Should I be ashamed for still living at home ?

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chris1989
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10 Dec 2020, 10:49 am

I seem to think that even in hard times we are in now, I do still hear of people in their late teens and early twenties getting a place of their own or just moving in with someone, especially people who love their parents not just those who want to get away from their parents and I'm 31 and currently still live with mum and her partner who I get on with very well. There are times that because of the age that I should be ashamed and a big ''loser''. Even when I was in my late teens and early twenties I had no mindset to move out and I suppose because of Aspergers, there is a inability to move out because I have grown up and been brought up for so long living at home throughout childhood and adolescence and it feels like you still are a kid. I obviously don't let my parents do everything for me at home although there is the exception of cooking but I do my own washing, ironing clothes, hoovering, change the sheets on my bed, at times done the shopping etc. I do remember a few years back my dad got me in touch with some people who helped disabled people into assisted independent living but I felt like I didn't want that because it still made me feel like a child and that having someone to assist me all the time made me feel like I was unable to do anything when I am actually very mild on the spectrum.



maycontainthunder
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10 Dec 2020, 10:55 am

40 and still living at home with parents. Even if I wanted to move out affording it would be a huge obstacle and I'm sure others have the same issue.

I know of two NT's (one older and one younger) who still live with their parents and one possible that might be on the spectrum that is older than me who still lives with his parents.



AlexNillson88
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10 Dec 2020, 11:30 am

I don't see anything wrong with that. If this, of course, brings you the inconvenience of living with your mother, then this is a problem.
It's just our society has imposed such stereotypes on everyone. Don't let society make you think you're a loser.



KT67
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10 Dec 2020, 12:34 pm

Nah, it's an entirely cultural thing probably based on encouraging people to buy houses/move away for jobs. For most of human history and around the world, most people lived with extended family or in-laws.


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madbutnotmad
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10 Dec 2020, 12:51 pm

People with ASD often need more support from their family than most people.
No shame.



holymackerel
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10 Dec 2020, 12:59 pm

It's not like you have done something wrong. Most people have problems with work. If it bothers you that much though why don't you apply for housing benefits and get a place of your own?



Mountain Goat
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10 Dec 2020, 1:30 pm

I live with my Mum. Is nothing to be ashamed of.



CockneyRebel
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10 Dec 2020, 10:52 pm

There's no shame in it at all. You should never compare yourself to NTs or else you will never be happy.


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timf
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11 Dec 2020, 12:39 pm

There is no shame in living with people who love you.

One might find shame in hanging around with people who are trying to make you feel ashamed.



Dear_one
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11 Dec 2020, 3:18 pm

chris1989 wrote:
I seem to think that even in hard times we are in now, I do still hear of people in their late teens and early twenties getting a place of their own or just moving in with someone, especially people who love their parents not just those who want to get away from their parents and I'm 31 and currently still live with mum and her partner who I get on with very well.


I'd love to be 31 with support. I wouldn't be looking back and around for keeping score, just focussing on making progress. I don't bug a whole forum repeatedly for opinions on which projects I might be able to finish before dying, even though that's what I have to wonder about.



HeroOfHyrule
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11 Dec 2020, 4:38 pm

You don't need to be ashamed about it. If you and your parents don't mind living together, plus you're pulling your weight by taking care of yourself and helping out, then there's no issue with it. People in a lot of countries live with their parents and other family members as adults, some don't even move out when they get married and have kids.



Vivianalves
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12 Dec 2020, 12:48 am

No, dont be ashamed. Im almost 30 , I live with my parents, have my own job , earn MY money and give money at home. You dont have to move away from your parents to "grow". If you love your parents , why not live with them?



winterfresh
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12 Dec 2020, 2:39 am

No, I've never lived on my own.



cyberdad
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12 Dec 2020, 2:59 am

No I never want my daughter to ever leave home.



idntonkw
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12 Dec 2020, 3:22 am

I lived on my own I guess for 10 yeas. It sucks. It's lonely and my brain turns off and simple things become difficult. I get irritated being around family and anxious about spending time on them. My diet became bad. I don't think living on my own has been good for me. It was a mistake.