The Wrong Planet Guide to Living Independently on the Autism Spectrum

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Wonderful article. I agree that we need to keep pushing ourselves whether we like it or not. Things rarely are as bad as we imagine! I think back to when my youngest went to uni. I'm pretty sure we both have aspergers, although at the time I just thought I was broken and he needed university because he loved to learn. He was smart enough but had OCD, fussy eater, germ phobias - I thought it would be good for him. I never really treated my kids like kids so wasn't concerned about his age (not quite 18) and that the program he wanted was in a different city. First year he had his own room in a 4-man dorm and a meal card, and maybe $200/month to spend. I know it was difficult for him but he never complained. By the summer he would eat anything, even if it fell on the floor haha. He said guys were pigs but he didn't want to come home that summer. I got him an off-campus room and he took classes year round after that, finishing his physics degree early with specialties in astronomy and electronics. He wanted to get a masters so we researched and he decided to stay at same uni. I moved there and bought a place and asked him if he wanted to move in for free. He said yes right away, he just had to pay his own tuition and fun money. I am so glad I moved when I did! For almost 3 years I barely saw him and I must say he was a little wired. His leg never stopped, he had some strange ideas, binge drank. In a few months he was fine for the most part, and it sure was nice to have him around again! We aren't big talkers but we've always got along. He finished his masters in under 2 years but when doing his thesis he started going on about maybe travelling, then getting a job - he was stalling because real life is scary. He's in science uni paid him during his masters and he had savings. Well my good nature went downhill fast. I paid everything all these years and he was going on vacation when all I do is work or stay home (mind you the home thing would have happened anyway). I wasn't happy at all. I didn't do anything specific but he got the gist because he found a good job really fast and moved away. I knew he needed a push and it worked out really well. He has an amazing career now, and is well rounded (a special thanks to his live-in girlfriend). I always knew he'd be successful but I am surprised about how well he adjusts to change and how he self-directs. He swears it's easy to change the way you think. Me, I'm not so sure about that!

thank you sir . I know this is from 2018, but this helped me so much. thank you again

agrees with sara999 ......

And humble tributes to ASS-P

sending you love and blessings all the way from Africa

thank you thank you from the middle of the USA ...dear sara999

Good article Alex, thanks.

I’m beyond terrified to live on my own and skeptical I’ll make it long-term and then eventually wind up homeless, which could very likely lead to suicide, so I stay stuck where I am. I haven’t worked in ages and that alone scares me. Also have no degree of any kind and no motivation to do anything. I have over $10,000 saved up that I obtained after a miserable marriage, so I may last a few months on my own at best. Living independently, it all seems to be so incredibly overwhelming and here I am barely able to drive.

Also would likely need to get roommates eventually and the horror stories I’ve read make me even more scared. They are often thieves and/or their friends are. They and/or their friends will eat your food, drink your soda, steal, be loud and obnoxious, et cetera. To deal with that on top of everything else…not sure I have it in me.

Then it’s merely getting the apartment in the first place, setting up Wi-Fi and such and paying bills monthly, like…how do you do all of that? How do you pay taxes? What if you can’t afford to have an accountant do it for you? How do you do it yourself?

Again, it all seems to be incredibly overwhelming and I worry I have no future and have cried about that before…

I always looked for roommate ads on the bulletin board of a health food store. Vegetarians seem to make considerate roommates. I'm very glad I met many of them.
For motivation, you might try staying on the streets for one night.

I REALLY needed to see this!

I am working on becoming independant and eventually getting married & possibly starting a family but my brother is getting in the way!

I have lived at home for 30 years and it was only recently that my mom has been taken out of the equation so she is no longer an issue or obstacle to my goals but something HAS to be done about my brother first before I even attempt to become fully independant or married!

I'm so tired of dealing with this

What is happening is my brother is dealing with separation anxiety from our mom and if I leave it will only make that worse!

So when I finally do decide to leave home from either independance or marriage the goal is to minimize any damage this could cause to Josh but easier said than done!

I could try leaving inconspiculously without him knowing but he would ABSOLUTELY find out if I was getting married or moving out to be independant

Therein lies the problem

How can I eventually untether from my brother without causing any irreversable or irrepairable damage to our relationship?

Know, I'm hardly getting off my country because the economy is worsing and the opportunities are very little for an student these days.
I just wanna get out my family, they din't believe I'm autistic and never supported me in almost anything, they just say it to look good in front of the people, but inside house they're totally different from outside. I'm so tired of it, I wish I could be alone for a long time to build my life the way I think is the right and not leave my lif choices on the hand of someone else or the government that is leading to communism. If someday I'll enter my path to travel to Norway or Italy, I'll post it.
Wish me luck.