NT Therapy Doesn't Work?

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So, has anyone found out what non AS people would say in response to those questions yet?

Are we supposed to "feel" anything at the same time as thinking about answering a question? Do NTs do that?


Thanks for all the other responses too. Really interesting and helpful.

I am not finding it very helpful. I have a very difficult time applying the techniques to every day life. I simply forget to do so. The only technique I've been able to use (and remember to use) is to focus on my breathing in order to stop crying.

I had CBT a couple of times and I think it was detrimental. This is a blatant generalization, but I think psychology is a total fraud. I have been lucky enough to find a good psychiatrist - no silly "how does this make you feel?" talk. Just straight to the medications, which have been the only thing that have helped me.

That's how most psychiatrists operate, at least in HMO's. It's usually psychologists or licensed clinical social workers who do the CBT. I see a psychiatrist just for medication maintenance, and both a psychologist and a LCSW for therapy. And for me, none of it is working.

Edited to add: Sorry, didn't see you were in Canada. I have no idea how it works there!

Last edited by gretchyn on 18 Nov 2012, 12:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yes, I can feel something at the same time I am thinking about answering a question. Although I admit that sometimes it is a cognitive label I have given to my feelings and not necessarily an actual "feeling." Though I doubt that makes sense.

I definitely think there are things which need to be done differently with AS people in therapy. I have had counselling once in the past and was always baffled by the questions I was asked, especially those discussed above about emotions. I found it really hard work, rather than something helpful. Also, my counsellor was particularly keen on having me role-play. One difficulty I was having at the time was about having to face a family member with a particular issue and she wanted me to practice having the conversation. Unfortunately, every time she said "so what would you say? What would (person) say in response to that?" I could only stare blankly at her. Of course, I now know that's because aspies have zero social imagination and can't perform this sort of feat at all. It was very frustrating because she would bring it up every single session and I couldn't wrap my head around it at all.

I've just started counselling again for the first time in many years with a specialist in ASDs. I have much better hopes this time. While the first session was mostly explaining my history and what I want from the therapy, I can already tell from the first session that she knows exactly what the differences are in working with someone with AS and that's very encouraging. I definitely think we can benefit from therapy, just not the same kind of practices that work for NT people, so we need someone with the right kind of experience.

Basically any therapy that has been done by a therapist that works only with NTs. I have a tendency to get mad at therapist that don't work for me. It was just a matter of seeing it. I can see it now, but if the therapy causes me more stress then relief then I know to walk out and tell them there s**t. Therapists have a tendency to focus too much on my anxiety, its hard to articulate to a person how my anxiety is different. My anxiety seems to be the "cover" for just about everything. People dont seem to get that. I wont put up with bad services anymore cause its counteractive to my self-wellness. Its kinda hard for an aspie to recognize that when NTs have ways of overpowering you and making you feel bad about yourself. They have better social cognition then you do so they leave you in a powerless guilt induced state and the only thing you can do is argue pointlessly and tell them they suck and walk out on them.

I believe it may help to a point, but then with the limitations of not being an NT could come difficulties in doing certain things expected of cognitive behavioral therapy. For example, it does help a person who is ASD or NT to think positive and be positive about life in general. Someone with ASD will need additional help in developing social skills to navigate the NT world to include how to avoid bullying in school and the work place. Everyone has different strengths and weakenesses and should do something that helps emphasize his or her strengths, and this applies to employment and life in general.

It depends on the goal of your therapy and also may depend on the rapport you develop with your therapist. Sometimes a person may feel better just talking about their problems and venting to someone or if someone has a strong phobia talking to a therapist can help as well.

That's really interesting. I can relate to that.

I tried CBT, because I was told it was supposed to work for ASpies.
but beyond a bit of initial help from being able to talk about things, I think it actually made me worse. I was going through a really crappy time, and she was trying to convince me that if I just thought positively it would all go away; when the reality was I'd been through a bucket full of s**t, and there was more in the pipeline, and no amount of positive thinking was going to make it go away. What I really needed was acknowledgement that I had been treated like crap, that I'd made a mammoth effort trying to fix a bad situation, and I had a right to feel like crap. I could barely drag myself out of bed, and she was telling me to walk the kokoda track, do a masters, get a high pressure job 2 hours away, because that would make me feel better and people would respect me if I had more education.

She also got me on antidepressant drugs, which I didn't want to do - as I'd had bad experiences with them in the past. They made me feel like a zombie, which made it even harder to come to logical decisions.

So yeah, not a fan.

That sounds as if she is ignoring the logistic restraints in your life. Around here it is very common to do that

In workplaces employers give coaching sessions to their employees so that they can reach their full potential. Nobody is talking about the idiot boss who makes your workingday a nightmare (we are certanitely not talking about that!) or other logistic restraints or other factors but yourself.
You get stressed because you are not able to organise your workinglife proberbly. Nobody is talking about excessive amount of work or the fact that employees have been assigned taskes that take 180% of their working time.

I am going through a lot of crap in my life at the moment, but I have no intentions of taking medication for depression. Medication do not change the situation or magic it all away. Medication will not make me stronger, on the contrary (I am well aware that this do not apply to all people in all situations)

Good for you that you dumped that therapist, I do not see how that could work for anybody!

Two minutes after I wrote the above post i found this piece in the newspaper "I do not f*****g smile when life crack "

http://politiken.dk/debat/ECE1815756/je ... rakelerer/

I am sorry that it is in danish, but do a google translate.

I really enjoyed reading that web post. It rang true, particularly about facebook; and how society expects people with cancer to just be happy and get on with it.

thankyou for posting.

Most of it is inconsistent, incoherent, sentimental, and irrelevant.

I just wrote a few paragraphs explaining the therapy etc etc and just deleted it all. I can quickly and easily sum up why I am worried this will not do any good.

"That's really quite normal.".

Good God! Is that really what she is going with. One of the few things I do know is that the way I am is certainly not normal by NT standards. I went for years not understanding what this 'thing' was but all the time very acutely aware of it's existence and of being different just not knowing how. Not being normal and in fact being obviously and beyond any reasonable doubt on the spectrum is about the only thing I feel sure of at the minute.

I have no idea how to take this at all. Is she trying to reassure me that I am not different when I am more aware of the differences than I have ever been? Does she doubt my self-diagnosis (I am still on the waiting list for formal diagnosis)? Even my own mother told me the other day that she thought that I already knew I had AS. Is this some clever technique that I dont understand designed to get me to embrace my differences?

I will obviously need to clarify this at the next session. Maybe it is just that I didn't explain (or sufficiently justify) how certain I am that AS fits.

Most types of therapy that you are likely to get will focus on emotions and not on social skills.

Unless your therapist knows you are Aspie and has an understanding of Asperger's, they won't get what you really need. Most Aspies would like to have a set of rules and algorithms to help them understand how to behave and interpret NTs.

The best approach to treat Aspies is to help them manage their anxiety, help them develop some impulse control to learn not to interrupt and to be patient and learn to listen, and to practice eye contact.

We, Aspies, tend to be in our heads so much that we do not pay attention to what others might be experiencing. So, good therapy for an Aspie has to include behavioral and social skills. Don't blame therapy for a mediocre therapist

I am fortunate enough to have a therapist who specializes in treating folks with ASD.

In my humble opinion, while identifying emotions in yourself and others is very valuable, especially in life's crises, what we primarily need is concrete advice and social skills development, so as to improve the quality of day-to-day living.

Examples:
"You aren't socializing enough? Here are steps/sites/etc. that will help you achieve this."

"Do you seem to offend people without meaning to? Here are some rules and practice exercises to do to help reduce this from occurring."