Protective of Special Interests

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When I was younger I talked about my special interests too much, which got me in trouble on numerous occasions. I can still hear my father or my one Grandma chewing me out still in my head. There was one time at family gathering where I went overboard and on the way home, I got shouted at the whole the whole 15 minute drive

As I got into my 20s, I got better but still had some cringy moments. By the time I got in my 30s I started to realize, maybe it's best I keep my special interests to myself and/or only talk about it online in certain places. If asked, I keep it to the point but mostly I don't bring it up.

With my interests anymore, I find not talking about them with others(outside of the internet) is really for the best. It's like I don't want them insulted or being told there a waste of time.

Do you enjoy talking about your special interests or are you secretive about them?

I don't know many people who would be interested enough in my special interests. There are a few, such as one bloke who was very into the technical side of music. He seemed genuinely interested when I described how I'd found an untested way of making a pickup for an acoustic guitar that sounded better than the ones you can buy for the price of making the one I'd designed.

I suppose I'm lucky that my main interest is in music, because at least a lot of people are also interested (musicians, amateur recording engineers, even some music lovers). But the overlap of interests, though appreciable, is only a small proportion of the whole sphere. Even the techies tend to have a different way of doing things to mine, and they'd probably not be able to take my methods seriously. So a lot of my activities come over as too unusual for them to grasp without investing a lot of listening time in something that very likely wouldn't turn out to be all that interesting to them. Most of the software, hardware and methods are very old, and most people seem to move with the times, while I don't do that so much.

So I don't readily share the details of my special interests, though I don't particularly protect them, and if anybody shows that they're genuinely interested, I'm happy to explain what I've been doing.

I don't know that I would call it "secretive" but I do find it best not to talk too much...about anything!

I'm not always successful but I try not to talk much, and when I do I try to be very concise.

I feel some satisfaction when I am able to say one word and get my message across.

Oh, and over the years, I've learned other people are only interested in what they are interested in. They try to lead the conversation to their topics.

Sometimes you can lead the conversation with a very short teaser sentence. Something that causes them to question you for more information. ("Gee. If I'd known that ambulance was trying to follow me I would've gone slower.")

I am very open about them but I try to talk about other topics too. In the mean time, I spend my own spare time enjoying them and do what I can to get them out of my system. I also find some fan clubs and other related things where I can talk about these things,

For example, I used to attend a coffee shop which doubles up as a cat cafe because I love cats. I am also fascinated by a breed called the British Short Hair next ginger cats. Therefore, I follow related Facebook pages.

Oh man, I relate! I was very secretive about my special interests for ages and ages; I’m still working on not feeling like I have to be.

I’m lucky enough that the important people in my life (i.e. my immediate family and my close online friends) are very understanding, and so what I do is simply tell them, “I won’t know if I’m going on too long about the same thing. Please tell me if I’m boring you or exhausting you, and we can talk about something else.”

And that’s removed a lot of my shame & fear! Not all of it, but a lot of it!

Also, I hate the idea of cringe culture so much. Why is it our fault that we love things? What’s bad about that? Just because you (allistic people) don’t understand it doesn’t make it shameful or embarrassing. Personally, I’m sad for them that they don’t get to experience the kind of joy we do. And if they can’t find it within themselves to at least respect our joy, even if they don’t understand it, well, that’s on them.

Some of my special interests are dated and others are cringy. There are a few that are mainstream. I mainly keep them to myself. I remember getting yelled at and chewed out by my parents as a child for talking about my special interests. I still have flashbacks about it. One such interest that I went on about at the age of 10, was the United States of America and I was born in Canada. My parents chewed me out about that one big time, my mum in particular. I hated that country as a result until 9-11 happened and than I felt guilty for all the years that I hated that country.

I'm secretive about them. I had the mickey taken out of me as a child and I grew up with a lot of shame around them. I started to talk more in therapy about one of my interests but even though she didn't shame me I started to feel that she was viewing me in a more negative light as a result. She didn't know I was on the spectrum though, as I didn't at the time. I just feel now that my interests are best kept safe inside.

I don't talk about my special interests with everyone I meet. I don't usually talk about them with my neighbors, or with random people.

But, fortunately, one thing I did figure out early on was that my special interests were the key to finding good, genuine friendship with at least some of the people who share my interests -- the weirder, the better.

Such people weren't necessarily easy to find, but it definitely was worth the effort to find them. Not all of them became friends, but some of them did become very good friends.

Maintaining and deepening a friendship requires more than just having interests in common. But talking about a special interest, with a person who genuinely and enthusiastically shares that interest, can be an excellent way to get a friendship off the ground.

Ditto for romantic relationships, in my opinion. Some people feel that shared interests aren't necessary to have a good romantic relationship, but, for me personally, shared interests definitely are necessary. For me, without shared interests, it's not even possible to have an enjoyable first date, much less anything beyond that.

Very totally protective. I hide & deny them when accidentally something comes out showing they exist. Special means SPECIAL!

From the age of six my special interest has been Human Sexuality, and bringing up that subject at every opportunity can cause a lot of problems - or the same problem over and over.

They would sometimes get all private and/or condemn my "obsession" with sex - which was definitely the pot calling the kettle black. It was the way the NT's led a very full and covert sex life, yet apparently wanted to deprive others of any help with information, that kept my interest piqued.

They wanted me to not talk about it, but their behavior provoked discussion. I had to burn a lot of bridges, but I did get the answers. Was it worth it? I had no choice! - YES!! !