Living in your own world?

Post Reply New Topic

Oh I do that a lot. Being a guy who hopes to become a film maker, I try to imagine scenarios of what I would say during a interview discussing my movie that I would make. I kind of see it as rehearsing a bit. I even speak potential lines for a movie idea that I would be brewing. It gives me an easier time to visualize how the movie would go.

I talk to myself on long walks, or runs. I usually have one sided discussions with people who are causing me stress. I lay out my argument for them to see my side of the issue, and it really relieves of lot of frustration. It's a good way to blow off stream with out having to confront anyone. Often, after discussing things with myself, I let go of the whole thing and calm down considerably. (Passing cars probably think I'm looney!)

I talk to myself all the time.

After thinking about this for awhile, I have concluded two things.

1- It is my way of making sense of people and things and life.

2- Since I have few friends (none locally at the moment), it is my way to compensate loneliness by either inventing someone or talking with a "made up" version of some one who really exists (usually someone I would love to have as a friend).

I have to be careful though as I tend to start out talking in a low voice but I get louder as I go on. My voice tends to carry. I really began to pay more attention to my voice level recently after my priest politely brought this to my attention whilst I was making a confession.

Mum also mentioned she and dad could hear me down the hall from my flat when they came to visit once. Dad thought I had a dinner party in progress. My neighbour also stared at me severely once (we came out of our flats at the same time) I had been talking to myself for several hours before. I knew instantly why he was staring at me. After that he started to turn up his telly or stereo if I talked to myself for too long. I never talk to myself in public or whilst visiting other people.

I'm not really sure if it is only an AS thing or not. I know many NT people that also occasionally talk to themselves. My feeling is it is more prominent amongst AS people. The real trick is learning the right place and time to do it.

I have poor voice modulation, especially when excited. I have become more aware now that I can have a very loud voice, and in the past my mother has either told me to stop mumbling or to not talk so loudly. I whisper generally when talking to myself in public, I thnk but it really does seem to be almost automatic in that I just start doing it without realising and only really notice fully when someone notices or comes near.

Strange, I was wondering whether to write about imaginary conversations with real people that I often have.

But in my case the imaginary-real-people don't talk back, because I don't know what they'd say.

No, well, I'm in my head far more than I'm not (my "shell" would be a better term). I picture things in my mind that I like, like flipping through the pages of a comic book without words; I don't speak to anyone or anything, I just look at the pictures.

I'm sure this could be defined as my world, I just lack the words.

I talk to myself, I laugh to myself, and even make buzzing noices to myself.

I don't really live in my head though. I do talk to people I know in my head when they're not there. But because I know them, I feel weird warping who they are in my head into something I might want them to be. It seems like a violation even if they aren't aware of it.

I'll frequently (ie. up to hours-a-day) have "conversations" with simulations of people I know, in my head. I used to talk to myself out loud sometimes, but I mostly stopped that in high school when people noticed.

Whenever I'm alone, and my braing isn't otherwise engaged (or daydreaming... I'll spend 30-40 minutes in the shower because I've "vagued out" and been entirely in my head).

I tend to laugh to myself a lot, even chuckle under my breath. I try not to do it in public, that and the talking outloud, because I do it almost line second nature. Yet when others do it I do not recognize it as them talking outloud to themselves, usually I think they may be talkting to me and half the time when they do talk to me I hear lots of noise and not understand a single word they said. Happens with music too.

I tend to find things terribly amusing that most people do not, like the way the word Blocks sounds if said the way I say it now a days, or Mr Pibb. Or the sound of car doors closing.

I had to invent my own life to survive. My parents were not accepting of the fact I had aspergers. They treated me horribly and wondered why I never came out of my room. It was simple, I didn't leave my room because whenever I did either my parents or the other kids at school hit me. So of course I stayed in my room, it became easy to make the association between outside and pain. Often, at school, I would hide in a corner at the library or somewhere far from the center of school. If I would so much as say hi to a person or maybe even crack a semblance of a smile, I would get hurt by someone.

I spend about 80-90% of my time in my own world. I imagine what it would be like to live with my favorite anime characters. I used to hoard them in my mind, and I think the max amount was over 100 characters from 6 different series.

As of recently I've narrowed it down to just 2 characters. I pretend that we live in a townhouse in Scotland, and that they're my adoptive parents. I really do love and cherish my real-life parents, It's just that I like to have pretend ones as well.

Okay, I'll stop rambling now.

I used to fantasise about whichever movie or tv character I obsessed over at the time, so it could be anyone from Dr Who to Dracula lol. I used to have a major thing for dracula.