There are days when I don't feel autistic

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I was diagnosed as an adult, and sometimes I feel really good, don't fail obviously when interacting with people, don't feel socially awkward, etc., and it's during these times that I question whether I'm autistic or misdiagnosed. I've spoken to a counselor about this, and he said there was no chance of losing my diagnosis once I'm diagnosed, but I feel...isolated from other neurodiverse people when I'm like this. I feel like I'm trying to inhabit someone else's mind, and it's actually pretty stressful. I wish I knew how to get over this, how to convince myself that I'm still myself even when I don't feel that way.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

A lot of us "don't fail obviously when interacting with people," at least not all the time. Many of us do eventually learn to interact with other people passably well, although some things remain difficult.

"Imposter syndrome" is common especially when we first get diagnosis... still trying the diagnosis on for size and skeptical, looking for proof of what is "real". If you look at the ways we experience grief, we have "denial" as part of the experience of leaving our old selves behind and facing the new. Do you think you constantly have to feel like a failure in order to be autistic? Are you willing to recognize we all have good days and bad days? I don't think about being autistic as much now I have adjusted to being diagnosed and learned more about autism in general. I wonder if you are fairly newly diagnosed (3 years ago or more recently). Cut yourself some slack, do self care, you are worthy of enjoying fun and successful days, and we all have those too.

When I'm "in my comfort zone" I don't feel autistic and question why I ever thought I might be. It isn't until I'm out and about, having to drive or interact with people in unfamiliar situations or deal with unexpected surprises that I find myself struggling to function in a way that doesn't seem to be a problem for some people.

Who and what are surrounded by can affect a lot how autistic you feel.

It is possible to lose an autism diagnosis. How that is done for adults I don’t know.

Even many schizophrenics aren't "always schizophrenic."

The only time I feel autistic is when I'm depressed (as in when I get depression flare-ups). Depression can even make NTs feel isolated from the world so it does the same with me.

Yes, I tend to alternate between being a zombie and functioning quite well. It depends what I'm doing at the time. When I had a good job I felt pretty switched on but now out of work I feel like a bit of a ret*d.

Seems the normal thing to feel. NT's feel the same. We are like NT's but with autism. I wouldn't even remember that I'm autistic if everything was going great with my life.

Yes, I spoke to my counselor about that, too. He said it happens primarily with children. I guess it's not so much fear of losing my diagnosis but more fear of losing who I am. When I first got diagnosed, it answered so many questions for me, but I started having more questions as I got older and got new symptoms. After I reached my thirties, for example, I started having periods of time where I would perceive emotional information from my environment very strongly, to the point where angry facial expressions even in pictures made me feel scared or sick.

These periods always confuse me, because I don't equate heightened emotional awareness with autism. I'm also diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, however, so maybe that could account for it? I'm not sure. I just find these sudden changes jarring and difficult to cope with.



I guess I didn't describe what I'm dealing with well in my initial post. I'm having heightened emotional awareness and experiencing discomfort with objects and activities I normally enjoy. For example, I normally like learning about bugs, but for some reason, recently I've been getting sick feelings when thinking about them or looking at pictures of them. I'm perplexed by this and a bit angry at my mind because it's like it suddenly decided to switch gears on me.

thinking you've lost yourself or can't understand who you are after diagnosis is very common. Our new perspective changes almost everything. No wonder we are shook up. Understanding of our past, of previous experiences, of things we have always believed, of people and their motivations, etc are completely shaken. Its OK to feel lost and confused. Eventually as you sort your past and figure out your present, do your emotional homework and all the rest, things will begin to settle down. Hope you find peace, self understanding and healing in exploring your "new to you" identity

"I guess I didn't describe what I'm dealing with well in my initial post. I'm having heightened emotional awareness and experiencing discomfort with objects and activities I normally enjoy. For example, I normally like learning about bugs, but for some reason, recently I've been getting sick feelings when thinking about them or looking at pictures of them. I'm perplexed by this and a bit angry at my mind because it's like it suddenly decided to switch gears on me.[/quote]"


i think this happens to some, where things we enjoy can suddenly have quite the opposite status. the frequency of this switch is unpredictable perhaps. i think there are "seasons" we find ourselves within. sometimes if i really really enjoy something i kindof worry in my backbrain that i may find myself someday hating it. i do think we have the capacity to find another thing or things. i feel sad that you seemed to have lost an enjoyment focus, but maybe there's a different aspect of it or a different subject you can substitute for a time and come back to it later down the line...

^^^^
this

Integration of yourself ... and letting your Dx , just be ..There was a time when we were all little and thought nothing of Autism. Just being was the daily enjoyment or serious challenge , And yet here we all are today . With all our
quirks and weirdnesses . But that brain inside is still the same brain you started out with , but with oddles more information . That Information , becomes our perspective . But Sometimes , Its our perspectives that can give us our issues , i feel . Then that affects our judgements ? .... Even sometimes tainting colours of what is actually really in front of us. But regardless of all that , we are still autistic and see through those eyes .Nobody elses . So maybe
could just live in the moment and try not to filter things from Aspie point of veiw. But live with it and let others sort it out ?