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people to stop using me was inspiration porn

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OutsideView
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28 Oct 2019, 5:22 am

MagicMeerkat wrote:
But veganism isn't the point here.

Sorry, wasn't trying to derail your thread, just tired of only hearing veganism mentioned when it's non-vegans complaining :mrgreen:

MagicMeerkat wrote:
I wanted to leave early because I had a f*****g headache and business was slow. I only sold 5 paintings....the watercolor sunsets and palm trees I actually HATE.

It's rubbish that you had such a bad time! What do you prefer painting? I've often heard musicians say that everyone seems to like the songs they don't.

MagicMeerkat wrote:
It wasn't my mother's idea to say I was autistic. The lady who organized my show suggested it stating I was autistic in my bio (apparently I have other shows coming up).

I wouldn't want everyone knowing in that situation either. Perhaps you could put her off by reminding her that it's private medical information.


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28 Oct 2019, 7:22 am

I'm an artist of sorts myself but would never link that to my autism unless it was relevant. For example, I was invited to conduct some theater workshops at an autism conference earlier this month...so it was relevant in that context.


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29 Oct 2019, 2:19 pm

I tried to explain this whole situation to my mom and she just flips out over the term "inspiration porn".

"That's a stupid thing to say!"

"Yes, mother, I agree, But that's what it's called but it's not that kind of "porn"."

"It's a stupid thing to say!"

She just kept going on about how it's a stupid thing to say and people knew Daryl Hannah was autistic before she was in Splash, and that I'd make more money if people knew I was autistic. I tried to explain that this was MY art and I have the right to disclose if I am autistic or not and right now. She just wanted to argue and eventually told me to go away.


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magz
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29 Oct 2019, 2:33 pm

Can you be the one to end the discussion?
Like, "I see you don't get what I mean and I don't want to talk about it any more."

I gave up trying to explain things to my parents long ago. I have no energy to endlessly try to bend a rigid mindset. I just state what I think and it's up to them if they accept it or not. Or I don't even bother to do this, if it's my business, not theirs.


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MagicMeerkat
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29 Oct 2019, 2:40 pm

magz wrote:
Can you be the one to end the discussion?
Like, "I see you don't get what I mean and I don't want to talk about it any more."

I gave up trying to explain things to my parents long ago. I have no energy to endlessly try to bend a rigid mindset. I just state what I think and it's up to them if they accept it or not. Or I don't even bother to do this, if it's my business, not theirs.


The other lady wants me to be an "inspiration" to someone she knows with spina biffida. If I made her angry, she might stop setting up shows for me and I need the money.


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magz
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29 Oct 2019, 2:48 pm

Spina biffida is quite unrelated to autism...
Sure, if that someone wants to make art, that's a great idea but I don't even see how you could relate to each other.


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29 Oct 2019, 4:36 pm

magz wrote:
Spina biffida is quite unrelated to autism...
Sure, if that someone wants to make art, that's a great idea but I don't even see how you could relate to each other.



That's what I think. I told her I don't think it's a good idea to let the world know I'm autistic right away. Hopefully she isn't as closed minded as my mom. I try to bring things like this up with my mother and she just screams at me, "Fine! Ruin your opportunities!" She once someone I was autistic, behind my back too and that person took advantage of me.


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29 Oct 2019, 5:27 pm

Fnord wrote:
We used to call “inspiration porn” being a “poster child” for some such cause or another. It’s a form of tokenism, too.

Both are tokenism and have other similarities, but they are not exactly the same.
"Poster child" can mean this person is an accurate representation of something, ie Trump is a poster child for narcissism.

It can also be literary a child's picture in a poster. The purpose being to make you voluntarily transfer your money to some "charity".


"Inspiration Porn" calls you out for being a lazy excuse maker. It says if this person with Autism or any other condition can do it so can you.


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29 Oct 2019, 5:51 pm

I talked to the lady. She says I don't have to disclose if I don't want too. She said that may be the only way to get the TV to pay attention....I never said I wanted to be on TV. And even so, once people find out I'm autistic before meeting me, they treat me like an "autistic person" not a person. I don't know if I want to be famous if I have to be autistic too. Especially with the stigma that goes along with being autistic. I see autistic artists on the news all the time and never heard anything else about them afterwards.


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magz
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30 Oct 2019, 2:38 am

At least the lady seems respectful.


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30 Oct 2019, 7:40 am

ASPartOfMe wrote:
"Inspiration Porn" calls you out for being a lazy excuse maker. It says if this person with Autism or any other condition can do it so can you.
[flashback=cringe-worthy]

Some "Church-Lady" types bused a bunch of us kids from Sunday-school to sing carols at a nursing facility. Afterward, one of them took me aside and said she had something to show me. She took me into a ward that smelled of excrement and disinfectant. There were about a dozen kids on beds. Some were rocking, some were moaning, and some just stared blankly into space or seemed to be asleep.

The lady let me soak it all in, then took me back out into the hallway.

"There," she said. "Now don't you feel silly for complaining about being uncomfortable? Those kids will never know comfort, so you shouldn't complain."

Then she took me back to the bus, where I sat and rocked while staring blindly into space...

[/flashback]

I've never forgotten that incident. Using other people's disabilities to shame someone into silent compliance should be a criminal offense.


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30 Oct 2019, 9:42 am

Great thread OP!! ! Your sharing of this is an inspiration (but not porn). I never heard of inspiration porn until I searched it just now. Your gut instinct is on the mark. Do NOT play the aspie card. There are exceptions to this, such as if doing so is absolutely necessary to survive, but, generally speaking, in a case such as yours imo it will erode an essential quality of integrity in yourself. and the more that erodes, the less you will be consciously aware of it eroding, so this is the golem and how it eats you and devours your potential. One older person's opinion, anyway.



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31 Oct 2019, 12:04 pm

Mountain Goat wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Mountain Goat wrote:
... How do we describe autism in a way that everybody can understand? ...
How do we describe autism in a way that everybody can understand, and accept?

I mean, it’s easy to explain autism, and maybe a little less easy to explain how it feels to be autistic in an allistic society. But how do you explain it all in such a way that “normal” people won’t dismiss the explanation as just more whining by a bunch of “weird, hand-flapping losers and snowflakes”? That is, assuming that any “normal” person is even interested in learning about autism.

Put a panel of psychologists on Public TV?

Have Alex make a hero’s journey movie featuring a real-life Aspie in a lead role?

Convince celebrities and sports figures to “come out” as Aspies whether or not they really are?

Everybody is convinced in different ways, and some more easily than others (some not at all).

It’s going to take a long-term, multi-faceted approach to even reach everyone.



I think we need more of things like this.

It feels a bit like talking about God to an uneliever. You know what you are trying to say, but there is a difference in communication somewhere as the unbeliever and the believer have two different mind concepts both based on their personal experiences. Talking to an allistic person from the mindset of an autistic person is something along similar lines in my mind because each one on either side has a different perspective. Building the bridges of the mindset is not easy. It is basically telling the allistic person to put down their pre-concieved ideas so they can then be ready to hear what one is talking about without jumping to conclusions before one has finished in ones description.


Thanks to Fnord and Mountain Goat and others who contributed, and of course, especially, the OP! This quoted material and some other messages also are so relevant to subjective context and raise an extremely important question of how to possibly bridge that kind of gap.



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01 Nov 2019, 11:29 pm

Fnord wrote:
ASPartOfMe wrote:
"Inspiration Porn" calls you out for being a lazy excuse maker. It says if this person with Autism or any other condition can do it so can you.
[flashback=cringe-worthy]

Some "Church-Lady" types bused a bunch of us kids from Sunday-school to sing carols at a nursing facility. Afterward, one of them took me aside and said she had something to show me. She took me into a ward that smelled of excrement and disinfectant. There were about a dozen kids on beds. Some were rocking, some were moaning, and some just stared blankly into space or seemed to be asleep.

The lady let me soak it all in, then took me back out into the hallway.

"There," she said. "Now don't you feel silly for complaining about being uncomfortable? Those kids will never know comfort, so you shouldn't complain."

Then she took me back to the bus, where I sat and rocked while staring blindly into space...

[/flashback]

I've never forgotten that incident. Using other people's disabilities to shame someone into silent compliance should be a criminal offense.


I honestly probably would have sucker punched that lady. :twisted: :evil:


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