Is there anyone here who chooses not to talk?

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adversarial
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29 Aug 2005, 8:37 pm

I thought when it mentioned 'talking', it referred to writing on here. I do plenty (perhaps too much) of that.

In the 'real world' though, I go to extremes. A new situation when I think I have to 'make myself known', I rapidly alienate the other egotists because they can't get a word in edgeways. After that I tend to shut up. By naturaly inclination, I prefer to be quiet though. The less you say, the less anyone has got on you. There is an invention now - called the iPod - which can help you over the worst excesses of the mindless chatterers of course.



NeantHumain
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29 Aug 2005, 10:00 pm

adversarial wrote:
I thought when it mentioned 'talking', it referred to writing on here. I do plenty (perhaps too much) of that.

Yeah, that's the impression I got when I read the original post of this topic. With this being my first day of class at a new college, though, I found my own reinterpretation a little more relevant to my life. I don't have any problem talking on the forums or IRC channel for that matter (but my college's firewall blocks IRC 8O).

It's common—and, on some Usenet newsgroups and forums, a strong recommendation to newbies—to lurk for a period to become better acquainted with the members, posting style, etiquette, and other members. Many lurkers are also a little anxious about feeling welcomed in the group. With this community in particular, I would think (applying my theory of mind :lol:) that many lurkers would like to get a better sense of whether they can relate to the condition other members describe. They want to know if Asperger's syndrome fits them.



Who_Am_I
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29 Aug 2005, 10:04 pm

Just to clarify, I meant actual talking, not posting on here.
A lot of the people who have replied sound a lot like me- I hardly talk at all, and I find typing much easier than talking.
However, if the conversation is on a subject that I have a particular interest in, that's an entirely different story. :)


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aspergian_mutant
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30 Aug 2005, 12:26 am

Many times I find my self with not much to vocalize, it seems to be pointless when no one seems to care to listen or it may stir up more troubles then its worth. mostly when I am upset I keep quiet, basically when arguing no one wants to hear my side of things so they argue to win it seems, making the discussion mute to debate, or just trying to debate an issue or letting my feelings known just makes matters worse, therefor its best to just shut my trap, and many times I just keep silent when angry or upset until I cool down enough to make more of a valid point instead trying to make a point while emotional, then by the time I relax and think on it I soon just drop the subject or let it eat at me until something happens to bring the subject back up again.



chamoisee
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30 Aug 2005, 12:38 am

I can't think of a time where I've been totally non-verbal for an extended period. I am however given to not talking under some conditions, or being extremely quiet. Sometimes I just have nothing to say to a person, and it is very, very easy not to say anything.

When I am alone or nearly so I speak very little. Then when I do break the silence (for exampe, talkign to myself or an animal or plant), my voice sounds odd and I sort of cringe from it.

When my firstborn son was small (under a year old) his father was a trucker and was gone for weeks at a time. I woudl go for several days without speakign much at all. A lady asked me whether I ever spoke to my son...and I just looked at her and said, "What would I say to him??" :P :oops: Honestly, it didn't seem necessary. We were able to communicate just fine without saying anything.



TheBladeRoden
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30 Aug 2005, 1:18 am

as the saying goes

Quote:
Tis better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool, than to open it and remove all doubt



Civet
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30 Aug 2005, 7:21 am

Quote:
More often, however, it's a matter of not knowing what to say (ie: failing to be reciprocal in conversation), not being able to break into the conversation, not being able to start a conversation, or in the worst case being simply unable to speak (mutism caused by stress)


It's similar for me.

Sometimes I actually feel like my mouth is sealed shut, physically. Generally when my brain goes into "nonverbal mode." If I try to speak at times like that, it's generally just a few incoherantly strung together words.

Most of the time, however, I just don't have anything to say. My thoughts take too long to formulate themselves into comprehensible dialogue, so even if I do have an opinion often those conversing have changed subjects by the time I can offer my input.

Quote:
Once in college, half of one class didn't think I could talk at all for half the semester.


That happened to me in one of my math classes in high school. I guess I had spoken less than I realized. Our teacher put us into groups, and when I got into my group with two other girls, I started talking about the project almost immediately (we need to get started). One girl just stared at me and exclaimed "You can talk?!"



MishLuvsHer2Boys
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30 Aug 2005, 7:50 am

Bec wrote:
I enjoy talking... sometimes a bit too much.


Yeah I'm much like you. I can't explain why I like talking, I just do. It's almost kinda compulsive.



Prometheus
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30 Aug 2005, 9:19 am

Its not easy at all for me to talk, and in addition I don't like people very much. However, I do love intelluctual conversation and I am always the first guy in class to raise my hand. I do participate in class a lot, but outside of that, I am pretty much inanimate. I have to think what I want to say, think how (pronounciation) I want to say it, and figure out the appropiate body language and timing. Naturally, by the time I am ready, it's too late.

At the beginning of the day, I am much more likely to say 'hi' to someone I know, but near the end, I am more likely to just competely ignore them. I make no effort to get to know the others in my classes, and have no wish to; all contacts are almost always initated by the other person.

Even in dense intellauctual debate with my best friend, I mostly listen to what is being said, and make a short comment on something he said or ask for clarification. On a good night the conversation is %90 he and %10 me, but more normally it is 95 to 5. I still find this sastisfying for me.

I remember when I started group e-mailing members of a camp I went too, they commented that I had a lot more to say online than in person.


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Tom
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30 Aug 2005, 9:21 am

It seems to me that a lot of aspies alternate between being completely silent and talking a non stop load of crap.



thatrsdude
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30 Aug 2005, 9:25 am

That's me alright.


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Astarael
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30 Aug 2005, 10:00 am

I don't talk alot as well... Unless I'm hypo, when I ramble out a whole lot of random stuff, get dizzy and stop talking again. But usually I feel it takes way too much effort to think of what I want to say, put it into words and then actually say it. Very draining process. I also find that if I don't say something I've been planning to say, or I just don't say it, I can't ever say it again... it like gets put in storage and never gets found again... or I don't want to find it.



Who_Am_I
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30 Aug 2005, 10:06 pm

In primary school, children would walk up to me and ask if I could talk. Sometimes they'd ask me a question like "What's your mothers name?". I had no idea why they did it, but I now strongly suspect that it was to see if I could talk.


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Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


Namiko
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31 Aug 2005, 8:08 am

TheBladeRoden wrote:
as the saying goes
Quote:
Tis better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool, than to open it and remove all doubt


That was Mark Twain, wasn't it? ;) Also, there is a quote that goes "Even a fool is considered wise when he shuts his mouth." I think that one is from the biblical book of Proverbs... somewhere.


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Geoffrey
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31 Aug 2005, 6:16 pm

I do not talk either. But that is why I the woman I work with said I am a workplace bully. :(