Is there any Aspie who wish they are born normal?

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I don't know.....I think I'll rather be me than my new friend's older brother. I made friends with the new girl at work, and we went to her parent's house last week, and I met her 22-year-old brother, who lives with his parents because of his condition. I don't know what he's got, but he's got something wrong. But it isn't Asperger's Syndrome.
He's very aware of the world, but cannot handle it. Every minute of the day when he's awake, he is just full of anger, but it ain't just a general anger management disorder. It is very chronic. He can talk well, just like you and me, and he can cook and wash and do all the usual everyday things what we all can do, but nothing satisfies him. He doesn't swear much, and he doesn't stim or get anxious - but he is always shouting angrily. He doesn't like being touched, and he doesn't make eye contact, and if something makes him feel sad he will angrily throw himself on the floor and kick his legs and scream. But he knows he's doing it - my friend says he does (she knows her brother well). But it's just part of his personality - he just has to shout and scream all the time. He wrecks things when they're not working, or if he's holding something (for example, a guitar), and you go and touch him or criticise him, he will smash the guitar up. He wouldn't hurt people, but he's always wrecking objects. And if you tell him off for wrecking something, he will just scream, ''I DON'T CARE!! !'' and go around kicking doors in. His parents wonder if he has severe ADHD, because he always had been aggressive and angry, ever since the day he started crawling. But he hasn't been diagnosed (I don't know why). His behaviour has nothing to do with upbringing, because his sister's just normal, and his parents are really nice.
The doctor did prescribe him some medication to calm him down, but his anger is so bad that the medication had only helped calm him down about 10 percent. He's still on them now. He couldn't even go to school because nobody could handle him. He had ordinary social skills (when he was calm), but he was so full of anger and aggressiveness that any children around him ran away and didn't want to be his friend. So he had to be educated on his own by a social worker (or someone like that), and she took him to the gym (because exercise is always good for aggressiveness), and she took him to do other stuff like that. He did like it, but if she touched him or made him do something for too long, he would start yelling.

He is so good-looking, but he is just too much for anybody to cope with. He's got no friends, and there's no way he could get a job, and he can't walk out in public by himself. Because he's not unconfident and socially phobic like I am, he looks confident and normal in the shops. Me and my friend took him up the shops yesterday and he was OK - until he took ages choosing sweets and my friend said, ''hurry up, mate,'' and he yelled, ''SHUT UP! GIVE ME A CHANCE!'' and carried on choosing his sweets, calmly. I had a great conversation with him, but I was a bit wary of his unpredictable behaviour. But my friend says he only really screams at people he's used to.

I think I'd rather be me than someone like him. Any day. The only lucky thing about him is he does not have sensory issues with noise, whereas I do, and I hate it.

I get really angry when people lecture me, especially over certain things (due to black and white thinking), and my blood boils and I feel an angry outburst coming. I'm probably worse than my friend's brother when I have outbursts. I'm a very angry person; I'm angry with myself, angry with the fact that I have AS and everybody else in my family is NT, and angry with the government for cutting back everything this country needs (eg health services, bus services, home repairment services, ect). But I'm not angry every minute, like this lad is. His anger is his own normal behaviour, and he is just never satisfied with anything or anyone.
When I'm on holiday, I'm really happy. I never get angry. I'm too busy enjoying the different environment, the hot weather, the warm sea, the carefree days of sun-bathing, all the outdoor activities there is to do, and there is always an exciting feeling in the air when you're on holiday. But my friend said that her brother even gets angry when he's on holiday. He's OK when he's just sitting there, but say for example a bit of his ice-creams drips on to the ground, he would yell, ''GOD! It's dripping EVERYWHERE! What a crappy ice-cream! Why do they make them so crap?! !! !'' And he'll shout it in an angry but slurry sort of way - even if he's out in public. If that was me with an ice-cream what dripped a bit on the ground, I would either not notice, or if I got annoyed I would just tut and say, ''it's dripping everywhere now.'' I wouldn't start angrily blaming everyone else.

Often I wish I was normal, my brain would be able to process information faster, I could multitask easily, I could make better decisions.

More to come,

Mark

I just wish it was possible to have a special injection when you're pregnant, to stop the foetus from developing an abnormal brain, then you just know that the foetus would be born a NT. I know being NT doesn't mean you'll live a full, happy life. I am smart enough to know that everybody's different from eachother, and that everybody's got their strange ways, and that will always be so. But being born as someone who has more of a risk of being bullied through school, not having friends through school, feeling lonely and isolated through school, then leaving school and having to go into the big wide world and being expected to conform normally, when you're full of anxiety, anger and stress over little, tiny things....it really is something you don't want or need. It's not so bad when there are other Autistics in your family too, because then your parents can relate to their parents, and you can relate to them - but when you're the only Aspie and your parents are the only ones what have to put up with you and your difficult outbursts and everything - it really is no more than a bain.
Yes, I know all parents have worries about their children, even when they're grown up, but other people's worries of their NT children are just normal worries. ''My child's grades are slipping in this subject.'' ''My child keeps bringing mates home after school while I'm at work.'' ''My child is starting to smoke.'' ''My child really wants a moped but we can't afford it 'til he leaves school and earns money of his own.'' ''My child lost her mobile phone at school today.'' They ARE worth worrying about - don't get me wrong. But they are normal worries what 90 percent of parents have with their kids.
But with a parent of an Autistic child, they have unusual worries, and because Autism is such a misunderstood condition by NTs, parents of NT children have no idea what it's really like (unless they had a job as a social worker or something like that).
A child with ASDs will have a tantrum over something as small as having a different breakfast or something, whereas a NT child would have a tantrum over not being allowed to play outside or something. An Autistic child might scream at a loud noise, whereas a NT child might just cover their ears if they don't like the loud noise.

What's the point of being what they call humans ''social creatures'' when you find that difficult? It'd be like being a wild cat being unable to hunt.

Joe90, if there is a way that a psychiatrist is able to help you, will you want it? That's what I did try searching for when I was young, which I did more than 25 years ago. But that was so early that they didn't even know I have a asperger because asperger was not even known yet. But if it was known, and they do have facilities to help, like training me, building me to be like the normal NTs, it would be the most happiest thing for me. Unfortunately, it was never available. They don't even know I have anything wrong because as I said, asperger was never known yet. They see me as a normal kid, just like the NTs, they only said I was a shy kid, and stammer because I never speak to people much. They told me to relax, talk to more people, build my confidence. But I did try, and it was hard. If I had known I was really different, as now it's known to be asperger, I would certainly try doing something about it to improve myself. I do not want to drag on my poor, negative image that only drags me to more and more difficulty. But unfortunately, I couldn't help myself because I never knew how. I kept on reading motivation books, jotting down on pieces of paper whenever I could think of any idea to improve myself, but it only helped me a little. But thankfully, my wife noticed something was different and did teach me some tactics to meet people, what I need to think and speak. She really helped me a lot. Thinking back, if only my family members, teachers, relatives or friends did try helping me at my early age like how my wife did for me about 15 years ago, I know I would certainly be a much, much better and happier person today. I do believe in training for improvement, just like training to drive a car or swimming. If you like cooking but don't know how, yet if you just brood about it, never learn how your mum do the cooking, do you think you can be able to cook later? No! So, learning, I always believe, is a step to the brighter future.

I just learnt in another thread that we don't differ from NTs as much as what we think. We just interpret things to the extreme, whereas NTs seem to keep their feelings at a balanced level, most times.
I hate snow, and when I hear there is snow sweeping the whole country, it throws me into a panic attack - which is an outburst for me. If a NT doesn't like snow, he or she might panic a little, but would either find ways around it or just forget it soon enough. They wouldn't be like me; throwing myself on the floor and cry in an extreme sheer panic, even if they hated it snowing as much as I do.

Let me think of another example, just in case somebody gets the wrong end of the stick (which usually happens when I write something, then it causes bickering and I can't always be doing with it)

Loud noises, for example. I hate the smoke alarm in my house, and yes it's because I'm an Aspie and I hate sudden loud noises. But that doesn't mean an NT would never be afraid of smoke alarms. My mum is NT and she hates the smoke alarm. When she's on the phone in the hall and I'm in the kitchen with food cooking, she would often say to me, ''shut the kitchen door - I don't want the smoke alarm going off above me!'' so I do. But that's it. If that was me on the phone in the hall and my mum was in the kitchen with food cooking, I would panic and either tell the other person on the phone that I've got to hurry up and go, or I would stretch the phone wire as far as I can and shut myself off in the living-room so I wouldn't be directly under it if it did go off (I would still feel like this if the kitchen door was closed). I even always cover my ears as I walk past the smoke alarm after dinner is cooked, just in case there is smoke from the oven lingering about in the air.

Do you see what I mean? I read about this on another thread, and I thought it was rather interesting, and it's made me feel a little better about Autism now. I've found part of the information I've read, and I've put it in bold (obviously he has explained it in a more effective way than I have, so hopefully his explanation makes more sense):-

I wonder if it is to do with the possibility that the more autistic one's mind is, the less of a filtering system that one has. Someone with Autism might filter out stuff whenever it overloads them and they cannot find a use and place for it in their mind, or someone with Autism has no filter and takes it all in (extremes again). And maybe neurotypicals have such a highly structured filtering system that everything is automatically sorted into its "proper" place in their mind and overload rarely to never occurs for them. (It sometimes might, depending on the NT's personality. Don't forget - everybody's different).
That does not only mean sensory issues. It means anxiety, change, and even the way they express their special interests. (The social skills area might be a different type of thing.)

of course it is not fun living with a disorder since it prevents us from doing anything within the outside world and how it makes us unstable and disturbed in our minds

I absolutely do. I would've been able to live up to the NT standards my parents (especially my dad) held me to, so I wouldn't have it ingrained in me that my best is rarely good enough. I would probably have done much better in college and would have gotten a job I could support myself years ago, followed shortly by getting my own place. I wouldn't have to feel like a burden to anyone, and consequently wouldn't have had the crippling depression I suffered for over a decade, or at the least it wouldn't have been so bad. I therefore wouldn't have had the ECT I had in an attempt to treat said depression, which only ended up ruining my memory. I'd be able to talk understandably whenever I wanted to. Overall, I wouldn't rely on anyone else and the only one I'd be a burden to would be myself, which is really all I want in life.

I was born normal. I'm a perfectly normal autistic woman.

how would i know ? only seeing NT as a outsider ..? we make distinctions based on experience, or what we might think that experience would be like ? Would it be a different type of adventure /life.
Only been able to determine .. i am different in some very basic thought processes and health issues.
combination of which seem to have made me unlike others have observed , en masse .
a sense of distinction between right and wrong . That is obvious to me. following concepts of being
humane.. Thst is not apparent to me in most others have met .. Oddly enough . even here it seems at times . It does not cause me to wonder ,what if..? cause it is not in my realm of experience..
So place me as a outlier . Cause even when i die.. there is little hope for me to be or understand ...all the mechanisms of the NT world . wish could verbalize/write this in a better way

No I don't, I am happy for who I am as an autistic.

I don't mind being an aspie adult. Being an aspie kid is much worse, particularly back when they didn't diagnose AS. They just looked at us and wondered "what the hell is wrong with him" . And admittedly the transition from kid to fully functioning adult was very difficult for me. I hope it will be easier for the current generation of young aspies.