the fact that for me interacting isn't fun, fulfilling or interesting. It's boring and a waste of time. I just wanna do stuff that actually interest me and preferably alone. People just get in the way of my enjoyment and distract me. And unlike pets they're an unwelcome distraction.
Not everyone has the need to be around people and getting to know (more) people. Some just wanna be left in peace with what we like to do. And that needs to be as okay as any other stance on the interaction spectrum. I'm tired of seeing how much we all are really vert social we just don't know how to be. I'm sure some feel that way, but it must be okay to be like the stereotype too when some of us are that different.


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red_doghubb
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28 Sep 2019, 11:04 am

Redpaws wrote:
"Most People With Autism Don't Crave Social Interaction"

I generally don't crave it at all. I enjoy the company of family (although I need a lot of alone time too), but I can't honestly say that I enjoy interacting with people, regardless of whether they're strangers, acquaintances or in school or daycare when I was a kid. It's not awkwardness or anxiety, it's the fact that for me interacting isn't fun, fulfilling or interesting. It's boring and a waste of time. I just wanna do stuff that actually interest me and preferably alone. People just get in the way of my enjoyment and distract me. And unlike pets they're an unwelcome distraction.
Not everyone has the need to be around people and getting to know (more) people. Some just wanna be left in peace with what we like to do. And that needs to be as okay as any other stance on the interaction spectrum. I'm tired of seeing how much we all are really vert social we just don't know how to be. I'm sure some feel that way, but it must be okay to be like the stereotype too when some of us are that different.


From my perspective this is a good way of putting it.