Anyone mourning NT status?

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While 7 out of 10 days I am happy to be diagnosed (knowing why I'm odd, that it is OK, and that there are others like me), about 3 out of every 10 days I find it depressing. I discussed why with my therapist and I told her I always thought there would be something in my life (enough academic or career success, enough relationship success, etc.) that would "flip a switch" in me and I would be "normal". I worked very hard to achieve those levels of success. Now I know that just suddenly becoming normal will never happen, and I feel all that hope just drain away. Anyone else "mourn" themselves pre-diagnosis?

I felt the same before and after my diagnosis--except I knew more after.

Perhaps I mourn everyone else's NT status. Based upon my experience, the world might be better off it wasn't so full of NTs.

I have not be assessed so I do not know yet what I am.

No. I was not NT before my diagnosis.

Please read this: Acceptance as wellbeing--Musings of an Aspie

Thanks, Jiheisho, that was a good read. I like the equipping vs. fixing analogy.
I know I was never NT, I just harbored futile hope that I would be. I am working to adjust my thinking, but that is 29 years worth of self-perception and goals that have to be recalculated, which is a lot. I was just diagnosed right before Christmas. As I said, I do see a diagnosis as a good thing, even a great thing, most of the time.

I found out I got assessed for and most likely had Asperger's/autism when I was around 11-12. It was definitely weird to read things about autism and have it click that it described me and the issues I had, but I didn't really "mourn" being NT as I had always recognized that I wasn't "normal". Other kids and even adults always made it very clear that I wasn't like them.

I was diagnosed Level 2 Autism in 2018, and Combined ADHD in 2020.

I agree with Jiheisho that I was never NT, so there was nothing to mourn in that regard. If anything, I was relieved that I didn't have to feel like a failed neurotypical. I could adjust my self-image and consider myself a successful and accomplished neurodiverse person. Despite being content with my Autism, I felt upset that my family and teachers hadn't been more active at seeking professional support or diagnosis when I was younger. They knew I was struggling and that I was very different from my peers, but I had no accommodations except for speech therapy.

MsJustice,
It's OK to feel how you do. Everyone processes their emotions differently and the path to total self-acceptance isn't always easy. I hope you're familiar with the many wonderful books written by and for women on the spectrum. They might help you to navigate the days when you feel a sense of loss. It will get easier, the more you connect with others and explore your unique style of Neurodiversity. Wrong Planet will certainly help. Welcome to the site!

I been cuckoo all my life

Nothing to “mourn.”

I've been mourning ever since I was 8. Life seemed much easier before I was named and shamed with a label.

I've always felt '"different", so I don't think I have any "NT-status" to mourn. But feeling different often manifests itself as feeling "defective" or out of place in NT society, so I do empathize with wanting to be "normal" to some extent.

When I see NT friends or acquaintances having an easier time making friends, romantic relationships, or being perceived as a "normal" person (which, in NT world, translates to likeable, good, comfortable, not inconveniently going against the grain of their everyday experience, not cramping their style), I feel kind of envious. But I try to remember a quote that one of my heroes uses: "Being normal is not a badge of distinction". I try to remember the positive things that being on the spectrum affords me, such as hyperfocus on special interests, being extremely observant and sensitive to patterns or details that others tend not to notice, the dopamine boost I get from pedantry and having a strong preference for canon, standards, and systems, and the neurodivergent friends I've made whilst discovering myself.

I have no affection or nostalgia for being thought of as neurotypical. It was never an accurate description so why would I? Nor, if it were possible, would I prefer to be NT. I like how I am.

Looking back over my life it would have been nice not to have felt compelled to develop a sophisticated set of masking behaviour's in order to get by. So I guess that the most likely thing I would mourn is for the loss of the child and young man who didnt have to do all of that.

I never mourn for any NT-status.
I could care less if I'm an NT or not, as long as I'm not 'too human' that is needy and clumsy.

I mourn for the not-a-disabled-special-needs-child status.


Something went weird before it did, just as soon as I heard the diagnostician told my mom.

Two very conflicting thoughts and emotions -- one of pride and indignation, and one of liberation and realization -- as if I chose to mourn than accept after diagnosis.

The very core of me always desire a form of independence and reliable competence.
The me during puberty chose pride and indignation.


I do not mind 'different' and 'asocial', yet I very much mind 'needy' and 'incompetent'.

... I thought, back then, I was too human.
There was a time I thought autism would make me 'less human' -- so I wished a lot of myths in autism to be true.
But that wasn't the case for me.

That's why, a lot of unsocial or anti-social stereotypes and beliefs are weird, had usually wondered why it didn't resonated -- as much as I wished it did.

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Question. Can one feel and be told one is different and one knows one is by the way one is and has been treated differently be difderent and not be on the spectrum or am I more likely to be on the spectrum?