Punishment

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This is going to sound a bit odd but when my dad grounds me i'm kind of pleased. i don't mean i enjoy being grounded, that really would be weird lol. But like most of the time i deserve it and i'm happy that he cares enough to punish me and has rules and so on. My mum is always too soft on me. She never really disciplines me and lets me get away with a lot and i thought she was great but now i think she has never really helped me by being like that

My dad is severely strict and for many years i have resented this but lately i am realising that he is right. Lately i am behaving much better than i used to but i am still being bad sometimes and still being grounded sometimes and now when my dad grounds me i don't complain i just accept it and try to learn a lesson from it. my dad says now that i am a bit more mature and he is pleased but he thinks i still have a long way to go. and dad has told me i won't be getting much freedom when i turn 18. in the past i would have complained about this but now i have accepted that i'm staying under my dads care and control for a long time after i've turned 18 and i have come to understand that i still need that. plus my social worker thinks it as well

can anyone relate to what i'm saying? basically i feel pleased when he punishes me because i know he cares and does it out of love and does it for the right reasons. i wondered if anyone else ever feels that way when they are punished by a parent and does anyone have a parent/parents who were too soft and too permissive? its better to have a strict parent in the long run i think, but it took me a long time to work it out.

I hope he lets you be your own man when you turn 18.

I sense that he is laying a good foundation for your adulthood.

Your dad should loosen the reins a bit as you prove that you are growing up.

He should also be a good dad and listen to what you have to say, too.

When my parents split up I was 15, and I sensed that if I lived with mother, I'd never learn what I needed to. I stayed with dad, and he kicked me out at 17 so I could go find better teachers. There were no interim punishments, because any misbehaviour had me worried about being disowned, so I hung on until I had a summer job that I could keep, which came the same year as the end of father's patience.

Liam, you are a good person. You are not "bad," even when you make mistakes or make a less than optimal choice.
If you can't make mistakes, you never learn. Parents and social workers frequently want to hobble the growth of people with disabilities. It rarely turns out well.

When you turn 18, no one can tell you what choices to make with your life. I don't recommend telling your father or your social worker that you might have a different vision of your life. You are just 14 and have a while yet to go. But I wouldn't plan on giving up your autonomy either.

I left home at 15. I left because home life was intolerable. I made a lot of mistakes, but I learned from them. You can also learn from your mistakes.

Mark Twain is supposed to have said, "When I was 17 I couldn't believe how stupid my father was. When I was 21, I couldn't believe how much he had learned in four years."