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I did it again. And this time she’s REALLY mad.

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JuanDiegalo
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28 Jun 2022, 6:42 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
She's "giving you one more chance."

It's not all over yet.....


She only meant that she was giving me one more chance in regards to the camera, or she would rip it off the wall. In my anxiety and self-loathing, I imagined she was applying that to the entire relationship. But she's not. I know that. She used to have doubts, but has more recently said that she feels secure in our relationship and has zero worries of either of us going anywhere. My own fears of abandonment go back to an unstable childhood, but that's something I'm working on in twice weekly therapy for the past five years. I share her sense of security in our relationship most of the time, but I'd like to be able to sustain that during these moments as well.

Thank you for your encouragement and support. It means a lot.



bcousins
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29 Jun 2022, 3:41 am

JuanDiegalo wrote:
Unfortunately, this has caused an upset with my wife and son, who see the camera in the living room as a violation of their privacy. I agreed to adjust the schedule, so that it would turn off during daylight hours when they’re home, and come on at night for security and to see what the pets are up to (that’s always fun). I was also allowed to have it come on during the day, when they were at work and school (again, security).


Bugger. That.

If absolutely nothing else it is a safety measure for people within your family.

Never know when someone will break in, etc etc.


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JuanDiegalo
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29 Jun 2022, 10:44 am

bcousins wrote:
If absolutely nothing else it is a safety measure for people within your family. Never know when someone will break in, etc etc.


I think I will install a camera on the front porch, at least.



kraftiekortie
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29 Jun 2022, 10:45 am

If you did that, the cycle will repeat itself.

I feel like your wife would like to be consulted on this.



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29 Jun 2022, 1:08 pm

^ I vote with Kortie, here. It is just plain respectful to consult with your partner when you are doing things to the house or family.

bcousins wrote:
JuanDiegalo wrote:
Unfortunately, this has caused an upset with my wife and son, who see the camera in the living room as a violation of their privacy. I agreed to adjust the schedule, so that it would turn off during daylight hours when they’re home, and come on at night for security and to see what the pets are up to (that’s
always fun). I was also allowed to have it come on during the day, when they were at work and school (again, security).


Bugger. That.

If absolutely nothing else it is a safety measure for people within your family.

Never know when someone will break in, etc etc.


I respectfully disagree with you. I work with people with developmental disabilites who live in the community. We have to respect people's rights to make and live by their own choices. This includes what some of us may see as risky behavior.

But in this case, we are not even talking about risky behavior. We are talking about a wife and a mother in her own home. Someone who is competent to make decisions about her own safety. If she is the one being observed, she must give consent.

When you take away someone's right to make their own decisions about how they want to live their lives, you take away all their autonomy and self-esteem.

You always have to balance individual rights with safety. In this case, the camera is clearly violating her right to privacy in her own home.


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rse92
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29 Jun 2022, 2:23 pm

Have you installed a burglar alarm system in your home?



rse92
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29 Jun 2022, 2:24 pm

bcousins wrote:
JuanDiegalo wrote:
Unfortunately, this has caused an upset with my wife and son, who see the camera in the living room as a violation of their privacy. I agreed to adjust the schedule, so that it would turn off during daylight hours when they’re home, and come on at night for security and to see what the pets are up to (that’s always fun). I was also allowed to have it come on during the day, when they were at work and school (again, security).


Bugger. That.

If absolutely nothing else it is a safety measure for people within your family.

Never know when someone will break in, etc etc.


Yeah, no.



JuanDiegalo
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29 Jun 2022, 3:14 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
If you did that, the cycle will repeat itself. I feel like your wife would like to be consulted on this.


You are correct. I appreciate the advice. I should have mentioned that she is okay with cameras on the outside of the house. I apologize for the omission. We have one viewing the side yard already.



JuanDiegalo
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29 Jun 2022, 3:16 pm

blazingstar wrote:
^ I vote with Kortie, here. It is just plain respectful to consult with your partner when you are doing things to the house or family.


Thank you, Blazingstar, for your good and healthy insights. I also agree with Kortie.



JuanDiegalo
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29 Jun 2022, 3:20 pm

rse92 wrote:
Have you installed a burglar alarm system in your home?


We have not. But I'm thinking of getting those window and door alarms. I will, of course, consult with the other occupants of the home on any new changes, as Blazingstar and Kortie so wisely suggested.



Mona Pereth
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01 Jul 2022, 8:19 am

JuanDiegalo wrote:
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Is it possible to set up a bunny-cam that's down at bunny-level and only focuses on the bottom six inches of the room?


I'll think about this. Thank you for the suggestion. I think the issue is more the possibility of me overhearing a conversation she doesn't want me to hear, than seeing something I wasn't supposed to see. She's not hiding anything, but sometimes she might want to vent about me to a friend or parent, or talk to the boy about something meant just for them. I get that. She might gripe about me a lot. I have no idea. Like I said, I don't watch the camera all the time. I would check in a few times a day, scroll through for anything out of the ordinary, make sure the bunnies are eating and drinking regularly, etc. But the point is, she has no idea what I see or hear, so that creates a feeling of insecurity, just the possibility of being overheard at the wrong time. I think I'm just going to leave the camera off the wall. It will make them feel better. It will make me feel less compelled to "spy." We'll just take care of the bunnies the old fashioned way, like people did for years before cameras were everywhere. It's a luxury. Not a necessity.

Would it be possible to record just video but not audio?

Seems to me that, for security purposes, all you would need is burglar alarms plus video cameras in only a handful of places (not the entire house).


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malco
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02 Jul 2022, 10:26 pm

Your wife might have less to be concerned about than everyone in your household. And everyone who has laptops, cameras, smart devices etc. in their living spaces. Call me paranoid but when I first learned to program computers 40-something years ago I came to several conclusions: the only people who really control programmable systems of any kind are the people who write programs that execute on them. Not the owners, not the security companies etc. NOTHING is truly bullet-proof when it comes to security. Cameras and microphones can be turned on discretely, as can phones and any other system incorporating a microcontroller/processor etc. Even speakers can potentially be used as microphones. Keytap signatures/sounds analysed by a resident microphone, worn keys viewed by a camera etc. etc. The list of what is possible is endless. All it takes is a clever piece of software added to (or perhaps originally being a part of) the operating system. Which is why people are working fulltime (and being paid well for it) on securing any sort of programmable device. Anyone who thinks connecting critical systems (from the humblest computer to power stations, fuel distribution networks and so-on) to the internet is a good idea are opening themselves to potential problems. The only person who can really know whether a router is or isn't open to being used as a spy is someone who has disassembled the firmware and any resident app and examined its execution paths. Assurances from companies and governments of device-manufacturing and exporting countries are worthless. Caution and recognition of what can be done should always be a guiding principle. I always assume what I am doing can and probably is being monitored by some agency somewhere. I did take the trouble to blind and deafen my laptop to a partial if not total extent by physically disconnecting its microphone and camera. I do not wish to have a spy in my study. I design electronics and do not wish to share the IP I generate with anyone I choose not to.