Selective eye contact??

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This is interesting. I am very similar in this way. I have trouble looking the people that I am not super close to in the eye and, if I do, it feels very forced and I have to keep remembering to do it; however, I can look my Mommy in the eyes forever and I long to memorize the greenness and the swirls of her eyes. When I talk to Mommy, often I will look at her face as her face is very calming, even though sometimes, when I ramble, I will look off, but I do not struggle with acceptable rates of eye contact with my Mommy or with my boyfriends in the past-- in fact, I would write very frequently about the color of my many boyfriends' eyes; however, when I do not know someone that well or if I feel anxious around them, I will look them in the eyes less frequently or will focus on their lips or the place between their eyes or look in their direction, but slightly off. One teacher in junior high, I remember looking at his moustache instead of his eyes.

However, I could look at my special people's eyes forever. Also, I love looking into animal's eyes. I love this very much, having staring games with animals. Also, I usually win at staring games with humans, which is interesting... When it is just staring at someone's eyes and not doing anything else, it is anxiety inducing, but I usually just zone out and I can stare for a long time until I forget what I am doing and then blink...

I inadvertently do Passing Eye Contact just enough to get by and not seem "abnormal." When I'm talking to someone, I'll stare through them at their eyes for a second or two then look away until I'm comfortable again, and then pass by the eye contact line for another few seconds and then look away. It's kind of like a pendulum except it stops for a bit at the center. I also realized that I can hold eye contact better when I'm the one talking because I'm more focused on my own thoughts and look through their eyes rather than making that connection.

I would say that my eye contact is poor to selective. My wife has pointed out this deficiency. I usually do not feel the distress of eye contact with family, but the other day my four year old made direct eye contact with me and I had to look away. It made me sad, as she does not do this often and she has really pretty eyes. With the rest of the world, I usually look at the mouth. I have hearing loss and partially read lips during conversation.

Eye contact is also quite different across cultures. If you should happen to see a Tiger's tail dangling from a tree, making eye contact is usually fatal.
I think that I usually fudge it by looking at something close to the eyes, and/or throwing my own eyes out of focus. It is interesting that I also usually avoid eye contact, and don't learn well in a classroom. Teachers are drilled on trying to make eye contact.

Eye contact is something that had to be learned. I do pretty well when I'm not in a stressful environment. When I'm trying to get my thoughts together, that's when I look away and break eye contact.

I also struggle a lot with eye contact with people who make me uncomfortable. In those uncomfortable situations, it takes every fiber of my being to retain eye contact.

Plenty of precious lil "people" have had the nerve to tell me "look at me when I am talking to you"

Plenty of precious lil "people " have. Had the nerve to tell me "what the f**k are you looking for at?"

Thus far, only one time, did someone ask me if I wanted them to make eye contact with me.

And I am 37 years old s**t


f**k those control freak ass holes


It sounds, to me, kind of wierd that your therapist would count the number of times in one hour you made eye contact with him. Did he record the number of seconds too? Seems judgmental and arrogant, to me. But maybe nobody else sees the situation that way s**t whatever


Unless your therapist is telepathic, the therapist has no method of knowing that you don't trust anyone


The counselors' field is the Diagnostic statistical manual, not phrenology


Having said that, not everyone is completely trustworthy, at all times, in all situations

Different people want different amounts of eye contact

I have very selective eye contact as in, if you are close I am way more likely to naturally make it but if I suddenly become conscious of it or am stressed it becomes impossible, no matter who it is. My friends and family just have gotten used to the fact sometimes I am talking to them but am looking half a meter to the side. I don't know what other people think about it... I wonder.