I feel depressed tonight

Post Reply New Topic

I feel lonely. I have friends but I still can't help feeling this way. My therapist is no help. If i were to call her right now she wouldn't help me, she'd say a few words and expect me to be fine after that, then she'd continue to do what she was doing before my call. They all have their own lives, wishes, likes, and dislikes that don’t exactly match my own. They have other things to do, rather than being with me. They never invite me anywhere. I always have to go to them.

A lot of times they don’t realize what I'm feeling. And neither do I. But I want them to be able to understand me, I try as best as I can to express my emotions, whenever I can do it, but it's never enough: they often misinterpret what I say, they think I have emotions and intentions that i don't have, and they find the emotions that I do express with my words to be weird. I misinterpret their emotions too.

I'm really tired of this, and depressed. I really don't know what to do. I want real friends but I suck at making friends. I feel like I can't be helped. I feel like no one would understand me. And like nobody really likes me. I feel like I don't have a connection with anyone.

Help

I don't know what to say, but would a hug help?

yes it would. thank you

hello
What you are explaining is very common, especially among people with ASD.

People with ASD have bigger obstacles than most when it comes to making friends.
We also do our own heads in by overthinking and misinterpreting a lot of things that we experience.

This is because we don't have the innate built in ability to read people through their body language,
but also we have problems with how we interpret linguistic information.

We have to use our intellect to work things out, which make us all a bit like Sherlock Holmes,
second guessing all the time. Some times even Sherlock is wrong, and even when he is not
it is exhausting.

I wonder if you have any interests which you could use as a vehicle to meet people.

This site has some people on, but i don't know if any of the members have ever met each other.
People with ASD often end up being very isolationist in nature, so don't really interact with people that much
in the real world.

I always thought that a live chat forum (only text) would be fun
as people could interact with each other in person in real time

perhaps a few different live chat forums would be fun
even one for flirting may be fun
and a cheeky one where people could just have fun without worrying about offending people

anyway
please realise your not alone
the world is full of people and loads of them are just like you and i
not great at making friends

just have to work out a way to get connected
and keep the ball rolling and plates spinning

and the beat goes on

You're welcome.

I've had pretty disappointing experiences with therapy. So often they just seem like they're saying phrases they've memorized by rote and their support doesn't mean any more than getting sex from an escort, it's just what you pay them to do. Since it's just a service one has paid for it doesn't really return the same emotional rewards.

I don't know about you but there was a time I did have a few friends but once circumstances caused me to lose those childhood friends I didn't really know how to make and maintain new ones so I'm stuck perpetually lonely but somewhat comfortable in my loneliness because I wouldn't know how to fix it if I tried. My whole adulthood when I've had a romantic partner they've also been my primary friend/tie to a social circle which I've started to realize isn't a crutch I can rely on. Exactly like you said, I feel like I can't be helped. I feel like no one would understand me and like nobody really likes me. I feel like I don't have a connection with anyone.

thank you, the both of you.

I too struggle with depression. It is overwhelming when you start considering how isolated we all are and how superficial most relationships are. I have to remind myself it is OK to be alone and work - really work - to be grateful for the few people I do have.

Do you do anything to help when you are down? I find doing something sensory like a really hot shower takes my mind off of things.

i watch tv series which is my favourite thing to do. right now i'm watching vampire diares. but it distracts me from the problems, it doesn't make them go away. it would be ideal if i had a real connection with someone, not online but in "real life". and no amount of tv can make loneliness go away.

A hug is offered ..............

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (((((((((( XSara )))))))))))) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dog V4 also offers a hug with optional cold nose.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

XSara, you're right, the tv can't make it go away. I am lucky to have found a therapist I like, and she distinguishes between activities that are "band aids" on depression and ones that help fix the root cause. It is numbing and pleasurable to binge tv or, in my case, YouTube and drink, but like you said, it won't ultimately help.

I have heard exercise does help, if you can get outside, and I have friends in the past who I suspect of being on the spectrum who learned to enjoy hiking and ended up finding a group of friends that way!

Also, hugs are offered, even if they are online.

Om Nom hugs

I wish I could help you, but I feel depressed every night in January.

And a hug is offered to CockneyRebel. Also

Sending you a virtual hug. I'm sorry you are finding therapy doesn't help,I've been in it for years but it took ages to find people who could help and progress is slow so I feel your pain. Autism can be really draining and make you feel alone and it's tough. I'm really sorry you feel that way and hope some day it can improve : )

Thank you. Om Nom hugs