Does Asperger need to be a disorder ? Or you don't have it?

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You can think of broad autistic phenotype as being a sort of "mutt", whereas autism and neurotypicality are both purebreeds.

I am sort of similar -- if you look at my test results. Neither clearly NT, nor clearly AS. Essentially right in the middle. It's been suspected by professionals that what I actually have is a visual-spatial processing deficit.

I can say my diagnosis has improved the relationship between my wife and myself--not that it was bad in the first place. (I got my diagnosis because of professional environments, not personal.) But it does frame things and help mutual understanding. In fact, I am such a fan of diagnosis, I think everyone should get one!

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Thank you so-o-o much for sharing your experience...I definitely take your recommendations to heart...I will pray about it beforehand...God bless you

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I assume the first year of marriage is difficult for everyone...At least half of marriages end in divorce within the first year...My first year was beyond difficult...It is truly a miracle our marriage survived it...A lot of adjustments have taken place since...My husband has made great strives in the last 6 months into our second year...I am very pleased with the progress we both have made...I have adjusted my expectations of him...As he has accommodated for my emotional needs...Sometimes, though, he has his setbacks...This is why i am beginning to foresee the benefits of an official diagnosis...Thank you for sharing your story...I value your opinion greatly...And i will definitely follow through with diagnosis...First and foremost for my beloved husband's long-term wellbeing...Greetings from California to you and your wife...

I just read the article in your signature, interesting. I am however not sure what basis he uses for considering a permanent loss of an ability to be a shutdown.

I might have experienced shutdowns, but if so then usually for a brief period of time and in a safe place like my home, what I mean by that is the sense that you just can't seem to talk or move, but I can get out of it if needed after some seconds so I didn't really consider this to be anything to think about. This happened whoever one time in a room full of semi strangers and I myself found it pretty weird.

We had like a small end of highschool party and in my effort to improve my social abilities tried to share the fun so went with everyone in this small room where girls were having fun, I tried finding something to do but couldn't bring my self to join in any of their silly games so I went out. A classmate dragged me in again but this time I stood in a corner and couldn't move, I did see from the corner of my eye that the classmate and her friend were looking at me pointing and talking ( i didn't interpret this visual information till later) and as soon as I could move again I went out of the room. The classmate who apparently felt bad didn't try to get me in again and stayed with me in an empty classroom.

In university, I also noticed that when I come very early and there are just a few people I would be my normal self but the more people come the more I shut down in myself and find it hard to communicate with others (i think it's all the talking). I was kind of famous for being hard to approach and weird, if someone was seen with me because we were doing a university project together or something, they would get asked how they managed to talk to me. The group I was in for the final graduation project in psychiatric Hospital told my friend, with whom I did projects before and liked, that she should handle me since they don't know how to do that. ( i didn't know this until that friend told me years after graduating ). Mind you I don't bite people or something but I guess they think that I am unapproachable for the simple reason that I don't have the energy to talk with people especially in an environment where there's a lot of them. They also found my nature different from theirs whatever this means.

About meltdowns, I do occasionally become very irritable and might cry over something pitiful like burning my food and basically find everything too much, but it isn't like I completely lose control and I won't throw myself on the floor or hit myself, I will just go to my room close the curtains or shut the lights to avoid hurting the feeling of others and let myself calm down. It however doesn't happen anymore since living alone.

Like with shutdowns there's one accident that stuck in my memory, it was when we went to an amusement park and since I can't ride anything that goes around I just had two rides and was from the start too upset which seemed pretty silly even to me, couldn't stop crying even on the way back. The whole time I just wanted to be home and ended up spending most of the time watching anime on my phone in an isolated dark construction site in the amusement park. I am usually not moody and don't cry often, so I didn't get why I was so upset over an unfruitful night in an amusement park.

I can do eye contact just fine sometimes and struggle at it other times. When it doesn't happen naturally, I try doing it intentionally but can miss the right timing or forget altogether if my brain is occupied with something else.

I agree that even people without autism can have some traits, I probably am on the autism phenotype since my traits wouldn't be considered clinically significant. But I find it interesting that kids diagnosed with autism can, later on, develop to the point that their traits aren't necessary clinically significant but still be considered autistic. I guess it isn't always clearcut.

[quote=Scheimaa]But I find it interesting that kids diagnosed with autism can, later on, develop to the point that their traits aren't necessary clinically significant but still be considered autistic. I guess it isn't always clearcut.[/quote]
They develop coping stratergies. I did without even knowing it. Masking is the main coping stratergy I guess, but also, I can get mindblank when I try to give a direct answer, but in order to get around mindblank, I will keep going off on tangents while talking and I hope to get back to the point eventually that I was trying to make. This for me is a self taught coping stratergy in order for me to avoid those mindblank moments. I never purpously set out to do this. I just developed it. Two types of masking are also like this but the third type of masking that I do is very much manually done.

Yeah, but what I meant was that if this same adult wasn't diagnosed as a kid he might not be diagnosed as an adult since his traits aren't clinically significant anymore. I am aware of coping strategies but at the same time, it can happen that traits change over time with some autistics like being able to eat a variety of foods which wasn't possible before. Or learning to recognize facial expressions with practice and so on. In the biography look me in the eye the author talks about how with age he gained more social understanding and it was definitely something more than coping strategies ( he remains autistic though).

For me for example I couldn't imagine how it must be to be someone else and remember wondering about it as a kid. But around the age of 19, I suddenly got it. Having a friend who explained to me how she and people think and feel helped also in developing the ability to guess what people are thinking or feeling and reading between the lines. which isn't always easy even for normal people.

For example, I have a relative whom I previously offended by breaking some silly social rules many times without realizing. Now that I heard from others how she rants about me when I am not around I can notice a change in her behavior and guess pretty accurately if she is offended. she is the type of person I can very hardly imagine being them but still can guess their state of mind like guessing what a cat is feeling if you look at the signs in context.
Even my highly social younger sister who scolds me if I forgot to say thank you to people or try opening a book on a boring social occasion finds that I can analyze people's behavior pretty well without wrapping myself in their social games.

When you get a thorough clinical diagnosis they are looking at a lot of things that you don't realize that they are looking at. It's not just the obvious traits that you see on the surface. If you have an Autistic brain, they can tell by testing for things that you don't realize that they are testing for. Autism is a lot more than just not having social skills.