How to tell if somebody is faking ASD?

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^^ relating... I probably should have ALL my posts in the Members Only section, if my friends and family ever figure out who I am, oops. Of course my book (which I have yet to write) may piss them off in any case. Hmmm. I am soooooo afraid of judging others, yet I realize it's crucial to setting boundaries, so I am trying to judge now --- but I guess people learn to keep this to themselves, but I still seek outside validation b/c it's so new to me.

To set boundaries you need to judge behavior, but not necessarily people. You need to be able to assert that you cannot tolerate behavior X in your life, or at least that you cannot tolerate behavior X under circumstances Y.

Good advice. I know that, but it doesn't work for me. Thinking my sister's behavior is unkind, just keeps me down and beaten. Thinking she "is" unkind (unsafe in this way), helps me take an appropriate stand. Ironically of course, my sister is less "mean" when I stand up for myself. So judging the person (temporarily) is a mechanism for me to set boundaries. Perhaps with practice I can smooth out this B&W thinking. In the meantime, it's helping me set healthier boundaries, without it I was the perpetual chump. During my ASD assessment, I was constantly telling my dr that I know the correct way to respond (my intellectual EQ was 100%), but heck if I can actually respond accordingly... I have to manipulate the thoughts into the area of action.

There are many ways to tell if someone is faking Asperger's. First, you would have to be VERY familiar with the diagnostic criteria and symptoms of Asperger's. I do not mean that you know YOUR symptoms. I mean that you should be able to recognize the symptoms of Asperger's in someone else.

One of the core traits of Asperger's is interpersonal and social deficits. To be able to recognize symptoms in someone else, you will have to do something hard for someone with Asperger's and that is to develop a theory of mind for them.

That being said, I would observe how they interact with others. Do they interrupt? Is what they say appropriate to the conversation? Do they make appropriate eye contact? Do they look socially awkward or are they comfortable?

To be able to make those sorts of observations, you have to be able to get out of your own head. Is that something possible for most Aspies?

Why is it your business whether someone is faking ASD or not? That’s between them and their conscience. Obviously it’s a problem if they’re faking to get benefits, but unless you’re their caseworker, it’s not your problem.

You don't like that person so you think she is faking it. If she is so toxic, don't be around her. sh***y people with autism exist.

Also it is a spectrum and symptoms are not always consistent because there are good and bad days. And autistic people are capable of lying, that myth needs to die. Even NTs hate pathological liars. Can autistic people lie about their symptoms? Sure. They can also exaggerate their own autism too. Some also use it as an excuse for their sh***y behavior. Some people do get misdiagnosed with autism but that doesn't mean they are lying about having it if they are diagnosed.


I think using a narrow criteria for your definition of autism to know rather someone is faking it is dangerous.

First of all, though it may be difficult to cope with people whose autism presents differently, autism is incredibly heterogenous and it has been found that it manifests differently in males and females. There is no one way to be autistic.



This sounds alot like Extreme Demand Avoidance, or better known as PDA, which is a type of autism that was discovered in the eighties where children, equally and sometimes predominantly in autistic female children, would be incredibly inept in responding and fulfilling the everyday demands made by other people and by society, entering into extreme refusal behavior that can involve manipulative behaviors, such as making excuses, excessive arguing, suicidal threats, and, overall, what appears rather often in Borderline Personality Disorder. However, it is not a difficulty with trust-- in fact, PDAers may trust easily-- it is an extreme anxiety of change borne of rigidity of thought. I have some Demand Avoidance traits and some aspie traits. I would often refuse to do things that were asked of me, all the way up to twenty, whether it was going to school-- I almost received Truancy-- or throwing a milk carton away and would start enormous arguments or suicidal escapism where I would lock myself in a room, hoping that the overwhelming thing would go away. I also could figure out specific things that would make people more upset as I know my people very well-- such as telling my Mommy that I hate her or telling my Grandmother that she valued mediocrity. I do not actually hate my Mommy and, in fact, love her more than anyone else in the world; I do think my Grandmother values mediocrity... So a girl who is incredibly disagreeable and argumentative and knows minor social manipulation skills does not mean she is not autistic. It just means she likely has traits of PDA and is probably clever and observant.

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Autistic sensory issues are not always consistent. Some days, a dress made of cotton and lacy can feel like pine needles scraping my skin and I have to scrape it off my body before I start clawing at my skin. Some days, I like to put my head under a pine tree and feel the little pine needles pricking my neck while wearing my pretty dress. A stimulus can trigger a different reaction based on sensory overload throughout the day, emotional state, levels of anxiety, whether or not the autistic person is experiencing burnout, or just plain old neuroplasticity-- of having an odd brain... I used to freak out at the smell of air deodorizers and would get a migraine; now, they do not bother me as much...

- [quote="HacKING"] They are a pathological liar and admit to making up grand narratives about themselves, their thoughts, and their feelings for attention. Some of their ploys for attention seem beyond the complexity that one with autism could come up with.

Once again, sounds like PDA. It is also possible that she may have Borderline, which happens due to a traumatic early life, on top of her autism, which existed congenitally. Also, autistic people are not always compulsively honest; they can be pathological liars. I have met a male autistic who has traits of pathological lying, which was often very frustrating, but he is also a very sweet and caring person (an autistic Hufflepuff, actually)

I was in private schools for those with autism up to high school graduation. That is how I know what a mixed bag those with autism can be. The schools I was in had tight criteria for admission so it is unlikely there were any fakers. But I still wondered about some.

I know two adult women who said their assessing dr is leaning towards "not autistic". For one, I am like --- what?! you are autistic! (She's the spock-like personality.) For the other, I'm not sure - she's the "warm" personality like me.

You have just provided evidence to support her claim by over-reacting to it.  Some of the characteristics that a lot of us have around here is a lack of "Political Correctness" and a natural way of being direct, even blunt.  So get over yourself, lighten up, and have a nice day!

I'm blunt too but if I were to unleash that to the full extent, I'd be banned.

For example I think the poster that I responded to may have been offended because I'm implying any female with autism is not really autistic because they probably struggle with being a female with autism and feel that I'm somehow undermining the struggle. Instead of answer the question she threw a personal attack at me because she was offended, maybe for that reason. Which is ironically thin skinned on its own. But we can't set a precedent that somebody can't be scrutinized just because they are female.

Similarly over the years folks have commented (in writing!) how I am the "sweet, young thing" on the outside but they can see hints of "danger" inside. Truth is I am often seething inside - due to real (their bad, and perceived, my bad) injustice.

I wish at work I were scrutinized without bias that is detrimental to my well being. In fact, it would be nice to be scrutinized with favorable bias once in a while. And if *I* were to do the scrutinizing... watch out! Headline: "Pretty Young Thing, who spent decades selectively mute and docile, whips out her Powers and cleans Corporate house!" I wish. It would be soooooo fun to be blunt and powerful. Imagining: You discriminate against others. You are not above them. In fact, in that way you are well below them as a human being, although I am sure in your mind the massive income compensates, which we will be distributing to others effective yesterday.

I'm not off topic here, am I? (sarcasm)

Then you might want to dial it down just a wee bit further.While it is fine to have opinions, stating what you think other people's motives are (instead of what they may be) is presumptuous.What you are implying is a sexist meme.Again, presumptuous. You do not know what her motivations are, but if you really believe that you offended her, then maybe you could apologize instead of blaming her for being offended. Also, if you really feel that she deliberately offended you, then report her to the moderators and be done with it.True. We also cannot set a precedent where females are blamed for the offense 'we' give them.

Again, lighten up!

Autism doesn't do equality, it can effect SOME femails very differently in making their symptoms invisible & thus easier to do things like work, dating etc.., in ways that would be impossible for a most autistic men.

Their symptoms may express themselves still severly though in these women, but differently and non visably like anxiety, depression, eating disorders etc..

Watch this video, does this look like an autistic person on the surface? but she was still diagnosed, like all of us.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1AUdaH-EPM

We had a girl who was bffs with an aspie in our grade and she tried to act like her. I heard people saying that she’s acting, so someone may try but they won’t fool others

When I was in a self contained class, I acted like the other kids in that class because I thought it was normal behavior there and that was how we acted there. Obviously I had my teacher fooled because she thought this was how I acted until my mom told her "She thinks that is acceptable behavior and she doesn't do this at home" because I brought home a behavior from school. Then after that, our teacher started asking us kids in class "do you do that at home?"

Obviously I wasn't the only kid in that class that was copying other kids and it reinforced it in me when they were doing it too.

I wouldn't say I was faking it because I didn't know any better and I wasn't trying to deceive anyone or gain anything in return. This is one of the cons for self contained classrooms. Kids will mimic each other. But to be fair, all kids do it but for normal kids, we call it peer pressure. For small children under age 5 and for special ed kids, we call it modeling or mimicking.