How is partying a social achievement ?

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I am again thinking that clubbing and partying is a MUST DO and a requirement in order to get the feeling of contentment and the sense that you have 'achieved something' in life and that is exactly what I think people are looking like when there are selfies of them having a great time. I seem to maybe ridiculously think if I DON'T do it then I will be seriously missing out on life and never be happy socially with life because I am choosing not to do it because its not my thing or not always my thing.

It's kind of how people in their late teens, 20s and even 30s make you feel. Where I come from, the attitude is "you haven't lived if you've never had a mad drinking sesh". And it makes you feel lonely and boring if you don't ever drink. It sucks living in a culture where the drinking and clubbing is the trend. But it literally seems that every NT I've ever met have been drunk at least in their younger adult years, and the Aspies who drink have more friends than the Aspies that don't drink.

If there's a barrier to doing something and you do it, it's an achievement

I don't think I've spent $10 in bars my whole life, although I was briefly friends with a club owner. I got my party time when roommates threw house parties, and quite enjoyed them, but have not missed getting other invitations, or been inclined to "buy in" to a commercial party. I suppose it would be a certificate of resistance to jarring sights and sounds. I've been to quite a few concert/dances, either as an organizer, or just to boogie.

I don't know if I was very aware of things around me, though. I went to a halloween dance as a bureaucrat - dressed in a suit and wrapped up in red tape. Staying in character, I'd red-tape my beer to the table when I got up to dance, etc. I spotted an "Admiral" dancing, and zipped right over to wrap him in red tape too. I'm told that he was about to deck me before he saw the joke as I circled him, and left it on.

Here are true reasons why I don't go out to nightclubs:

1. I have social anxiety
2. I don't drink
3. I don't like being around drunken louts
4. I feel safer indoors at night

It's not that I'm antisocial. I would enjoy a club if it was held in the day, had people responsible for their drinking, wasn't designed for the drunken mind, and everybody was friendly and mature.

Yes, nightclubs ARE designed for the drunken mind, a bit like a baby nursery is designed for a baby mind. Unless you are a super loud, chatty extrovert that doesn't need much alcohol to enjoy such a soul-destroying environment, you can't really enjoy these places without getting drunk. If all these nightclubs didn't sell any alcohol, I bet most people wouldn't attend. Most people come out of these places drunk out of their heads. I don't know why that is so appealing to so many NTs.
When I last went out to the cinema with my boyfriend on a Saturday night, the streets were swarming with drunks when we came out of the cinema. People were arguing, fighting, passed out on the ground, vomiting, shouting, swearing, singing... It was horrific. It wasn't a happy sort of atmosphere with people having a laugh with their friends after a few drinks and swaying about a bit and looked like they're having fun. It was the opposite, like everyone had way too much alcohol and were being unpredictable, scary, intimidating, emotional, aggressive, stupid, the list goes on. It was like a dangerous insanity zone. And I get criticized by my peers because I don't do this?

Partying sounds very boring and not like much of an achievement to me. Use the time to read a book instead or do something else that’s productive which you would enjoy.

Achievements... Is not the same as fulfilments or milestones.

If that's your idea of 'achievement' in life, then that's just your idea.

If I were to judge, if it's just only because it's a party therefore one should enjoy, then it's mostly too short term.
If your goal is connections and get to knows, you may be up to something -- then it's something one can pursue from.


Saying partying as a social achievement is meaningless to my case.
Not because of the conditions I have to deal with, but because of unpredictability of my personal experiences.

I can have the aspiring extroverts' achievement of a party raving guest that can hold a liquor, take all the chatters and chaos while standing out well from other party goers. Met some, few stayed in touch, otherwise people come and go.
Then an awkward wallflower that cannot stand anything and doesn't last half an hour at another.

Already saved a party, already ruined a party, etc. Already experienced varying contrasts, I'm that inconsistent as much as parties itself are varying.

I would if I would as I could, yet at large.. It's just that meaningless to me -- a party's mostly a memory to me, no matter how enjoyable or awkward and that's it.
If I ever want partying a social achievement, it had to be a fulfillment -- which I've already done a few times, but will never guarantee to happen again unless it happens to be the case.

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I would regard it as an achievement in the way passing a difficult exam in a subject obe was required to take as part if getting a qyalification but in which one had zero interest andcwss thus very vhard work., and once the ovetsl qualification had been gained onevwould have no intention of doing anything further with the subject.

As a place to meey and nake connectionscwithnothet people, I findvthe club setting pretty useless. The backgroynd noise and amplified music makes conversation impossible.

I have since conluded that clubs work for the NT profile by virtue of the sound leveks shutting down normal polite conversation communication, and combined with thevfre style bopping / dance style, peiple can do the communication in the non verbal ways, many of which may convey a message seeking a cinnection going no further than up agsinst the Biffa binscround the back before headinf home..

My sense of achievement would come, for example, sticking withba clyb evening despite srnsory and social discomfort if the event was a soecisl celebration for someone in my life where aI have a significant connection, and the sense if achievement would be about having succeded in enduringvthevdiscomforts in order tovensure someone about whim I cared was ablevto enjoy a celebration.

Foe me however, the real socisl achievement is from nding settings other thsn clubs whichbare, 1 redoectful of My sensory and socisl prifile, 2, attract peiplevwhi kay have similar interests and styles to mine, and three3, in such a setting makinf sime cobnection with another person.

“Partying” is a social achievement because it means that an individual can endure crowds, noise, and general chaos. In essence, it means that the person has achieved sociability, and can be more readily accepted into general society.

If "partying" can be defined as unrestrained consumption of alcohol in the presence of others, then I can say that it's the one social skill I mastered at an early age. In fact, because alcohol does not make me belligerent, I could almost say that I was even better at it than some NTs.

Clubbing OTOH as it's practiced in Europe is something I could have never gotten any good at, plus it impresses me as an extremely overpriced way to get wasted.

Party skills may transfer well to any situation where one has to look friendly and agreeable with only the barest clue about what is going on, making suitable noises in response when few incoming ones can be deciphered. The various misadventures of drunken people probably also result in a bonding through mutual blackmail, or the potential for it.

Partying is a social achievement. If you can go to a party alone and strike up a few conversations with people, instead of getting ignored the whole time, then that suggests a level of social skill that many isolated Aspies might give a lot to have. If you can approach strangers and get on with them, you'll never have to be alone for long.

I was very interested in doing just that when I was in my 20s. I'd noticed how my usual performance at parties usually left me on my own feeling like a leper. I once tried walking into a bar and talking with the strangers in there, and that worked fine, but once I'd done it, I just reverted to type and didn't want to go back. Not long afterwards I even held a couple of parties of my own - I had some status with a lot of the friendly people there, and knew them fairly well, so that was all fairly successful, though I remember a bloke talking away to me while I was thinking "this is boring but at least I'm not looking isolated." I got overconfident, tried going to another party where I didn't know anybody at all, and I crashed and burned there.

As I grew older I lost interest in these big social gatherings, and decided they were mostly for decadent lowlife scum. These days I'm more objective and I just see them as something that's not for me. Luckily people of a similar age seemed to feel the same way - I guess the whole partying thing is a young person's thing. I found I much preferred to be with small numbers of people in a quiet, comfortable environment, and if I was going to go to a party at all then I'd make sure first that some of the people I felt good about were going too. There's parties and there's parties, some of them are reasonably quiet and benign, others aren't. There are ways of relating to others that are less superficial and vacuous - e.g. working together, and sharing common goals - and that's where I'll make my mark, if I make any mark at all in the social domain. I like to see my social ways as more refined and mature than those of the herd, though that's a very subjective view.

Never done it for any significant part of my life. Have tried going to such things on rare occasions and they have, without fail, been terrible experiences. Absolutely no contentment or sense of achievement from any of them. More like a sense that I wasted several hours, the ringing in my ears will take hours to fade, and my clothes now smell like smoke and will need deep-cleaning. Alcohol does nothing for me, either, which may be part of it. Neither does eardrum-rupturing levels of noise.

There are things which give me senses of achievement and happiness. Partying and clubbing are not among them. They're about as far from them as possible, honestly. I don't consider them a necessary part of life and don't even consider them a positive part of life, although I recognize that other people do. For me, they rank somewhere below 'wading through a sewer'.