Can you pass for NT? (with / without co-occurring ADHD)

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But has anyone ever said, "you're so weird" or "_____ [some other person] thinks you're really weird"?

I used to hear this sort of thing when I was younger, and I would probably still hear it now and then it if I were to hang out with non-autistic non-immigrants more often than I do.

Last edited by Mona Pereth on 09 Sep 2019, 5:46 pm, edited 3 times in total.

I've been hearing people say I'm "weird," "ret*d," things like that since I was about 6-7 years old----on a regular basis.

Not those exact words, but 48 years on I can remember waiting for a teacher to come and take a geography class and
monkey chants being directed at me by the other boys .

At prep school other boys suggested I was the 'missing link' .

I believe this is a generational thing. Younger folks are more likely to think of a peer (or several) they knew growing up who might have been anywhere on the spectrum. The further back you go the less likely they'd have heard the label applied to folks who weren't severe so the impression changes.

To be fair, if my understanding of ASD was what it was around 20 years ago, I wouldn't have been so tolerant of being diagnosed.

Some Doctor in my childhood had diagnosed me with ADHD, but I don't particularly think I am. Not by what my understanding of what ADHD is anyway. They wanted to medicate me; my mother told them no, and that was last ADHD was talked about in regards to myself.

I haven't a very good idea of how others really perceive me so I'm not sure if I pass for NT or not. I don't believe anyone that encounters me necessarily thinks autistic or aspergers. Especially with how difficult it was to get someone to commit to saying I have Aspergers. But certainly I have been thought of as weird.

I think I come across pretty "normal" when I'm in my performance mode. I've managed to impress people apparently like that too. My basic self is probably mostly seen as conservative/shy and a tad odd.

People that spend a good amount of time with me would probably put it together eventually...Maybe

I think you're right on with this, Korts. It's the reason that I have not disclosed at work and I don't see myself ever doing that barring some pressing need to. I think in some respect I live in a bubble: I spend a lot of time on WP, an autistic community, I read books about autism, I watch anything I can that has an autistic theme if it looks good. It's easy for me to assume that NTs have more of an understanding about HFA than they do, but I know that's not the case. For me, it's a fantasy to think that I could disclose and my work life would end up being better than it is now. The reality is I don't believe that's what would happen.

Now that I'm 22, I feel like I can pass for NT in most situations. Even when I told a couple of my friends that I have autism they were pretty surprised to find out. I think what helped me was attending a social skills training in middle school where I learned how to start conversations and make friends. When I was in college, I was even able to interact with others normally and befriend people. I will say though it still takes a lot of effort for me to adapt to social cues and interacting with others like a NT. As an introvert with ASD, I do tend to burn out from prolonged social interactions and definitely need time to myself to rejunvate and recharge. People might think I'm weird or quirky but not autistic.

Although I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD as a child, I definitely had ADHD with ASD, and I think if it wasn't for my ADHD I don't think my AS would have been recognised until adulthood, if at all. Most girls with AS (mild/high-functioning) seem to go unrecognised and just classed as a quirky and shy child. But my behaviour at home (frequent temper tantrums and hyperactivity) drove my mother to despair so much that she got family support services involved to help. So all of a sudden the school got involved too and I ended up being monitored or observed in the classroom and then after several visits with a psychologist, I received a diagnosis at just 8 years old. I got better at school because I received extra support, but I didn't get better at home. In fact my behaviour at home got worse as I got older, and I've only got better since 2014 when I went on meds and met my boyfriend. So from about the age of 4 to 24 I was hell to live with. I have been diagnosed with ADHD a few years ago and I think it's that what made my odd behaviour more noticeable. It seems that most girls on the spectrum, even girls that grew up in the 1990s/2000s, are not diagnosed because they're not 'obvious' enough. Maybe I would have been one of them if I didn't have ADHD and all.

I don't have or suspect ADHD, but I highly doubt I can successfully pass as NT for any length of time. I always get the feeling that people can tell something's up with me even if they can't identify exactly what, and anyone who actually knows what autism is can probably tell pretty easily. Sometimes I don't realize I'm stimming obviously or can't help doing it (rocking, fiddling with things, flicking my wrist, shaking or flapping my hand, etc.), I have kind of an awkward gait and am always looking down, it's likely people will see me cover my ears against loud or a lot of noise, and I have selective mutism and a quiet voice even if I am able to talk, except with people I know very well. Any of those things probably tip people off.

Asperger's diagnosed age 21

No ADHD

36 right now

Disclosed to a lot of lil dipshits

Doubt that I will do that much more

By far the most common answer was "you don't look autistic"

A 61 year old classmate from Structural engineering , UCSD, had the nerve to tell me that he read a book about Asperger's and he diagnosed me with it and he diagnosed himself with it

Penis




But the older I get the more off I appear

Maybe if I don't say much.
I'm tempted to believe that some people think there is something wrong with me after a short interaction.

Formal ADHD diagnosis in my mid-30s, self-identified Asperger's 20 years later.

Recently, my (bi-polar) sister and I were comparing prescriptions we've had over the years, along with ones we knew other family members had been prescribed, and I commented that it was kind of funny how many mind-altering substances it takes for the people in our family to pass as "normal"!

Well, he wasn't wrong for at least one of his two patients.