Should I wear NC headphones at supermarket?

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as tempting as it would be for me to tune the world out, it might well interfere with my vigilance/situational awareness and put me in danger if i did so. so the world for me must remain unfiltered at least for now, unless i managed to rate a personal bodyguard, that is.

I used to volunteer at a nursery for children aged 2-4, and funnily enough there was less shrieking going on there among 30 toddlers than there are in supermarkets from 3 or 4 children. So that goes to show that toddlers play their parents up, particularly their mothers, and seem more placid when around other toddlers in a toddler-friendly environment.

I couldn't say anything to parents of noisy children in supermarkets because it is highly frowned upon and might cause a scene if the parents seem the fierce type. I've non-verbally let them know how loud their children are being and they (the parent) didn't like it one bit, they got offended and gave me a dirty look. So it is better to just keep your mouth shut. To me that's called masking. I have to mask my emotions in public, which is why I find being in public so stressful at times.
I even went to the supermarket late at night once and there were kids in there running around squealing. I don't really like being out during the night so that's why I don't go to the supermarket at unsociable hours, and I don't like ordering groceries online because if they don't have what I want they put a substitute item or something and it's not always what I like. If online shopping was so great it would be nice if some of these parents with these ill-behaved kids could do it (they seem to have internet access because they're always on their phones). Then again it is healthy to take children out, not like our upstairs neighbours who never takes their kid out.

I'm always screaming internally... is that something NCHs can help with?

lol (j/k)

I do hope you can resolve this issue. I totally get how noises can annoy and hurt. That said, is it possible the community here can help you get the "proper" headphones?

I loved Super Nanny. My kids were never a problem to begin with, so I didn't have to be that extreme. They were naturally quiet. Our routine included a few hours of "quiet time" each day where they had to be alone in their rooms just self-occupying with books or toys, or even thinking. It seems most kids aren't taught the value and joy of thinking, or having an internal dialogue these days. My daughter liked to do artwork on her own from a very young age, maybe two? As she got older she liked to write a lot. I've posted some of her funny little messages but they developed into stories, and she became a published author. My son was into Pokemon cards, learning about birds, and building Lego or K'Nex. He played a lot of sports outside with friends but again no screaming. Both of them were really into music as well, playing piano at their dad's, but keyboard, guitar, etc. at my house. My adopted son was a handful with impulsive behaviour but he was never noisy. It's hard to say if I impressed on them the need to STFU , or if I just won the jackpot with such good kids.

Come to think of it, when my son was 0-2 I was on maternity leave and we went to a mothers' group with all sorts of other toddlers at my church. We used to go on outings and the kids would fall asleep most of the time. It was really mellow. I remember hating the chit-chat with the other parents, but don't remember a lot of noise.

I feel that. I don't like to wear headphones outside of home because I'm so hypervigilant from trauma. I need to be tuned into my environment or I get really stressed. I also feel like I'd dissociate if I was in a sound-bubble listening to my music in public. It would make everything feel surreal and detached like a dream sequence. On top of that, I can hear my heartbeat and my footsteps when I walk outside in my NCs. I'm not sure why I don't hear that in the house, but it drives me bonko.

I don't like to listen to music in supermarkets because it hinders a little. Wearing NC headphones that just muffles sound and protects my ears from loud high-pitched kids would be best, as I could focus better and be vigilant. With NC headphones on I can still sort of hear if someone is interacting with me but not so much with music. Kids screaming is the only noise that bothers me in a supermarket, otherwise I can filter out any other noise like the music or people chattering or tills beeping, etc. None of that bothers me. The smells (if any?) and lights don't bother me either. Just the sound of noisy kids. Take all the little kids out and I'd be much more chilled.

I understand. It must be especially brutal for you with a perfed eardrum.
What's holding you back from wearing your NCs?
Is it just the embarrassment that you'll draw attention to yourself?

Yeah, kinda. I'm just hoping people will think they're music headphones, since I don't "look" autistic. Yes I know some people get annoyed when people say "look autistic" but what I mean by that is I don't do obvious behaviours that might stereotype me as autistic such as hand-flapping.
I know some may say "who cares what people think?" but I have scopophobia (fear of being stared at) and I try to avoid drawing attention to myself in public the best I can, as passing as NT is important to me even though many other autistics may not relate to this (I don't mean you, and I know you have scopophobia as well).

Could you use your nighttime ones? I think you said you have silicone plugs?

I think earplugs would be fine. I even wear them to loud parties. Luckily (or not) people here can't afford to have children any more so we don't hear kids much now. It's a little odd sometimes to go for a walk on a fine day and pass by several empty playgrounds. I don't think screaming is just a girl thing, though. Most little kids do it, it's just girls do it for longer because they weren't told to shut up. Maybe it's genetic. There are some babies who never cried. It's probably a red flag if little kids are too quiet.

It’s probably worth it if it allows you to go the supermarket more easily. Just be careful if you go outside wearing them where there’s traffic

These days, they have ear plugs that mostly just filter out the sounds that are overwhelming. If you're sensitive enough for ear plugs to be useful, you're probably sensitive enough for that to be a non-issue. Pretty much the only real risk I've noticed is those electric cars, but apart from that, if you're not someplace you shouldn't be, then you probably don't have much to worry about with the ear plugs.

There's also online pickup at most chains these days, assuming you're not too picky about the produce,

I could, but they might be noticeable, and that might make it more obvious than wearing headphones, as headphones can be mistaken for music, while earplugs just indicate that you have a problem with noise.

Although autism isn't that much understood by society in general, most people only know autism by stereotypes. So if you're showing the stereotypical autism stimming or showing that you don't like everyday noise, that can make people assume autism and it's probably what people mean when they say "you don't look autistic".

(A little off-topic here)
"You don't look autistic" actually means "you're making eye contact, you're having a conversation, you seem social, you have time in your voice and facial expressions, you're not talking about trains, you're not flapping your hands..."
They say it's only autistics who are the selfish ones who only see what they can see (from their own perspective) but I believe it's a common human trait that I wish people (NT and other autistics) would admit. If someone you, and everyone else, trusted were told that they turned out to be a serial killer, it would be so shockingly hard to believe and some would not believe it unless they actually saw for themselves.
If NTs could see more things beyond their own perspectives then this world would be much more understanding of the ND community (not just autistics).
When my mum was going through chemotherapy and was waiting in the doctor's surgery waiting room for one of her regular blood pressure checks, she was feeling frail due to the chemo, but because she wasn't elderly and didn't really look ill on the outside, she got demanded by elderly people to give up her seat. Even younger people shot dirty looks because they thought she was being disrespectful because of not standing.

And that is just one example of what I see every day from humans in general.

That happened in a way to my dad --- he parked in a handicap spot in a (used) sports car and got out ----and received a verbal whipping from some folks passing by--- until he pulled out a wheelchair and picked up my 7yo sister from the passenger seat -she had been severely injured in a car accident. I tend to be more open to possibilities and would be curious rather than judgmental, or if reflexively judgmental, I would hold it at bay until I had more information. I love information. I love corner cases and exceptions. After all, most of us live as one.

Nevertheless, a LOT of people abuse the handicap permit. A family member's husband needed the permit. But when she drove the car herself, she'd still use a handicap spot every single time. I one day questioned this. She said the handicap permit (which hung on the rearview mirror) was for the car, and as long as she was driving the car, she could legally use it.

Walking is the best exercise, any doctor will tell you, and while some people legitimately need the handicap space, including able-bodied drivers who have disabled passengers to help out (I've been the driver many times), there are many morbidly obese people who are getting these permits after simply telling their doctor, "Walking tires me; I'm fat; I need a permit." Yet they're the ones who need to walk the most. It's called privilege.

However, it's impossible to strictly regulate every single case of "I need a permit." Doctors don't have the time to measure walking capacity of every obese patient who demands a permit. But at the same time, doctors should know if walking the typical distance from their car to a business entrance would harm that individual. There are visibly disabled people crossing finish lines of 10k's and even full marathons, yet someone uses their obesity as an excuse to avoid walking an extra 50 yards while their only inconvenience while walking is feeling extra body weight. This is grossly unfair and robs truly disabled people (and their drivers) from getting those spots. Don't get me started on the abuse of motorized scooters at Walmart, where very elderly people or war veterans who came in with canes or walkers must wait for an available scooter because YOUNGER morbidly obese people, who did NOT come in with canes or walkers, are using them. My rant will probably hit some nerves here, but you have to admit, it's true.